The coaching industry needs a reset. In this solo episode, Michele draws a line from Jurassic Park's Ian Malcolm, who warned that the park's creators were so focused on whether they could that they never stopped to ask whether they should, straight to today's online coaching space, where follower count and sales skill too often outweigh actual coaching ability. She breaks down what coaching really is (and isn't), walks through two side-by-side coaching demos with the same client, and gives you six questions to ask before you hire a coach. If you've ever felt like you "tried everything and it didn't work," this one will help you understand why, and what to look for next.

Show Notes:

The Coaching Industry Needs a Reset
A Not Managed. Fully Lived. solo episode with Michele Gray Oelking

In this episode:

• Why the Jurassic Park test applies to the coaching industry (and how AI is pouring fuel on it)
• Profit over proficiency: when marketing outranks methodology
• What coaching actually is: the ICF framework, and why the client is the expert
• Coach A vs. Coach B: a side-by-side demo of advice-giving vs. true coaching
• "The go-go crash cycle just got a coach"
• State before strategy: Bruce Perry's sequence of regulate, relate, reason
• The PORTAL Method: Pause, Orient, Regulate, Trust, Align, Lead
• Six questions to ask before hiring a coach
• Where to start if you've been trying all the things and nothing's working

Six questions to ask a coach before you hire them:

1. What's your training, and what code of ethics do you follow?
2. Can you describe your methodology in plain language?
3. How many clients have you actually guided through this specific work? What were the outcomes?
4. How do you know when someone isn't a fit for your work?
5. What happens when my body says no to the plan?
6. In a typical session, who does most of the talking?

Links mentioned:

• Free Autonomic Assessment: maps where you are on the go-go crash cycle and your nervous system archetype. https://pages.souljourncoach.com/guide-1-9114
• Book a free Capacity Consultation: a diagnostic session to map what's draining your energy and what to do next. https://link.flowi.io/widget/booking/UvsQ3VCK5GmeAYlW7Rhe
• Michele on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/souljourncoach/ and Substack https://substack.com/@souljourncoach

Further reading and references:

• International Coach Federation (ICF) core competencies and code of ethics
• Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey, What Happened to You?, for Perry's regulate, relate, reason sequence (the Neurosequential Model)
• Self-Determination Theory (Deci and Ryan): research on autonomy, motivation, and why self-generated answers stick
• Women's Philanthropy Institute, Lilly Family School of Philanthropy at Indiana University: research on women, wealth, and giving