Today I have an amazing guest who is a true expert on all things addiction! Duane Osterlind is a therapist who has been working in the field of addiction for two decades and who hosts the podcast The Addicted Mind. We discuss:

- What is sex addiction?

- How do couples repair after betrayal trauma/PTSD?

- What is "deceptive sexuality"?

- What is the role of childhood trauma in eventual sex addiction?

- What's an "intimacy disorder"?

Duane is a great speaker with lots of great ways to understand this issue, and is compassionate and fair to both partners in this discussion. We also discuss the timeline of repair, the changes he has seen in who struggles with sex addiction over the course of his career (hint: changes in age and gender), and how dealing with shame is an integral aspect of healing from sex/porn addiction and the havoc it can wreak on relationships and your life overall.

Here are all of Duane's links!

• Novus Mindful Life Counseling
• The Addicted Mind Podcast
• Shame To Resilience
• Instagram: The Addicted Mind Instagram
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/addictedmindpodcast/

I came up with this funny phrase in a couples session and told the couple it was too good not to use in a podcast! :) Some women feel like the CEO of the home, and they are okay with that, as long as the man acts like the COO or the CTO or anything but the CFO.... The Chief Fucking Officer. If all that your wife feels that you spearhead in the home is related to your spearhead, this isn't going to make her, another three letter acronym... DTF.

Join the Midlife Women's group here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drpsychmom.com/mwg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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For therapy or coaching, contact us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Many guys think that a woman taking care of a man is a turn off to her, and think "The only thing I really want from her is sex, so that will be my only ask." In fact, this makes her feel unloved, devalued, and like a sex worker. Here's how to change the frame and open yourself up to the scary feeling of interdependence, which is particularly hard for workhorse men!

Join the Midlife Women's group here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drpsychmom.com/mwg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Did You Change Each Other's Minds About Anything When Dating? If Not, Red Flag!"

For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

For coaching from DPM, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

For therapy or coaching, contact us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Another rollicking good time and intriguing discussion with my spirit animal from across the pond: the inimitable Laura How! We discuss marriage, gender, how having a child shapes your ability to love, growing up in dysfunctional families, whether I will ever see her husband Russ on an episode, sons vs daughters, relationship skills vs innate compatibility, and so much more!! Leave a comment if you like our idea of recurring collaborations or even a group! And check out our upcoming YouTube and Facebook live:

https://www.facebook.com/share/1Ac7Y8X3mV/ Fri Dec 12 at 11a ET

And follow Laura here: https://www.youtube.com/@LauraHow

And of course, subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Did You Change Each Other's Minds About Anything When Dating? If Not, Red Flag!"

For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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For therapy or coaching, contact us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Dr. Amanda Akers, one of our awesome Best Life clinicians, has a free flowing and often funny discussion with me about the ins and outs of psychoanalytic therapy. We cover myths vs reality, why both of us take a deeper perspective than CBT, our own thoughts about the impact of childhood in adulthood, and I ask her the most common questions I get from clients about this approach, like... how long does it take? Why does childhood matter in adulthood? And why does the therapist client relationship matter so much? Also covered: the idea of a "couple's world," and how therapy cannot create one but only return you to one if it existed! Book with Dr. Akers here:

https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/dr-amanda-akers

Books we discuss:

How To Love Your Daughter: https://amzn.to/3JpMBBc

Psychoanalytic Therapy by Nancy McWilliams: https://amzn.to/47BgHK2

Love's Executioner by Irvin Yalom: https://amzn.to/4hCVnsd

In this episode, I have an awesome special guest: Tehilla Luttig, LMHC! Tehilla is a licensed therapist in South Africa who sees therapy clients internationally and coaching clients in the U.S. and Canada for Best Life Behavioral Health. We discuss infidelity, attachment styles, and much more! Learn about who cheats and why, what people think about infidelity vs reality, and how to recover and move forward.

Learn about Tehilla and book with her here. She works with individuals and couples and even does intensives! https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/tehilla-luttig

Many guys have no idea how women internalize the idea that if you tell a man anything about his penis that isn't positive, you will destroy his self-esteem and his penis will never work again and IT WILL BE ALL HER FAULT! Today's episode discusses the origin of this idea, how it sabotages open communication and connection, and how to get over this myth and move forward (unless you tend to take everything personally, which will also be addressed)!

Join the Midlife Women's group here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drpsychmom.com/mwg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "How Does Your Wife Feel About Your Default Sex Positions?"

For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

For coaching from DPM, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

For therapy or coaching, contact us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Got a comment on Facebook on a post about how a common mistake people make in their 40s is not allotting enough time to foreplay. This guy said: "It's not people, it's women who need the foreplay. Let's keep things accurate if we are going to educate." I always do aim to educate and give accurate info, so here's a deeper dive into what I see in practice in terms of men and foreplay!

Join the Midlife Women's group here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drpsychmom.com/mwg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "The Parenting Long Game... You May Be A Better Parent As Your Kids Get Older!"

For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

For coaching from DPM, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

For therapy or coaching, contact us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠