It’s Tony’s birthday and we’re celebrating with THE RIPPER, a movie Tom Savini would give just about anything to forget. What does Jack the Ripper have to do with birthdays? Well, nothing. Seems like there are so few horror movies focused on celebrating one’s special day and we were sure as hell not taking the endurance test that is getting through all 110 minutes of HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. Instead, we’ve decided to watch London’s most famous serial killer slice and dice his way through…Tulsa, Oklahoma. Don’t ask.

“Wait a minute… Who am I here?” THE STEPFATHER tells the story of a madman in search of the perfect all-American family. When they disappoint him, he brutally murders them and moves on to the next. Terry O’Quinn gives a fantastic performance in the titular role and, as always, it’s a pleasure to see Jill Schoelen, this time playing the role of a troubled teenager, who suspects something simply isn’t right the moment her new stepfather enters the family home.

Last week was an in-your-face rip-off of CARRIE. This week, it’s an in-your-face rip-off of ROSEMARY’S BABY. WITCHCRAFT, the 1988 quickie that spawned a whopping 15 sequels (!), tells the story of a new mother, who moves into a creepy old estate owned by her husband’s family. Soon after settling in with their newborn son, our heroin begins to notice something doesn’t seem right—not with her in-laws, not with their mute butler, and not with the centuries-old place they call home. Is she simply paranoid, or are there truly dark forces at play? I think the answer is pretty damn obvious.