Do healthy relationships really go through five predictable stages—or has Instagram turned love into another fucking checklist?

After seeing a viral Reel describe the “five stages of long-term love,” Joshua is breaking down why relationship frameworks like this can contain pieces of truth while still being incredibly misleading.

We’re talking about the honeymoon phase, chemistry versus compatibility, relationship conflict, communication and repair, the so-called “villain/victim era,” emotional triggers, healing, conscious relationships, and the dangerous idea that surviving increasingly difficult stages somehow proves your relationship is meant to last.

Joshua also opens up about the differences between his marriage and his relationship with Kai: what it feels like to have your emotions questioned versus being given space to express them, learning to stop hiding pieces of yourself, and realizing that one painful relationship does not mean every future partner will treat you the same way.

Because conflict does not automatically equal growth. Staying does not automatically equal commitment. Leaving does not automatically equal failure.

And healthy love might have much less to do with what “stage” you’re in than whether you can safely, honestly, and fully be yourself with the person you love.

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