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  • 429: Not This

    429: Not This
    2026/07/09
    In this episode the big take away is, you don’t have to know exactly what you want to begin; clarity can start with “Not This.” Betsy explains that naming what you won’t tolerate draws a line, reveals vital self-information, and starts a practical rhythm of change where action creates clarity over time. Another reminder that we don’t have to have every detail figured out. There is power in knowing what you don’t want. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big.  Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. Happy after the 4th. Last week was the Fourth of July week, you know, or before the Fourth of July, I guess, and I took several days off, which was actually , a really welcome rest. And I thought I was gonna take time off from work, but , get all these projects done, and I feel like I just was really depleted. I ended up just resting and going where the g- going where the wind took me, . And yeah, just kind of allowing my body to get what it needed, and I feel so much better coming back this week. You know, I took time off in February when I went to Morocco, but that’s really the last time that I had off. , I’ve gone away for weekends and stuff, but that time in Morocco was so hectic. So I feel like it’s been since Christmas since I’ve just been able to, like, you know, take a nap in the afternoon and chill out. Uh, there was one day where it started… It was a nice day, and then at, like, 2:00 in the afternoon, it started raining, and I was like, “Oh, that’s my cue.” I just, like, stripped down and got in bed in the middle of the day. I was like, “This is perfect. This is exactly what I needed.” So I did get some things done, though, and one of the things that I have been working on is the retreat that we have at the end of this month, at the end of July, , in Belize. So we are going to Belize for the Reimagined Life Retreat, and I’m super excited about it. I have been ordering the little things that I want for the gift bags and ordered a couple things for the first five people, got some special things in their gift bag. So I ordered those things. And when I got the order in the other day, I got it from a company called Huckberry, and , it’s, , one of those companies that sends like You know, you get stuff, and it’s, , wrapped in tissue paper, and then there’s, a little note from the founders and, , a sticker. You know what I’m talking about? And I think it’s, , an outdoorsy company. I actually knew what it was I wanted, and I Googled it, and then I came upon this company, and so I ordered it. And I got this little card inside, and I wanna read it to you because it really got me thinking, as I li- as I like to do. Find a random thing and then overthink it. Okay, so I’m gonna read to you what this little note says that they put inside all their packages. It’s from the two co-founders, and it says We were on a rickety chairlift in Tahoe when we decided to go for it. Looking back, we didn’t know exactly what it was, but we knew what it wasn’t: staring at spreadsheets for the rest of our lives. We quit our jobs, invested 10K each, and vowed to bring Huckberry to life, no matter what it took. And what started as a small shop run out of our apartments has grown into something way bigger than us, a brand that is equal parts store and source of in- inspiration, helping guys like us suck the marrow out of life. I don’t know. I didn’t even look at the rest of the website. Maybe it’s menswear. , But the bags that I got, I got on that site. So here’s… It is a source of inspiration because of this little card that I thought about for a long time. And I actually, , I saved it and put it on my kitchen counter, and I was like, “I’m gonna go back to that.” You know, h- how often do we wait to know what we want before we move? Right? How often do we tell ourselves, “I am gonna really go for it when I know exactly what it looks like,” like, when I have it all mapped out, when everything in the plan is complete and I know exactly what all the steps will be? But these guys didn’t wait for a vision. They waited for the knowing, and that knowing was of what they were not willing to do anymore. And that’s the part that I kept thinking about, because I think a lot of times we don’t know the path, but we do know not this. And I think that is a missing piece for so many of the women that I talk to, you know? They’ll say, “I don’t know what it is that I want.” I hear that all the time, and I kind of hate that we’re supposed to know. I don’t know. I, I have said often when we do, , goal-setting stuff or inside the Navigate method, like, every year I’ll do, , a ...
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  • 428: My Move to the Beach and How to Change Your Mind

    428: My Move to the Beach and How to Change Your Mind
    2026/06/25
    Is Betsy moving to the beach? Inquiring minds want to know. Tune in to get the update, and remember that changing course isn’t failure or indecisiveness it’s just listening to oneself, and that not knowing yet isn’t being stuck. It’s important to remain open as we evolve. Decisions can be amended, updated to reflect our needs and wants as we grow. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hello. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. This is gonna be sort of a shorter show, a shorter episode, and the reason… Well, the reason is ’cause there’s not a lot to talk about with this, but I did wanna give a really important update. You know, I, I had this thought and I wanted to share it with you. It’s kind of a follow-up to an episode that I did a few months ago. If you remember, we talked about how I make big decisions, and I went through, , this whole thought process. And one of the things that I had decided to do in that episode, and I talked about it in the birthday Q&A episode, was moving to the beach, to Florida specifically. And I think in the big decision episode, it was, I was really heavily leaning towards California. Anyway, a few days ago, yesterday maybe, I posted on Instagram that I had come to the realization about the beach and that I felt like I was sort of grieving. And a lot of people messaged me. , I was surprised how many people messaged me and said, “Wait, are you not moving to the beach? What’s happening?” And so I thought maybe we need to do a little update, because I’m certainly not trying to hi- As you know, I tell all the things. And one of the things about this episode, and I think with my social media, and I think just with me in general, is that I tell- things in real time. Like, uh, you know, unless it’s something painful, I wait until I’ve processed those things. But, , if it’s something that I’m actively working on, I think that’s sort of the beauty of this show, right? Is that as things are being in development, w- I share and we talk about them, and I’m noodling through things. And so I wanna talk about this a little bit, … So let’s talk, let’s start from the episode where I talked about big decisions. And man, did I feel like California was the place. In fact, I still do. If somebody came down with a magic wand and said, “There will be no loss, only positive. Where would you like to go?” I would absolutely say I wanna go to California. But there is loss, and there is trade-offs to things. And when I really weighed things from , like, from the place where I am standing, California felt too big. I actually questioned, is it a nervous system thing? , Is it just my nervous system saying I can’t handle that? But I absolutely believe I can handle that. I, I don’t think it was that, and I’m, I’m gonna get into some pieces of this, ’cause it all plays out. But at that time, I, feel like there is one aspect of this that’s financial, and I am d- of the belief, and I stand by this, that financial things work themselves out. I really don’t have a lot of fear. I probably need, I probably need a little healthier amount of fear around finances, and I just believe everything works itself out. I, , it always has, it always does. I just don’t worry about it. , I had a friend that reached out to me, , I don’t know, a month or six weeks ago, and she said, “I have accumulated some business debt, and I’m really stressing out about it.” And I said, “Just don’t look at it.” Just don’t look at it. And she was like, “Well, no, I mean, I…” And I said, “Yeah, I mean, it, it is going to be there whether you look at it or not, but you looking at it is making you feel like crap, and when you feel like crap, you’re not gonna be creating more of it. So why don’t we just not look at it for a little while? Or if you feel like you have to look at it, like, block off 15 minutes every night and think about it. But other than that, don’t think about it. It’s not helping you.” And that’s just been my philosophy, so I just don’t worry about stuff. I know that there are thousands and thousands of people that live in California and figure out the finances, so I know I can too. That wasn’t my worry. There was a little bit of a worry of how I structure my business, some of the ways that I have contractors I couldn’t necessarily have in that way in California. But also there was a point of if I’m making really good s- sound decisions as a 55-year-old woman, it would be a different sound decision financially if I was a 30-year-old woman. , My runway would be different. And when I looked at what I was would be paying in taxes, the ...
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  • 427: Embrace the Process

    427: Embrace the Process
    2026/06/18
    Do you ever wish you could fast forward your life through the hard parts just to get to the good stuff? In this episode of The Art of Living Big, Betsy reminds us that getting forged during the tough times is actually part of our reclamation. Skipping over that part would be a disservice to our growth, resilience and strength. Maybe that is where the saying ‘no pain, no gain’ came from? Enjoy the listen and embrace the process:) Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy P, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show today. I have been doing… I, I’ve been on w- I’ve been on what I call a podcast tour. So I have been on a podcast tour where I am guests on people’s podcasts. I’ll be sharing those so you can listen if you’re interested, but it’s been really fun. We’ve had dozens of them scheduled, and I have been doing, , it feels like a podcast a day. I did one yesterday. I did one this morning, early this morning. And so as I’ve been doing that, there has been something that’s been coming up, and I thought, “You know what? This keeps coming up in all these conversations, and I feel like it’s a really good conversation to have together here on the show.” And I think even if you are , if you’re listening , and you’re thinking like, “I’m single,” or, “I’m happily married,” this, the… I, wanna say it like this, like the, root of what I’m saying can kind of overlap lots of situations even though the dynamic that I’m gonna explain it in is gonna be about your marriage, okay? With a- w- your partnership, your relationship, whatever that looks like. And I’m gonna try and relate back to other things just so you can kinda see how this overlays lots of things, as, as things do. You know? Nothing is in a vacuum, as they say. So one of the things that keeps coming up in these conversations is about what I hear from so many women, and it is that they know that they would like to leave their husband. And they say like, “If, if you could just wave a magic wand. , I just wanna be down the street in my apartment and settled and be through this thing. I don’t wanna have to actually go through this thing. I just wanna be done with it.” And I hear this over and over and over again, and I have said this. I have said this so many times in my journal. When I look back in my journals, it’s, it, , there is c- so often, like these exact words. , “I am so clear that I don’t wanna be here. I’m so clear that this feels terrible, and I don’t wanna go through what I have to go through in order to get to where I wanna be. And if I could just snap my fingers and be there, then absolutely that is what I would do.” And I think, you know, I think this process is hard. Any time you are moving from one place to another place that you wanna be, whether it’s a big move, leaving a relationship, changing your career, it is hard. And being in the middle of it is hard, and deciding you’re gonna step into what you know is gonna be like a little hurricane before you get to where you wanna go is really hard But what I realized when I started hearing this repeatedly is that there is something underneath that wish. There is something that’s really important, and I want to talk about that. You guys have … You may have heard me talk about this earlier in the year, but on January 1st of this year, I woke up and I was, I was mad. I was I woke up, like, big mad, and I don’t ever wake up mad. , I don’t wanna say ever, never, ’cause I did one day on January 1st, but I, I That is not a typical thing. Like, I’m pretty, , springy out of bed and happy-go-lucky. But this year, I woke up and I was mad. And I woke up mad and I thought, “This is really weird,” because I love, , the, the beginning of a week, the first of a month. Give me the beginning of a year, , I’m like, fresh starts. Like, I love all that stuff, you know? I love setting goals and I love, like, all, of what n- New Year’s means. And so it was weird to me that I felt so angry, and the first thing I thought was that I was mad at my former husband. And that was a weird feeling, because I don’t really think about him. And I realized that I was The, the feeling felt so im- , urgent. It felt very urgent, and my instinct really was, like, it’s the first of the year. I have the day off. There’s a lot to celebrate. I need to just put this aside. Like, brush it asi- you know how we do., I’m gonna focus on other things. And then I thought, “No, no, no. Let me sit. I wanna get, I wanna get big, big mad. I wanna figure this out. , Why is this at my doorstep?” And so I sat. Like you may know, I have my, my thinking chair. And so I sat in my chair ...
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  • 426: How to choose yourself

    426: How to choose yourself
    2026/06/11
    On todays episode, Betsy talks about healing, traveling back to her hometown and how to really choose yourself in the face of pressure and old dynamics. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy P, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hello, fellow adventurers. Hi, everybody. I am back home after a long weekend of being in Vermont. That’s where I grew up, in Vermont, and that’s where my dad still lives. He lived for a long time in Vermont and in Florida, and about a year ago decided to sell his home in Florida, and he’s just in Vermont full-time. So, um, he is 85 years old, and weirdly seems really young. And I know it’s not just me. I know it’s not just my bias view, because I saw so many of my friends from high school, and I’ll get into that, but they all were like, “Why does your dad seem so young? Like, he seems just like he did even 20 years ago.” It is a little unnerving. He’s like Benjamin Button, I guess. Rides his bike, goes to the gym three times a week. He’s very busy, and cognitively still really there. I don’t know. I know intellectually 85 is, you know, a- an advanced age, but I guess the older we get, the more young older age seems. And now 85 just doesn’t seem that old to me, but I know cognitively, I know that it, it is. So this past weekend- I went up to Vermont because my best friend growing up, I had a best friend named Heather, and her younger sister was just a year younger, so Linny. So Linny and Heather were my very best friends, and I spent every waking moment with them. Um, if you have been here for a long time, you may remember when my friend Heather’s mom died about five years, four years ago probably now. Um, and I went up to Vermont and just flew in, went to the hospital, and stayed a few days and then left. So I didn’t see anything in Vermont. It wasn’t like a real visit, but I went up for that. My mom and Heather’s mom were very best friends, so our families were very, very connected. And so a few months ago, Heather’s dad, Bob, passed away, and they were having, like, a celebration of life for him. And so I, I, I really don’t go, like, I’m using air quotes, home very often. I hadn’t been since before I was married, except for when, you know, to go to the hospital, when Michelle was in the hospital. So, you know, it’s… I really don’t go. I, I joke that the only thing that will get me to make the trek home is Heather and Linny. Um, but, you know, they needed me, and so of course I was gonna go, and Bob was such an important part of my life. It feels funny calling him Bob. That was his name. But Daddy Oved is what I c- I called him Daddy or Dad or Mr. Oved. Um, but when he passed away and they were having this celebration for him, then I really wanted to go, and it was really beautiful actually. You know, so many people came to the celebration. It was, like, at the legion hall there in the little town where I grew up. And so many of my friends from growing up were there. You know, people whose lives he had touched, and I think really importantly People who find Heather and Linney to be really important. You know, I think it was also such a beautiful example of the impact that they have on the world, you know, and on their, on their world. And so anyway, it was really nice. Um, you know, Heather still lives in Vermont, has lived a couple places, but she’s back in Vermont, and Linney is just outside New York City. So, you know, it was nice to have everybody come and to see so many friends. And, you know, seeing those friends from growing up, it, it’s like a light, nice little reunion, you know? I think that Mr. Ovitt was complicated, like a lot of our dads. Not especially emotional, but you knew that he cared about you. I remember, and my dad was mentioning this, and, and we talked about this a little bit, but when my mom died, Mr. Ovitt was the first one over at the house and just started cooking for everybody. And I remember actually sitting in my family room. Everybody was in the living room, and I had gone to, like, the family room to kinda, like, get away from all the people. I mean, I was, I was stunned. I was stunned and in shock. But I remember looking from the couch and seeing him leaning over the kitchen and, or over the kitchen sink and doing something. And, um, and yeah, it was just, he had an impact on, on all, on all of our lives. And then, of course, my dad still lives in Vermont, and so I made sure that I planned this trip also around visiting him while I was there, and that’s really kinda what I wanna talk about. You know, I think it can be hard sometimes to go back to the place where we were, who we were, and try and keep the version of us that exists today. I think this is ...
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  • 425: How to let Your Anger Go

    425: How to let Your Anger Go
    2026/06/04
    Don’t you just love a quote that sticks and you can replay it for yourself over and over? Well this episode of The Art of Living Big is chock full of them, but here is one that stands out… You’re not gonna forget and you don’t need anger to keep you safe. You already have the thing that keeps you safe, and it’s you. It’s the you who maybe you haven’t been listening to, even when you were talking right over her. So you already know. You’ve always known. Now the work is just how do I trust her? Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. I have a couple quick updates, and then I wanna get into what I’m gonna get into. But I’ve had several people that have reached out to me and asked me about my trip to Florida and, like, what the decision was. And I gotta tell you, I’m in a really weird space with it, and I’m just allowing myself to be here. If you’re new here, thank you for indulging me while I while I give you a personal update. But if you’ve been here for a little while, you’ll remember that I went down to Florida to check it out. We talked about that, I think, on my birthday episode. And, uh, you know, I’ve wanted to move to the beach my whole life, and I have always thought it was gonna be California. And then, , for a lot of logistical reasons, I thought it’s worth checking out Florida, and there were some things I really liked about it A- a- and my thought was, you know, as I’m recording this, it’s early June, like June 1st or 2nd, and my thought was … My lease isn’t up at my place until mid-February, so I could move beginning of February or January, whatever, or I could break my lease and move in August. And the reason I thought August was because I had some time. I have a retreat in July, and then there’s a lot of things going on in the fall, and so I thought, “I have some time.” Well, then I start … And so then I went down, and a- again, the beach is lovely. I don’t know. The trip was quite rushed, if you remember me talking about it, and, and lovely. Like I, I h- I had a good time, but I don’t know that any place made my body go, “This is it.” I think I felt most alive in the, , marina area of St. Pete, but there wasn’t anything that made me, like, really jump for joy. Now, does that mean there isn’t anywhere? No. It just means there isn’t anywhere that I necessarily went that made me feel super alive. So that’s information, and n- you know, I always say my body is an oracle and I do what my body says, even if I don’t have the words for it, even if it doesn’t make sense. And so I really just decided I don’t have to decide and move in August. Like, I was breaking my lease. I just don’t have to do that, so really I have until mid-February before I have to do anything. And honestly, it’s my life, and I can go month to month in my apartment if I want. Do you know what I mean? Like, there’s nothing te- like, this is the beauty and also the drama of it, is that there’s nothing making me do anything. And so I decided that I was just gonna ask the universe to make it apparent, to just show me how can this be easy, how can this be in flow, and just see what happens. , When I started thinking about moving in August, I immediately started thinking, “Okay. Well then, – in November I’m gonna have to come back for Thanksgiving, and in December I’m gonna have to come back for Christmas because my son is here. And, , for whatever reasons, it’s easier for me to travel than for him. And so then I had these ideas of, okay, so this is the, I guess, confusion of, or the next challenge I guess you could say, because as soon as I go down there I’m gonna hardly be settled and I’m gonna have to turn around and come back. And then where do I stay? What do I do with Dean Martin? Do I bring him? Do I… I wanna be with him on the holidays, do you know what I mean? I don’t wanna bring him to a kitty hotel. I have a kitty hotel here that I love. Do I bring hi- Like, it started feeling really heavy, and I was like, “Okay, there’s nothing making me do anything.” Also, I’m going to London, and I’m gonna be posting a coffee get-together when w- I’m in London. I’m gonna be posting that in the next couple weeks. You’ll see that on the website, and I’ll tell you here on the podcast and on Instagram. But I’m gonna be going to London, and so then I was… I thought I was gonna be moving so much. I was so certain that I bought a plane ticket to London from Tampa. I’d already bought the plane ticket. But then I’m like, “I’m not… I don’t think I’m going before that.” So I refunded my ticket...
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  • 424: The Magic you may be Missing

    424: The Magic you may be Missing
    2026/05/28
    In this episode Betsy recounts her trip to Florida and the signs that she experienced while traveling. She explains the ‘put it down’ practice and how it can best serve us in our lives as well as how our brains notice things based on our focuses. This one is a good one if you need a reminder to take stock and choose you. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. I recorded this yesterday, and it was amazing. You missed a really good show. My microphone wasn’t on, and I, if you are new here, I do these podcasts. I come up with an idea, and then I just talk. So the kinda cool thing is this will be a totally different show than yesterday, although the same topic. I s- I’m sticking to the same theme ’cause I do have a story that I wanna tell you, and it may be a story that you heard if you’re on my mail list. But I wanna dive in a little bit deeper, and I wanna give you some tools, as we go through this. I wanna talk a little bit about my, my trip to Florida and something very cool that happened, and I, I’m gonna call it magic. I believe that there’s magic that happens all around us, and I believe you have magic that happens all around you, too. So I’m gonna tell you how to find it and how to use it So I’m gonna tell you how to find it and how to use it so that you can actually make your life easier and, you know, maybe a little bit more fun too. So if you’ve been here for a while, you may know that my whole dang life I’ve wanted to move to the beach, and just a few months ago I got the idea that actually there was nothing stopping me and I could do that. And so this, th- I guess it was last weekend, two weekends ago. Memorial Day was this past weekend. The weekend before, I decided I was gonna go down to Florida and I was gonna look around. You know, if you listen to the episode about how I make big decisions, I really was leaning into California, and in fact, had a trip planned for California for this week that ended up getting rerouted. But I had decided that I was also gonna check out Florida for a lot of different reasons. You know, I grew up on the East Coast. Um, my dad is on the East Coast. He, he … And I’m h- I, I was about to say he’s elderly. I guess he is. He’s 85. I guess, I guess that is elderly. It just feels weird to call him that, but he is. He’s not sick or anything. He’s b- he’s a busy dude. But you know, it just feels good to be here. My son lives here in Atlanta, and so I, I would love to be a, a drive away or a 90-minute flight instead of, like, a whole day of travel, you know? So there’s a lot of things, besides the taxes and all of those things. I don’t have a runway like a 30-year-old. I have a runway like a 55-year-old that’s been divorced a couple times, you know what I mean? So we gotta be using our brains here. So I was like, “I’m gonna just go down to Florida and I’m gonna look around.” Tampa checks a lot of boxes because there’s the big airport, it’s a city, it’s by the beach, and, like, that St. Petersburg area. I’m like, “Okay. Well, this could be a place where I could see myself.” And so I thought, “I’m gonna go down there. I’m gonna rent a car and just drive all over.” And as it ended up, somebody reached out from Instagram, and she lives there, and she was like, “I’ll show you around.” And I had, like, the best w- I had the best weekend with her. So it was like I made a really good friend while I was down there. But here’s what happened. I decided I was gonna go down Thursday night. So I was gonna be here for my coaching that I do. We have the Navigate group on Thursdays, and I n- I never miss it. Like, it is a strange, strange moment if I miss it. Um, maybe once a year I will miss. Like, I, I mean, I, this is, like, my favorite thing ever, so I never wanna not be there. So I, although I have coaches that are amazing, and they would be amazing, but I’m just like, “I wanna, I, I wanna be there.” So I’m like, “I’ll do the coaching, and then- pack up my stuff, and head to the airport. I’ll take a flight that night. I’ll land in Tampa. I’ll just get a hotel right near the airport. That’ll be easy-peasy, and then in the morning when it’s light out, I’ll begin my adventure, you know? The next day, Friday morning, was my birthday. It was my 55th birthday. And here’s the thing. I thought to myself, “You know, I wanna be by the ocean on my birthday. That sounds really fun. And, you know, why not have a little adventure?” So that Thursday morning when I was prepping for the Navigate group, I thought, “I need to go bring my cat to the kitty hotel,” right? ...
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  • 423: Betsy’s Birthday Q & A

    423: Betsy’s Birthday Q & A
    2026/05/14
    Big things are on the horizon for Betsy! A book deal, a beach move, a birthday. Tune in to this Q & A to get to know the woman behind The Art of Living Big and The Navigate Method. With lots of laughs and a few tears, this one is a great one to watch or listen to. Check out the video version on YouTube. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big  All right, I’m excited. I’m excited to do this. I’m excited, and Feels very official. actually am, um, nervous, which is weird, ’cause I d- I mean, I’ve had this podcast for how long? Like 10 years. But I’m nervous, because I feel like we’re not… Yeah, we’re not just ask- can’t believe I’m not nervous, but I’m just excited for it. All right, I’m excited too. Okay, so let’s tell everybody who you are that’s listening. So I’m, I’m Joy, and I am Betsy’s ops person, um, her virtual assistant, go-to person hopefully. And, uh, I Yeah. job. It’s been an honor and a privilege to work for someone so innovative and caring and, , I , I can’t say enough good things about Navigate. I’m an No. member myself. I am Yeah. be working for you now years later after I completed the program. But, , I love my job. Yeah. Oh, that makes me happy. And now you can add podcast host Yeah, a resume. I don’t know about that. We’ll see. So this episode is gonna be a little different than typical. My birthday’s next week, which I wanna say, like, I don’t care, whatever, but I do. I think I do kinda care. I think I’ve always tried to not care, but I think it’s kind of fun that my birthday’s next week. , I’ll be 55, and my birthday is on 5/15, and I feel like the numbers are all, like… I feel like it’s kinda magical, and I don’t know why. I’m not, , a numerology buff or anything , but , it just feels like 55 and then this. So I’m excited to kinda do this. And so I thought what we would do is, , we asked on Instagram just for, , questions of what people had. ready. Yeah, and you’ve got them ready. Okay, and then you had some other ones of your s- your own that I don’t necessarily know all of them, , so yeah. So we’ll… we can just dive in and see where the conversation takes us. I know. I’m excited. Okay. So also I wanna say about 5:15, that’s a special number for you, isn’t it? Yeah, well, uh, uh, I think because it’s my birthday, I always am looking for 5:15. Like, I’m always… I think it’s, like, a message from my mom. I do too, because we post your podcast at 5:15. Yeah. Yes, that’s right, yeah. We post it at 5:15 a- on Thursday mornings. Yeah, yeah. That’s, I like it, and I feel like it feels balanced and also, , I know this is a weird thing, but like 5-1-5, it feels balanced, and it feels like the one is, uh… It’s not a hyphen, but a what would go this way? Do you know what I mean? Up and down. So it feels like 5-5, which feels like a mirroring and- Like, , it’s not infinity, it’s not an eight, but it feels like that to me. Like, kind of chaotic, but also measured, you know? So anyway, I love the 515, yeah. Yeah, I, I like numbers too, but I’m a, I’m an even number person. Yeah. pump gas without ending on an even number. It’s so weird. Oh, really? Yeah. I know it’s weird. I love that. It is weird. So But thanks. love that ’cause it’s weird. Are you ready for your first question? Okay. Yeah, I think so. Okay. ., So this is a question that kind of encompasses everything that you do, so it’s a good starting point, I feel like. Okay. you help women decide whether to stay or leave, and you left. , So looking back, was there a single moment that you knew, or was it a slow build that you only saw clearer in the rearview mirror? Oh, okay. That’s a really good question. I’m so scared right now. Okay. So here’s what I think to answer this question. I wanna, like, zoom way, way out, and I’m gonna start with, like I’m gonna s- I’m gonna start, like, when I’m a kid, and you’re gonna be like, “Oh my God. Is she gonna tell her whole life story?” But for those of you that are listening that are fairly new, so I believe that we are always doing things, our actions are coming from a place of trying to keep us safe. Like, emotionally safe or physically safe, right? And so even if we’re doing things sometimes that is clear that that’s not helpful, it’s because our brains think that it’s keeping us safe, and part of the reason it thinks it’s keeping us safe is ’cause we’re alive, and it’s our, our unconscious mind’s prime directive is to keep us alive. So whatever we’re doing is hypothetically working ’cause you’re alive, okay? So when I was in high school, my mom died in a car ...
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  • 422: She’s in Your Custody

    422: She’s in Your Custody
    2026/05/07
    What if you were given a human being and that human was in your ‘custody’ would you do everything in your power to take good care of her? In this episode of The Art of Living Big, Betsy emphasizes that loving yourself isn’t a feeling but an approach and a job, built through repetitive, practical daily acts. The custody and care of you is up to you, don’t hand that job off. Have a listen and allow the profound message in this podcast really sink in. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big Hi everyone. Welcome to the show Today. I saw something online this week. I saw something and I think it was kind of an old clip. It was something that Drew Barrymore shared. And , I wanna tell you about it and I wanna kind of talk about this. ’cause I’ve been thinking about it and it was like, weirdly not, she had somebody on the show that isn’t somebody that I’m almost embarrassed to say, I don’t even know who this guy is. I guess he’s an actor. I’m gonna say his name and then you’re gonna be like, how does Betsy not know that? But I don’t, , so I saw it and then I thought about it and then it was the kind of thing where I must have, it must have really. Hit something. ’cause I thought about it and woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it. Do you know what I mean? When you’re trying to put something in the appropriate bucket in your brain? So. I was scrolling and I came upon this clip that Drew Barrymoore shared from her show, and it was this guy named Matthew Hussy. . Hussy Hussy, I think. And he said. And I went back to watch the clip and I want, I’m gonna get it as close as I can. But what he said was, imagine that you got handed a human being at the beginning of your life and your one job, like the one job for the rest of your life is to take care of that human. And most of us don’t realize that that’s our job. So we finish being parented. And then we kind of walk out into the world looking for somebody else to show up for us. But the truth is, we are our human. The only person who is here to take care of me is me. And then he said she’s in my custody. The custody word, I think is the part that really stuck with me, you know? I have been thinking recently and , if you’ve been here for a while, you know, I was married for a long time and , decided to leave my marriage, I don’t know, maybe about five years ago. And then after a short period of time, six months or something like that, decided to come back, I had hope that maybe things could change or work out. And then after a couple years I realized that they weren’t, and I had the wisdom to leave. Fully. And one of the things that I have personally been grappling with, I guess you could say, is the idea that I don’t feel, and I bet many of you feel like this too, I don’t feel like any time in my life has there really been somebody that was. Looking out for me or taking care of me. There was, when I was young, when my mom died when I was 16, I think that shifted and I became hyper independent. I know so many of you are that same way. I know we are the same, but hyper independent, which I could go down a whole rabbit hole about why that is really appealing too. , People with different attachment styles really like hyper independence, but I always have been able to do everything on my own. I’ve always been able to, , pay my own bills and do my own thing and make my own decisions and all, all of these things. And I’ve been thinking recently. As I have been packing up a lot of my stuff, I’m gonna get ready to leave to move to the beach in August. So I still have a little bit of time here. , And there’s several really good reasons why I am delaying. I have a retreat that I wanna focus on and some other things I have to give 60 days notice at my apartment. And the timing just worked out really well to, to give it in July and to leave in Midaugust. So when I think about this, as I have been going through old papers and pictures and all of this stuff, I have really been thinking about , is there, is there ever, is there ever a moment where I’m going to meet someone who. I wanna say like wants to, wants, that’s, this is the ideal word, to take care of me. And I don’t think I’m, I know I’m not looking for somebody, I’m absolutely not looking for anybody right now. But I would like to be open to the idea that someday I would meet somebody who could really, truly meet me where I’m at. I’m no longer willing to. Bend or make accommodations for somebody, it has to be right. Okay. So I have been thinking this thought of like, is there gonna be somebody that could take care of me? And then I hear this, the only person who is...
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