Jackie counts down the days to her Paris trip, beams with pride at Clyde’s love of schadenfreude, and gives thanks for hoes in multiple area codes.

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Jackie takes a well earned deep breath following the completion of the Dim the Lights tour, rails against the glorification of tinned fish, and advises against combining bodily fluid colors in an outfit.

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Jackie announces some exciting news (don't worry, she is not pregnant) drops some spicy marital advice and tackles religion (why?).

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