The Dudes open on new music from Chuck Timely — which is Role Model, Tucker Pillsbury, in a time-traveling alter ego.

Later, the fellas dissect the Fort Dix report on Sean “Diddy” Combs. Inmate 37452-054, 50-month sentence, low-security New Jersey. Four men from his unit told NBC he pays thousands a month into other commissary accounts for cooks, laundry, a made bed, a cleaned shower, and Chinese-style massages. Curry chicken, pizza, empanadas off a stinger. Hennessy the guards allegedly walk in. A contraband phone, nude photos, a jailbroken tablet running the Netflix doc about himself. One line: “This is not some normal shit you see in jail. This is some rich shit.”

From there it’s George Santos on Bill Maher’s Club Random, pulling the curtain on the uniparty. “They’re all full of absolute shit.” Ryan Zinke, he says, told him Washington is theater and he has one of the best seats in the country. The fight on camera ends in pizza off camera. No fiscal-conservative party left. He calls himself a TRUMPlican.

The guys close on Legacy Media trying to sell outrage over Trump’s alleged affair with his secretary and not finding a buyer. Then SpaceX Starship Flight 14, September 28, Starbase. First orbital shot. Super Heavy V3, 26 Starlink V3 satellites deployed, one engine out, the planned 10-hour lap cut to about three, splashdown in the northern Pacific. About eight minutes in, a pale blue curved streak in the live feed. UFO accounts called it a city-sized mothership. A SpaceX engineer joked that an engine quit and then an alien battle cruiser uncloaked. The boring read is leftover gas from booster shutdown.

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