In this episode of The Leaders Kitbag, I want to pick up somewhere most conversations about feedback stop: the moment after someone's taken it on board and actually improved.

I was coaching a senior leader recently. She had a team member whose performance wasn't where it needed to be. She'd tried giving feedback before, nothing really changed, and she'd been putting off having the conversation again. Sound familiar?

We talked through how to approach it. She had the conversation. And when we next caught up, she told me it had gone well; the person's performance had genuinely improved.

But here's the bit I want to focus on, because it's the part most leaders skip.

I challenged her to go further: to accentuate the progress, reaffirm what the person was now doing well, and actively look for the chance to ‘catch them doing things right.’

As leaders, we're naturally wired to focus on what's wrong. That's most of the job: spotting the gap and closing it. Which means it's easy to miss what's going well, especially straight after a difficult conversation.

So put yourself in the employee's shoes for a second. You've been told something isn't good enough. You've taken it on board. You've worked hard to change it. And your boss says... nothing. Or a cursory “thanks.”

What's that likely to do to your motivation? For a lot of people, it's “I did what you asked, and I got zero recognition for it.” That's not a leader building trust. That's a leader quietly undoing the progress they just fought to get.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why a feedback conversation can stall even after it's gone well
• The habit that quietly undoes the progress you've just fought to get
• Why leaders are wired to spot problems rather than progress
• How to reinforce change so it actually sticks
• The one specific thing to do this week when someone acts on feedback you've given them

Ben's Key Takeaway

Most of leadership is spotting the gap and closing it, so it's natural that we're better at noticing what's wrong than what's going right. But if someone acts on feedback you've given them and hears nothing back, you haven't just missed a moment. You've undone some of the trust that feedback conversation built in the first place.

So here's the one thing to do this week: the next time someone acts on feedback you've given them, tell them exactly what you've noticed. Not a generic “well done”, the specific thing they're now doing differently.

A final thought:

Catch them doing it right. That's what makes the change stick.

Want to learn more about how to be a leader?

The expression of interest form is open for the 2027 cohort of my ‘Leader in Me’ programme.

If you're ready to:

• Build confidence and capability as a leader
• Break free from firefighting and become more proactive
• Learn how to inspire your team and deliver results…

Learn more and register your interest here.

If you've ever wondered how to run effective meetings when everyone in the room seems to work differently, this episode is for you.

Some people get energy from a meeting the moment it starts. Ideas come out as they talk, and the room moves with them.

Others need quiet beforehand just to get their thinking straight, and being put on the spot leaves them scrambling to catch up.

In the last episode of The Leaders Kitbag, I talked about internal versus external processing (thinking), and why quiet people in meetings are often contributing more than it looks like on the surface.

This episode builds on that. Because once you understand the difference, you can actually use it, not just to manage yourself better, but to run effective meetings that work for everyone in the room.

External processors think out loud.

Internal processors think first, then speak.

Neither is better, but each one struggles in a different type of meeting, and I share a story from early in my consultancy career about working alongside someone who processes information in the opposite way to me, and what that taught me about running effective meetings that give people the room they need to think.

In this episode, you will learn how to run effective meetings, including:

• The difference between internal and external processors, and why neither approach is better
• Why meetings sprung on people with no agenda or pre-read undermine meeting effectiveness for internal processors
• What internal processors can do to give themselves thinking time before a meeting starts
• Why external processors are genuinely useful for generating ideas, and what they're doing for everyone else while they talk
• A practical way to think about who needs the pre-read and who needs the room, so you can run more effective meetings whatever the mix of personalities

Ben's Key Takeaway

At its heart, this episode is about how to run effective meetings when the people in the room process information differently.

We tend to run meetings as if everyone thinks the same way, but they don't.

External processors think by talking, and having them in the room early is genuinely useful, they generate energy and momentum, and while they're talking, they're buying thinking time for everyone else too.

Internal processors need the opposite. They think first, then speak, and a meeting with no agenda and no warning puts them on the back foot before it's even started. Giving them the outcome, the agenda, and anything to read in advance means they walk in having already done some of the thinking, and it makes a real difference to meeting effectiveness.

If you're running a meeting, think about who needs the pre-read and who needs the room.

And if you're in one, stop trying to think and speak like the person next to you. Play to how you actually process information, not how everyone else seems to.

That's really what learning how to run effective meetings comes down to.

Want to learn more about how to be a leader?

Learning how to run effective meetings is exactly the kind of practical skill we work on inside my 'Leader in Me' programme. The dates for the 2027 cohort are now open, starting in January. There are just 22 places, and the last two cohorts sold out within four weeks.

If you're ready to:

• Build confidence and capability as a leader
• Break free from firefighting and become more proactive
• Learn how to inspire your team and deliver results…

Find out more and secure your place on the programme here.

How to Be Heard in Meetings as an Internal Thinker

Have you ever left a meeting thinking, I didn't say enough?

Maybe everyone else seemed to be talking, and you sat there processing, listening, staying fairly quiet.

If that's you, this episode is about how to be heard in meetings, even if you're not the type who talks the most.

In this episode of The Leaders Kitbag, I look at why quiet, internal thinkers often add more value than it seems, and what to do about it if you want people to actually notice.

In my coaching and leadership workshops, I hear this all the time from people who process internally rather than externally. They worry that the people who speak up a lot in meetings are the ones getting ahead, the ones with their boss's ear.

So, here's a question worth asking: Are they actually getting ahead? Or does it just look that way?

There's a difference between talking a lot and adding value.

Once you understand which type of processor you are, you can work out how to speak more in meetings without changing who you are.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why internal and external processors approach meetings so differently
• Why it's easy to mistake volume for value in a meeting
• A simple approach for how to be heard in meetings without dominating the conversation
• A practical way to speak more in meetings, even if it doesn't come naturally to you
• How consistently applying this approach changes the way people see you

Ben's Key Takeaway

As leaders, it's easy to assume the loudest people in the room are the most valuable, but that's rarely the full picture.

Internal processors think before they speak, and that's not a weakness, it's just a different way of working.

If you're someone who processes internally, learning how to be heard in meetings doesn't mean forcing yourself to talk more for the sake of it. It means allowing others to speak, listening properly, and then pulling the discussion together at the right moment.

That's also how to speak more in meetings without feeling like you're competing for airtime.

Try something like: "If I may, I've been listening carefully to what everyone's said. Here's what I've heard, and here's what I think."

Do that consistently, and you won't need to fight to be heard.

People will start asking for your view sooner, because what you do say carries weight. Not because you spoke the most, but because what you said mattered.

Want to learn more about how to be a leader?

Places are now open for the 2027 cohort of my 'Leader in Me' programme, starting in January. There are just 22 places, and the last two cohorts sold out within four weeks.

If you're ready to:

• Build confidence and capability as a leader
• Break free from firefighting and become more proactive
• Learn how to inspire your team and deliver results…

Find out more and secure your place on the programme here.