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  • 439: Introduction to Joy

    439: Introduction to Joy
    2026/10/12
     You are made of stars. How about THAT? You’re what thousands of women before you held on for. Joy isn’t something that you have to go find. It’s never left you. It’s been right here the whole time just waiting for you to notice that you’re still breathing. So take the joy out of the waiting room. Notice it today, and then do it again tomorrow, and again the next day, and again the next day. What a great listen this week everyone, enJOY it! Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everyone. Good morning. So we’re gonna do the show today , with with a lot of hopes and prayers that Dean Martin can be quiet. Gosh, he’s so chatty today. I don’t know. I don’t know what it is, but there’s nothing that makes me wanna jump right out of my skin more than a c- cat that’s overly talking. So sometimes when I get going, that calms him down. So we’re gonna, fingers crossed for this one. So I’ve been thinking about the show and really what I wanna talk about this week, and, – Years ago, I went and saw a speech by Rob Bell. It was called Introduction to Joy. And so I thought, you know what? Maybe I do my own introduction to joy. I actually think about that talk a lot. I don’t know that I remember specifically what he said, but I do remember him saying, “Life is but a vapor.” And then he sprayed a spray bottle of water, and I remember the lights and the way that it reflected. You could just see the spray and how it just went away, and it left such an impression in my brain. And so I thought, , maybe you have never had a proper introduction to joy. I have been spending some time with somebody, and I think I told you. I, you know, months ago, when I was doing the dating episodes, and I talked about dating, and, and how I had met somebody that was nice. And y- we were talking about things that make you happy, and things that… R- r- like how I see the world. And,, I think it’s been a little challenging for me, because I’m realizing, uh, I, I’m gonna say it like this, but I’m realizing maybe I’m a little weird in the kind of things that I think about. And I don’t know. I feel like if you’re here, you’re probably a little weird, too in the kind of things you think about. So if you were never properly introduced to joy, or if you have thought about all the things, and you wanna hear about all the things I have thought about it, then welcome. Welcome to today’s show. , I bought some tickets to some things that are,, at the Fox Theater here in Atlanta. So there’s this old, beautiful, beautiful theater here in Atlanta, and they have, like, a lot of Broadway shows and things like that that come. But they have a couple different events, well, a lot of different events at Christmastime, but a couple that I really wanna go to, and one of them is Mannheim Steamroller. Steamroller? Is that what it is? You know, they do, like, the Christmas music. They come just once a year, and I never get tickets, and then I’m always sad about it, and so I got tickets. And I was thinking about it, because, , Christmastime, we think about joy. We see the words. I think I have the words, like, in, in little wooden letters that I put on my mantle, or now in my apartment I put by my TV. We sing about it, you know? We see it on greeting cards and coffee mugs, but I don’t think anybody ever sat us down and said, “Okay, here’s what joy actually is.” So- I, I thought maybe this is an opportunity to do that. And, , as I’m doing this, I love the word joy, but also if you have been here for a little while, you know Joy works for me. Joy is her name, and she works for me, so I know as she’s listening to this she’s getting triggered ’cause I ke- I keep saying her name. But I always wished that was my name. Why isn’t my name Joy? It’s so good. It’s so good. So here’s what we’re gonna do. Get you some coffee. If you’re on a walk, keep walking. This one might be a little bit longer, and I think I just have a lot to say. Okay. So here’s what I see in so many of the women that I work with, and I’m gonna say it like this too, I preface everything that I talk about with I am the woman that I worked with, right? I, I once was the version of the woman that I work with. I mean, that’s why I do the work I do. I was talking with Elizabeth, who’s one of the coaches in my program, the other day, and she said something about let this pain that she went through, and I went through, and everyone that works at the Navigate Method has been through. But she said, “Make this pain have meaning.” Ah, and I, I really liked that. I mean, that’s why we do what we do. So I am the version, or once was the ...
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  • 438: Preparing For the Next Version

    438: Preparing For the Next Version
    2026/10/01
     Where are you saying yes when you mean no? Where are you pretending something is fine because it would be really darn inconvenient if it wasn’t? We have all been there. We know exactly the moment that we make these realizations, but what if you didn’t bury them? What if you spent some time designing a plan or asking yourself ‘who am I, who do I want to become?’ It’s pretty exciting to think about… Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hello, fellow adventurers. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. So, uh, it’s October. How is it October already? I swear to God, it just was, like, March, but now here we are I usually get up in the morning, and I love going for a long walk, and I get to see all the kids. I live next door to a school, so the apartment building where I live is next door to an elementary school. And although there are a lot of car drop-offs, a majority of the people, I would say a majority, a lot, many many of the people bring their kids to school on bikes. And so there is a bike bus around here. There’s a ton of bikes that come in where kids are riding their bikes and the parents are riding next to them. There is a, a way bigger majority of bikes with, the kids on the bikes. Do you know what I mean? Like, on the back or whatever. Uh, or, like, even carts that people are, like, pushing in front of the bike. So there is b- bike kids everywhere. I don’t know, there’s something really magical about walking in the morning, and where I walk is, like, a lot of trees and overhang, and it’s so pretty, and it feels good right now ’cause the air is getting a little cooler and all the kids are biking. I don’t know, it’s just happy. About a week ago I was walking and I, I got, like, a little teary because I was like… You know sometimes you’ll look back on your life and you’ll be like, “That time of my life was so cool”? Well, I got a little teary ’cause I was like, “Oh, I, I’m in it. I’m like, I’m in it.” This will be a time that I look back and go, “Oh, that time of my life was so cool.” And I won’t always live in this apartment, you know. I’m thinking now about when my lease runs out, buying a townhouse or something. I know things will change, and life changes as it does, but it’s really fun to have those moments where you’re like, “Oh, this is so good.” So I’m enjoying the chillier air, even though, even though it means winter is coming. But it is October, and as the weather starts to change, I think I start thinking about, you know, like, all the… I think it’s because it’s school time. You know when school goes back in session, then you’re like, “I get to refresh. I get to think about things.” And I’ve talked about this on the show so many times, but I love, I love a good Monday morning. I love the start to a new month. I love New Year’s resolutions,, I really do. And I have a practice that I’ve done a couple times a year for the past many years, and typically I’ll do it around my birthday. I like to do it in May because it’s sort of a reset, you know, for my, my next year around the sun. But I also like to do it at New Year’s time. But right about now is when I start thinking Are the things I put in place in May, are those things happening? But even more importantly, I start thinking about January. Because I don’t believe January starts in January. Like, if we want change for 2027, if you’re like, “I am not living 2027 the way I have lived 2026 or 2025 or 2022,” whatever it is, then I think it has to start now. I think that making shifts right now gets us in position to catapult ourselves forward in January, and we don’t have to. You don’t have to. So everything I’m saying, if you’re like, “Oh my God, I don’t want one more goal,” you don’t have to. This is, this is just me just being honest with who I am. Who I am and what I want. And so I wanna talk about that a little bit today I will say that some of the biggest shifts that I have had in my own life didn’t actually start on January 1st. They started in October or November, probably early October, you know, sitting down with a notebook when I finally let myself be really honest about who I was and what I wanted. And so today I wanna tell you what I’m actually working on right now in the fall so that when January gets here, I am ready for it. All right. So this is what I hear from women all the time, and maybe this is something that you have said, maybe it’s something that you’ve said this week, , is like after the holidays, like we’re already getting into… It’s almost Halloween. I, I said– I’m actually recording this at the very...
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  • 437: 10 Year Anniversary Episode

    437: 10 Year Anniversary Episode
    2026/09/22
    Looks like she made it, look how far she’s come! This episode marks a decade of The Art of Living Big, and in it, Betsy shares 5 things she has learned during that time. Well, let’s say she narrows the many things down to 5 stand outs. She asked me (Joy) to edit some of the ending but as you listen, you will know why I couldn’t. We don’t need to be shielded from emotion, because as we have learned from Betsy, that is where the real connection is made and when we get to see our growth. Speaking of connection, we really hope to see you in Punta Cana in January for the next retreat! Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. Okay, so you already saw the title, so you know. This is a really special show, probably not as special to you as it is to me, but we, you and I, have been doing this show for ten years. Ten years. I mean, ten years is a decade. It’s a whole lot of change. When I started this show, I was in my 40s, early 40s. I had just sold my CrossFit gym. I was married. I owned a house out in the suburbs. I mean, I’ve moved many times. I’ve been to… on lots of trips to many countries, changed a lot , grown a lot. So many things. Ten years of me sitting down with a microphone every week and talking to you. And I’ve been thinking, you know, about what to say for a couple of weeks now because I wanted this to be something good, you know? Something that was worthy of ten years. And I kept trying to write things out or think about, like, this big anniversary episode, and maybe I would have clips from earlier episodes and, and then I ran into all kinds of issues with that. And then I thought maybe it’s an episode where I tell you everything that I’ve ever thought that I never said. And then I thought, you know, I’ve gotten a lot of lessons over the last ten years. Lessons about podcasting or life or business or whatever. And when I really, really sat with this, the only thing that I actually wanted to say is, what I’m about to say, and I’m gonna cry probably when I say it but you, you were never abstract to me. Not once. Not in 10 years. I never sat down to talk, like, to an audience. I’m using air quotes. I ne- I never once pictured a number or a download or a, a abstract person. I, I pictured you. I pictured one person, usually in your car or walking or standing in front of the sink with headphones on because it was the only, you know, 10 minutes that you got to yourself every day. And there’s so many… I’m gonna cry. There’s so many episodes where I wanted to hold your hand when I talked. You know, I wanted to have coffee with you. I wanted to hear what was really important to you. And so in this episode, I thought maybe the best way to do, a 10-year episode , is to say that and to let you know how important it’s been to me that you’ve been here with me. And I wanted to share with you some things that I have learned in the last 10 years, and every single one of these things is actually about you. So I’ve got five things. So my first lesson here we go here. You have to start where you can start. So here’s the thing that I think most of you don’t know is that the first 50 or so episodes on this show were me interviewing people. I just reached out to people I liked, and I interviewed them. That’s all I did. And those episodes don’t even exist anymore. You, you can’t find them. They’re gone. If you went looking right now, and I did, I went to look, the, the archive just starts later after those episodes. And for a long time, I felt kind of embarrassed about that. Like, oh, well, in the beginning of my show, it did exist, but now it’s just gone. And the sound was bad, and I was interviewing people a lot of it was about business, I think I was interviewing other people because I , did not believe I had anything to say. But that’s not actually what was happening. What was happening is that I started where I was really comfortable. I couldn’t start with my own voice yet. I wasn’t there yet. And so I started with somebody else’s voice because that was the door that opened into this podcast room. And so I had to do it like that. I had to sit in that chair like 50 times before I could sit in the chair and do it alone. And nobody tells you that the first version of the thing is allowed to be a bridge. It doesn’t have to be the destination. It’s not even supposed to look like the destination. It’s just supposed to get you up from where you are to where you can see the next step. And so I want you to think about your own life for just a second and where you’re waiting to start until you can start the right way. Because 50 ...
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  • 436: What Do I Tell The Kids?

    436: What Do I Tell The Kids?
    2026/09/10
    Honestly, to announce this week’s episode of The Art of Living Big, we just want to say LISTEN. This one addresses one of the most common questions women ask themselves and ask Betsy. She offers new ways to evaluate this situation; understand what children are actually living in, and how they read tension at home. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show today. Okay, so today, I’m gonna do a show,, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna say it like, like this. Today, I’m gonna do a show that I don’t wanna do. I know. It’s not that I don’t wanna do it, it’s that I know it’s tricky, and sometimes it’s hard to do a show on something that’s tricky because things in life are so nuanced. So we can move forward together and do this show with the understanding that things are nuanced. This might or might not apply to you in your situation. You’re allowed to disagree with me. I’m not the overarching truth of all, of all truths. I’m offering some thoughts and some new perspectives here. So what I wanna talk about is about when you stay in a marriage for the kids, and I get messages, I get a lot of messages about this. And there is this version of one message that I get sort of over and over again, like a couple times, I was gonna say a couple times a week, but sometimes it’s a couple times a day, you know, who, from people on Instagram or, or, you know, people who found the podcast and then they go to Instagram. And they’re, they’re very careful in how they write these messages to me, and I can see,, I can feel all the pain behind it. And what they say is either, like, “I’m ready to go. I, I want to leave my marriage,” or, “I just decided to leave, and now we have to tell the kids,” or, “We told the kids, and it isn’t really what I wanted. It’s not how I wanted things to go. You know, even though I know in my heart of hearts this is the right choice for me, it’s really painful because I don’t know if it’s the right choice for my kids.” And that’s the one that I hear all the time. And, you know, before I go any further, I wanna pause. I wanna pause for just a moment because I’m, I’m coming in here, m- you know, as a, as a trained master coach. I’m coming in here as a podcast host that’s had a podcast for 10 years. I’m coming in here as a woman who actually left a marriage with a four-year-old. So I have done this also, and I know that it’s not easy. I could tell you a, a lot of success stories. I could tell you my own success story. My son’s dad is truly one of my closest friends. It’s not that I talk to him all the time. He’s remarried and has kids that are young teenagers now, but, but when we talk, I know he’s known me, like, the longest of almost anyone I know. He’s known me since I was in my 20s, and so… And he’s the father to my kid. And so, you know, years ago, he was on the podcast, and we, we removed a lot of podcasts that were interviews from early on. We did, like, a lot of interviews, , business people or o- other things that weren’t really relevant, and a lot of those people didn’t even have their businesses anymore, so it just wasn’t relevant. But I did a podcast with him, and I should bring that one back as, like, a special event. He’d probably come on today and talk, but I- I will do that. Th- you’ll see a podcast that will pop up that won’t be at the regular time, and we’ll just put that one in between because I think sometimes when we have evidence that things don’t have to go sideways, even if they start sideways, they don’t have to end sideways, that things can get better and be better. So, but I wanna get back to these messages that I get, right? So, you know, the last part is always like, even though I know, like in my heart of hearts I know this is the thing, I, I feel terrible about it. And so- You know, in those messages, I hear, like, two things sort of that are sitting right next to each other. One is, she knows, and she feels sick about it, and both of those can be true at the same time. They don’t cancel each other out. And, and, and here’s another thing that I wanna say before anything else. I had a lot of… This episode comes to you with a lot of disclaimers. But the other thing that I wanna say is, is guilt is not evidence. Guilt is not a signal that you made the wrong decision. Guilt very often shows up when a woman does something for herself after a prolonged time period of not doing that. So your body does not know the difference between wrong and unfamiliar. It just knows that this is not what we usually do here. So we’re gonna have this talk today about the kids, and I ...
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  • 435: The Thing You Almost Said

    435: The Thing You Almost Said
    2026/09/03
    On this week’s episode of The Art of Living Big, Betsy shares some big news and while doing so, notices her reflex to downplay this news that makes her proud and happy, almost so that it can be smaller. Are you editing your feelings? Are you minimizing your accomplishments to make them more comfortable around others? Betsy shares steps to recognize when we are doing this and advises us how we can turn it around. Also, stay tuned near the end for the announcement of the 2nd retreat! Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. I have had a really busy week. Tomorrow… Well, I’m recording this on a Wednesday. You guys’ll hear it on Thursday. And tomorrow I’m gonna be on NBC. So I did this last year, and I’m recording a couple episodes, doing something live for them for their noontime show. You know how, how cities have, like, their local Atlanta station and then they have, like, a little local show? Whatever. It’s still very exciting, and I’m trying to pick out my outfits, so, that’s my big personal update that I’m doing. But I, I have had this conversation, and in fact, I’ve had this same conversation a couple times with a couple different friends, and I think it kinda came up initially because we were talking about this NBC thing. I know that it’s not- Well, I, I’m about to say something, and what I’m about to say is the exact thing that I’m trying to teach you not to do. Okay? So I noticed that when I was talking about it, I was explaining that, you know, I recognize it’s, it’s not like I’m on Oprah. It’s, it’s the local daytime Atlanta show. Do you see how I tried to make that seem less? Smaller? Just, like, a little bit not as big of a deal? ‘Cause I don’t wanna feel like it’s a great big deal. It’s not that big of a deal. But also, it is, and it’s really fun, and it’s, like, a cool thing that I’m so grateful to be able to do. And I love the host of the show. She’s so fricking cool. And last year when I was on, it was so fun, and it was nice to get the video and to have it for my website, and I’m talking about two different topics, you know, in related to our, our work here. And it, seems exciting. I love to talk about it. We’re gonna talk about when you drop your kids off at college and you have nothing to say to your husband on the way home. And for a recorded episode for later, we’re gonna record a segment on why women are turning to AI. So conversations I really wanna have. So why am I trying to make it smaller? Why am I doing that? And I was talking to this other friend of mine, and we were just, like, catching up, and same kinda thing, and she was talking about some things she was doing and some big trips she was doing, and she tried to make ’em seem a little bit smaller. And a lot of the women that I know are entrepreneurs, because I’ve met them through entrepreneurial groups, and they’re all really successful. Like, I look up to them so much. And this one friend was talking about how she … how much money she makes and what her goal is for the year and some struggles that she was having. And I noticed that she was trying to- Like, uh, dummy it down a little bit, you know? And it was just the two of us. Like, we’re on the same page. We both want her to be wildly successful. And, you know, when she noticed that she’s around people who have less successful businesses or maybe make less money than she does, that she does things to try to make her life sound smaller than it is. She’s not lying, but she’s just not saying it all. She’s, like, editing. You know, trimming down the things she’s getting to do or saying, you know, “It’s not that big of a deal, it’s not Oprah.” I mean, the same things I’m talking about, and it’s so fascinating to me, like, why we do that. And even here when I’m trying to tell you about this and teach you something about it, w- I only te- I always am talking, I am… If you have been here a little while, you know this, but if you’re new here, I am with you on the journey, so I am teaching stuff as I’m learning it or things that I have learned along the way. But this is something that is continuing to come up, and I think a lot of us do this in little and small ways. So I wanna talk to you, and I want you to think about the last time that you, like, almost said something and then you didn’t. And not, I don’t mean something mean, but not something you’d regret, but something that was true. And, you know, maybe it was about how you actually feel about your, about your marriage. Maybe it was about how much money you make or how much you want to make. Maybe it was...
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  • 434: 3 Things I Needed to Know to Redesign my Life

    434: 3 Things I Needed to Know to Redesign my Life
    2026/08/27
     If the following blurb from this week’s podcast doesn’t hook you, the fact that Betsy closes with an easy exercise that could help you make the change you have been waiting for will. Here it is…’You don’t have to have it all sorted out before you’re allowed to claim it as yours. You can be in the middle of the mess and still build something with an intention and a purpose. You already know what your habit list is, so say it out loud.’ See?? Take a listen and enjoy. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. All right, so, so today’s episode is, is sort of, I don’t know, specific, I’m gonna say. Aren’t all the episodes specific? But I got a message on Instagram, and, you know, sometimes I’ll get messages, and they are like other messages that I’ve gotten. So it’s easy to do, like, a podcast episode on them because it’s a really common question or a common thing people are going through, or it’s something that I know from my own life, right? And so when I got this question, though, I was like, “Oh, that’s actually a really good question, and I don’t know if anybody’s actually asked me that before.” And so what it was, it, it wasn’t like a coaching question. It was more like a logistics question. So what she wanted to know was she wanted to know how I did it. So she said, “It seems like you’ve rebuilt your life, and it seems really happy. But it also seems like you’ve rebuilt your whole life. How did you know what to build?” I was like, I mean, I didn’t even know what to say, ’cause how do you answer that? How do you… H- how did you know what to build? So, I kept thinking about it, and I thought, you know what? That likely deserves its own episode because the, the honest answer is that I, I did not know. Like, there was no plan. I think sometimes people look at my life now, and they assume that there was some kind of blueprint, and there was not. But there was about a year of me getting it wrong, I say wrong with air quotes, in a bunch of different directions, and so that’s what today is. So today I wanna name you a couple things. Three things I picked, even though I could come up with, like, 15 things, but three things seems like a good amount for a podcast. I wanna give you three things that I wish somebody had said to me at the very beginning of all that, because I think they would have saved me a little bit of time. And honestly, this is the work that I do, right? I went through something, and I wanna save everybody a bit of time by explaining it. And so, you know, I think that when we make a decision, I remember when I made my decision to leave my husband, I gotta tell you, e- every day over the past couple weeks, I’ve been like, “I’m so glad I did that. I’m so glad I did that.” But I think when we get to that place where we make that decision, at least for me it was not this. Like, I don’t even care what happens. I mean, of course I cared, but I don’t even care. It’s just not this. I was fully, fully 100% on board with just living my own life as a single woman, like, happily forever, and that is great for me. You know, will I be single forever? I, I don’t know, but I… That’s the way I wanted to build my life, right? So it wasn’t like, “I’m gonna leave this big hole here for somebody to fill. I’m gonna do everything but this thing and hope somebody else h-” Like, uh-uh. Like, I was gonna f- build my life. I was gonna make my health the way I wanted. I was gonna make my financial life the way I wanted. I was gonna make my home the way I wanted. I was gonna make my friendships the way I wanted. I was gonna make my activities the way I wanted. Like, I was gonna build my life for me. And so here’s the thing If you are sitting somewhere in your house or in your car, I know you’re in your car. You’re sitting in your car in the driveway, but a lot of you do a lot of thinking in your car, and you may have had this feeling that the life that you’re living was designed by somebody that was a, a younger version of you, somebody that you don’t totally recognize anymore. And maybe it’s not a bad life, you know? That sometimes is the part that can get really confusing, because it might not be that anything is, like, wildly on fire. It’s just that when you look around and you look at your calendar and you look at your house and you look at your weekend plans and your friendships, you can trace every single piece of it back to a decision that you made a long time ago for reasons that were probably good reasons, probably good reasons at the time. But now you’re standing in the middle of this, ...
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  • 433 Are You Open to Abracadabra?

    433 Are You Open to Abracadabra?
    2026/08/18
    In this episode of The Art of Living Big, Betsy encourages listeners facing big decisions to believe in possibility, like the magic in the hat. Say your ‘abracadabra’ out loud and witness how expectation and willingness can build confidence over time. You don’t have to be certain of the outcome, you can focus on what you are sure of at present and speak it out loud. Are you open to that? Try it and watch what you begin to notice. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. I’m excited to be here. I’m also recording it on a Tuesday, and I know that probably means nothing to you, but it does mean something to Joy, who edits these podcasts. So I’m quite pleased with myself. I’m celebrating. That’s, like, the big win. I’m on it, you guys. I am on it. We missed a couple weeks because of Belize and just, like, all the things happening around that, and so I feel really good about being back on track and back with you. All right. So today, I’ve been thinking about this. There’s so many things. I wanna say, I, I feel like we need to have a… Here’s what I really want. I want, like, a, a private podcast where you guys could come in, where I know who’s listening, and I can tell you all kinds of stories. Like, I have so many stories from the last six weeks, probably, crazy and amazing, and, the magical universe continues to unfold in wonderful ways that delight me. And so and so, I, because- I don’t know who listens, do you know what I mean, ’cause we’re not just in a room together. When… This is why we need to have retreats. This is why I do the retreats. So today, I have had something I’ve wanted to talk about, and I’m trying to figure out, like, how can I talk about this? And so I’m gonna say something that might feel… Like, you might be like, “Ugh.” You, you might turn this off, but hang with me, if you would. And if you’re new here, I promise I’ll make it about you at the end, okay? So everything has always worked out for me. I know. I know that some of you made a face. It’s okay. I don’t mean that everything went the way that I wanted it to, because it didn’t, and I have had years that I would, leave notes sometime in my journal that say, like, “Time travelers, do not return to this day,” you know? I, I, I have had years that I wouldn’t sign up for a second time. You know, if you’ve been here for a while, you know the story about me going to school one day, in high school, and my mom dying in a car accident while I was gone. You know, so, it’s not that things went the way that I wanted. Right? It’s not that everything was magical and perfect. You know, that whole deal with my mother, like that did not w- that did not work out, okay? And I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that it did or that there’s some, like amazing silver lining. There are things that have spawned from that that I wouldn’t have had, experiences I wouldn’t have had because that happened. But it sucked, and I’ve had lots of other things that have sucked and I have had decades that sucked in a miserable marriage. And here I am, and my life is good, and I like who I am, and all of those things can be true at the same time, and it took me a really long time to understand that they could be. And, you know, if you’ve been here for a while, I’ve done episodes in the past. You know, a few years ago, I think I did several episodes on magic, and not the kind of magic like, you know, where you’re cooking toadstools or whatever. But the kind of magic where you’re shifting your perspective, the kind of magic that we talk about in A Course In Miracles, right? That a, a miracle is a shift in perspective. But I wanna tell you about a word. Abracadabra. Abracadabra is the thing that you say before the thing appears, right? That’s, that’s what it f- is for. That’s what people do first, right? The, the rabbit isn’t in the hat yet. There’s nothing up the sleeve. The magician has no evidence at that point, and he says it anyway. He says, “Abracadabra,” out loud in front of everybody. And that’s actually the whole trick. It’s not the rabbit. It’s saying it first. And you probably used to be like that, right? You did. There is a version of you who wanted something and just said it before you had any reason to believe that it was coming the word itself, abracadabra, and you know I love w- you know I love the words. If you’ve been in the Navigate method, you know. People will say a word, and I’ll be like, “Let’s get the dictionary.” Like, what does it actually mean, right? But abracadabra stems from a meaning of I create as I speak. And ...
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  • 432: Are You Open to Receiving?

    432: Are You Open to Receiving?
    2026/08/14
    Betsy is back from Belize and back to giving us the advice we can all learn from. In this episode, she wants us to remember that our value is our presence, not our usefulness. Are you doing the work for you and for everyone else? Leaning back doesn’t have to mean becoming less, it allows others to show up more. Give it a try in your life and you might get pleasantly surprised. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hello. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show. I have been missing for a couple weeks. We went to Belize for our retreat, and it was … Oh, my God, it was so great. I, I wish you could have been there. It was this group of people that came together. Some of them had worked with me, but most of them hadn’t. But everybody got along. I- it was insane how awesome it was. It was girlhood, you know? We played in the pool. We did some work on ourselves. We d- you know, had drinks by the moonlight. I mean, it was just such a great, great trip. It, it was so fascinating to me how everybody just bonded, you know? And I think that’s just, … I, I always say, , I attract the best women. Beautiful women, too. But I attract the best women. And so everybody just meshed. A, a, lot of people extended their trip. They had an extra day, and then some people changed their plane flight so that they could stay, and it was just amazing. And I’m so happy that we did that trip, and I’m gonna plan another one. I got a couple things that I’m working on that I’m gonna finalize today. Hopefully today is the day. But I would really like to do something in January, so be on the lookout for that, because you won’t wanna miss it. Just the coming together, and it was like we’d all known each other for 20 years, you know, and it was like our annual girls’ trip. I know that for me, I expanded so much, and I felt so great, and so it definitely made me realize that, , live events, it’s so important, I think, for us to get together live and to have that experience together. So anyway, what I wanted to talk to you today about, though, is I kinda have a, a short little thought, an idea, experiment that I have been running. You know, it’s interesting, because, , in the last episode, I talked about how I had started dating, and I don’t, I’m not gonna be coming in here talking about dating every time. I, have to tell you that I resisted it for a long time, and what I’m recognizing is how much I have learned about myself in the last couple months of doing this, and how much I have grown, really, and how much I was able to notice old patterns and actually shift so that I know I have healed, because I noticed it and was able to move out of it. And so there’s a little lesson in here that I have learned that I think might be helpful for you, and so that’s what I wanted to kinda share today. If you’ve been here for a while, you know that I- tend to say that relationships are a mirror, right? Every single one. Our friendships, our, coworkers, with our kids, you know, with the lady who does your hair, like the person that you’re standing next to in line. All of this is a mirror about how we actually feel about ourselves, and we can learn a lot about ourselves from any one of those experiences. You know, I, I think some mirrors show us things that other mirrors couldn’t show us. And so I think that’s why this experiment has been so important for me on my journey. And you know, I, I have been coaching for years. I mean, 2012. A long time. And I have done the work. I know myself very well. And I noticed when I started dating that there was this pattern that was sort of, I don’t know. I- if you had asked me, “Do you have that pattern?” I would say, “No, I can do, I can do it. It’s n- I’m fine. I’m fine.” But what I recognized was that that pattern was so much in the middle of who I was that I actually couldn’t see it until I had the mirror to show me. , And so I’m gonna talk a little bit about that, because I think that every relationship that I had was old enough that the pattern was, like, already kind of baked in. And so, you know, like when you walk into your living room, like you don’t notice the furniture ’cause it’s just been there. But dating put me in like a brand new living room. You know what I mean? With people who knew nothing about me, , no history, no established roles. Like nobody had an expectation of me that was already in, in place. And I think that created this like blank space. And I watched myself do something within, you know, the first 24 hours of finding somebody, that I liked. Now- I’m, I wanna say, I’m gonna say I liked loosely… I, I, I liked everybody is my point. I ...
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