Sara Pascoe turns up for old times' sake, gets grilled by not one but two Sarah's, pitches a Thursday Murder Club rival called The Wednesday Hospice Pickpocket Club, and has her own historic bankruptcy read out live on air by an AI bot with a long memory and no filter. We welcome Queensmith CEO Brett Afshar for this week's theme, Diamonds, and somebody ends up wearing a £185,000 ring.

0:17 Going Through My Dead Nan's Handbag

2:19 The Locket

2:45 Enter Sarah Pascoe

3:12 Licky

3:36 Catching Up: "Long Time No See"

3:50 The YFCs and the Boadicea Chariot Comedy Analogy

7:03 The Weirdos Book Club

7:13 Flight from Death Row and the Withered Twin Theory

8:38 Comedians Training Their Dogs

8:58 Amanda Lamb, Shepherd

9:49 Sarah's Verdict on AI

10:20 The U2 Album Everyone Hated

11:49 The Houseboat on the Strait of Hormuz

12:14 Turning Down Riyadh and Dubai

13:16 Enter the Other Sarah (the AI Bot)

16:02 You Must Be Joking and The Tomorrow People

18:38 The Belt That Made His Trousers Fall Down

19:16 Meeting Cariad Lloyd at University

20:11 The Wisest Thing Anyone's Said About Podcasts

24:19 The Participation Song

25:11 Would I Lie to You and the Lee Mack Rule

26:09 The QI Fee and the BBC Tartan

26:57 Hosting Have I Got News for You (and the Glue Prank)

28:31 Last One Laughing and the Case for Bob Mortimer

30:24 Should Roisin Be Allowed in the Room?

32:04 A Cigar and Her First-Ever Stand-Up Gig

33:07 Interrupted by a Deliveroo (For Greg Wallace)

41:44 Twix Drop (Possibly Poisoned)

42:20 Why AI Should Run on Sewage

44:16 Sacked from The Great British Sewing Bee

46:14 The Thursday Murder Club and the Hospice Pickpocket Pitch

50:50 Medievaloo

52:48 Theme of the Week: Diamonds with Brett Afshar

53:23 What Actually Is a Diamond?

54:34 How Diamonds Reach the Surface

55:36 The History of the Diamond Engagement Ring

56:43 Where in the World Diamonds Are Mined

58:47 How You Cut a Diamond With a Diamond

59:26 The Largest Diamond Ever Found

1:00:33 What Makes a Diamond Valuable

1:01:37 Carats, Explained

1:04:38 Trying On a £185,000 Ring

1:06:53 Blood Diamonds and Diamond Ethics

1:08:06 Lab-Grown Diamonds

1:11:30 Harry's Joke Corner

New episodes of The Harry Hill Show every Monday.

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Matt Baker - TV royalty, now knee-deep in mud - turns up straight off the train from Durham and gets sniffed out and confesses to the Great Nuremberg Pork Allergy Incident.

We're joined by underwater archaeologist Dr Peter Campbell for this week's themed deep-dive, Sunken Cities, and Matt is put through a bruising round of What Is the Velcro Singing?

1:20 Unfinished Business

3:29 Enter Matt Baker, Show Mascot

3:52 The Swiss Army Taser

5:02 Max the Cab Driver's Horse-and-Cart Trivia

8:22 Sarah the AI Bot Profiles Matt Baker

11:12 Gymnastics, Ballet

12:13 Attempting the Crab (Slipped Disc Warning)

14:08 Blue Peter, Meg the Sheepdog and the "Stolen" Dog

16:46 The Nuremberg Donkey and the Pork Allergy Origin Story

18:59 Every Blue Peter Presenter Ever

19:53 Countryfile, The One Show and "How Do You Sleep?"

20:45 Banned for Throwing Bread: One Show Memories

23:30 Casting Mary Berry as a Co-Host

25:01 Celebrity Showjumping for Sport Relief

26:03 Gary's Advert: The EPOK Pen for Pork Allergies

27:57 Theme of the Week: Sunken Cities with Dr Peter Campbell

29:11 What Actually Is a Sunken City?

33:01 Debunking Atlantis

34:38 Mapping the Nile, the Tiber and the Thames

36:17 Sonar Scanning the Riverbed

39:03 Where to Go: Baia, Italy

40:37 What Is the Velcro Singing?

43:34 Matt's New Caravan Pet Podcast

46:09 Gary's Joke Corner

48:46 Goodnight from The Harry Hill Show

New episodes of The Harry Hill Show every Monday.

#TheHarryHillShow #HarryHill #MattBaker

"Matt Baker" by Wikipedia contributors, used under CC BY-SA 4.0. Derived from the Wikipedia article on Matt Baker. / This work is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0.

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In the final episode before our summer break, we're joined by Bob Mortimer's co-host, comedy royalty, Paul Whitehouse.

Paul who gets sniffed, interrogated, and thoroughly background-checked by a passive-aggressive AI bot with opinions about Rick Stein—alongside Bat Conservation Trust director Joe Nuñez-Miño for an hour of sketch-show mega-nostalgia, dodgy fishing anecdotes, and enough vampire bat trivia to ruin Halloween forever.

If you've ever wanted to hear a bat expert calmly explain that echolocation is actually a bat's expensive last resort behind perfectly good eyesight, or witness Harry's own AI son get tased with a homemade "Swiss Army taser" made from a nine-volt battery before the theme tune's even finished, listen up.

00:01 – Steve Bartlett's Diary of a CEO

02:47 – Licky Learns the Hard Way What a Taser Tastes Like

03:08 – Welcoming Paul Whitehouse

04:06 – Retirement Pods, Coffins, and the Case for Downsizing Into the Garden

06:04 – A Solemn Tribute to Ted, the Gone Fishing Dog Who Never Cared About Anyone

07:43 – A Heron Impression Decades in the Making, Featuring Isaac Walton

09:08 – Salmon Spearing, Feargal Sharkey, and a Rare Moment of Actual Politics

10:11 – Sarah the AI Bot

11:34 – Harry's Boyhood Fishing Career: Zero Fish, Infinite Trauma

12:22 – Sarah Reveals Paul's Dad Worked for the Coal Board and His Mum Sang Opera, Somehow Producing Paul

13:11 – Les Dennis Gets Decked by Bob Mortimer in a White-Collar Boxing Ring

14:22 – Paul's Mum Left School at Fourteen, Which Somehow Leads to a Welsh Choir Tangent

15:19 – Paul's Mum's Voice Turns Up on a Gone Fishing Recording and Everyone Loses It Slightly

16:33 – Harry Enfield Plays Harry Hill With a Bald Cap and Weaponised Tear Ducts

18:36 – Peter Fincham's Terrible Beatles-and-Stones Covers Band Staring Down Gary Barlow

20:19 – Sarah Digs Up a Punk Band Called The Right Hand Lovers

21:26 – Paul Firmly Denies Ever Squatting, Actually Worked for Enfield Council

22:34 – Five Years as a Plasterer, Which He Genuinely Enjoyed

23:44 – Paul Goes Mute for Five Weeks at School, Returns Speaking Full Mockney

24:59 – Sarah Wraps Up With The Fast Show, Gone Fishing, and Playing Argus Filch

28:39 – Turning Down a Twix on Account of Type 2 Diabetes

29:45 – Defending The Fast Show's Famously Rubbish Title

30:18 – A Clause 28 Joke Delivered Entirely in Character as Loadsamoney

31:19 – Pitching Cartoons to the BBC and Mourning the Death of Sketch Comedy

32:51 – Johnny Vegas Texts Paul About a Whiskey Galore Remake and a Sketch Called Heroin Galore

33:39 – Why Broadcasters Will Fund Any Drama But Basically No Sketch Show

34:44 – A Fake Telethon Called Charity Innovatathon Featuring Trevor McDonald and a Liz Truss Coin Collection

37:40 – Theme of the Week: Bats, With Actual Expert Joe Nunes-Mino

39:04 – What Is a Bat, Actually? 1,500 Species and Counting

39:43 – The UK Has 18 Bat Species, One of Which Is Just Three Individuals Who Might Not Even Live Here

40:32 – Dracula Jokes, and a Firm Reminder That Spiders Are Not Insects

42:18 – Bat Sex Explained: Stored Sperm All Winter, Then an October Decision

43:08 – Maternity Roosts Operate a Strict No-Males Policy

44:02 – Horseshoe Bats Give Birth Upside Down and Catch the Baby Themselves

44:40 – Bats Apparently Need Flying Lessons Too, Courtesy of the UK's Bat Carer Network

45:51 – Myth Busted: Bats Can See Perfectly Well and Echolocation Is Just Expensive Shouting

47:54 – No, Bats Do Not Make Good Pets, Cue the Inevitable Vampire Bat Questions

48:19 – Vampire Bats Snack on Cattle Hooves and, Apparently, Sea Lions

49:14 – Some Bats Live to 41, Which Is Longer Than Most Marriages on This Podcast

50:24 – All UK Bats Are Protected By Law, So Please Stop Trying to Eat Them

52:14 – The National Bat Helpline 54:48 – Gary's Joke Corner

57:00 – Butterfly in Blue Jeans

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