What if you're doing everything you're supposed to do, checking every box, achieving every goal—and still playing the wrong game?

In this episode of the Lowcountry Life Design Podcast, host Benjamin Lee sits down with Dr. Taryn McKenzie, educator, executive coach, organizational leadership expert, and creator of the XQ Factor framework, for a wide-ranging conversation about happiness, success, leadership, purpose, and what it actually means to thrive.

After spending 25 years in the corporate world working with leaders and organizations, Taryn found a new sense of purpose in an unexpected place: the college classroom. Her experience working with students led her to recognize that intelligence and professional knowledge alone aren't enough to build a meaningful life. We also need the communication, leadership, emotional intelligence, resilience, self-awareness, and interpersonal skills that help us navigate life itself—what Taryn calls the XQ Factor.

Together, Benjamin and Taryn challenge some of the messages we've inherited about success. They explore why status, money, titles, productivity, possessions, and external validation can make us feel like we're winning while still leaving us unfulfilled. Taryn explains why happiness isn't about feeling good all the time, but about intentionally developing the skills, relationships, habits, and sense of purpose that allow us to build a life that feels meaningful and true to who we are.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What the XQ Factor is and why IQ and emotional intelligence aren't the whole picture
• Why happiness is a skill that can be intentionally developed
• The difference between comfort and genuine happiness
• Why you are responsible for the energy you bring into your relationships, work, and daily life
• How to "cultivate your people" and build authentic relationships rooted in trust and vulnerability
• Why curiosity, experimentation, and stepping outside your comfort zone are essential to growth
• How confidence developed in one area of your life can become transferable to another
• Why hard work often creates the opportunities that others eventually call "luck"
• How to pursue long-term goals without postponing happiness until you achieve them
• Why constant productivity, external validation, and accumulation may be signs that you're playing the wrong game
• How purpose, connection, freedom, values, and sustainable energy can create a different definition of success

Taryn also introduces three ideas that form a practical framework for creating a more intentional life: own your energy, cultivate your people, and command your success. Rather than waiting for the right job, relationship, accomplishment, or external circumstance to finally make life feel meaningful, she challenges us to recognize the agency we already have to begin creating that life now.

The conversation ultimately comes back to a simple but powerful distinction: most people aren't losing because they aren't trying hard enough. They may simply be playing the wrong game.

Winning doesn't have to mean accumulating the most, staying the busiest, earning the biggest title, or appearing successful to everyone watching. It can mean having sustainable physical, mental, and emotional energy. It can mean authentic relationships. Freedom over your time. Alignment between your values and your actions. And a life that still works when everything doesn't go according to plan.

Because a meaningful life isn't one where you're happy every moment.

There will be difficult days, weeks, and entire seasons. There will be uncertainty, failure, discomfort, and moments when all you can do is hold on and let the storm pass.

The goal isn't a perfectly happy life. It's a life that feels meaningful, connected, and true to you.