We've been talking about transactional analysis, which I use to help leaders, coaches and consultants to develop and to lead their people. We've been talking about ego states, transactions and ways that people maintain their own stories instead of being in the here and now. We've talked a little bit about what racket feelings are, but now I want to talk about how you recognize racket feelings.

Rackets and Racket Feelings

Sometimes people show feelings and you think, is this real or not? Probably you've got a gut reaction that leads you to this thought. Perhaps when you see someone get hurt and they laugh, you find it a bit strange. Or instead of showing a scared feeling someone gets angry, or people who should be angry start to cry. You wonder, what's going on here? You might be witnessing the expression of a racket feeling.

We just talked about the five ways people maintain their own stories. , Let’s talk about redefinition first.

Redefinition is when you distort your perception of reality to fit your own reality and your own story. For example, if I ask you a question “when” question and you answer with a “Who” response that’s a redefinition. For instance, I ask, “What time is it?” And you say, “Paul's not here yet.” That's a redefinition in its simplest form.