Despite life circumstances, Bookbarella must holster her laser, put on her big boots, and venture into the world of Gardian to sate our listener's hunger for YA fantasy once more! Seriously, so many people contacted us about this one that we finally relented.

We hope you find some enjoyment in this second edition re-recording of the episode including Pig Pen spin-off romantasy; beer preferences; zodiac eugenics; plot sewage portals; Bookbarella being tortured by Terriblo through profane intervention with her copy of the book; Scribando revealing the dramatic backdrop of this book and its author - and the revelations that ensue.

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes some mention of disciplinary school torture and fantasy-level violence.

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

Scribando continues to get robbed, Bookbarella explains her theatre background, and neither of them are particularly excited to be in this dramatic teenage dungeon. Bookbarella gets so bored that she spontaneously bursts into two separate musicals of her own making: Interior Design: The Musical! and Theft in Montreal.

Today's episode just includes our usual barnyard language.

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

We wanted to tackle at least one book this year that forced one of us to actually do something, so naturally we returned to the cesspool of popular self-help books. The Miracle Morning had a particularly awful stench about it because the back of the book says that "in only 6 minutes a day" you can change your life and offers you improvements in all areas - health, success, body image, energy, stress, money, and personal and professional relationships.

After three spreadsheets, garlic smoothies, meditating, journaling, positive affirmations, and adding more exercise - has Bookbarella become healthier, hotter, less stressed, wealthier, more energetic, and more successful?

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode is all about pulling up those bootstraps!! Tired? Fuck you! Depressed? Nah. Trapped in cycles of poverty? Absolutely not. Struggling with illness or injury? Too bad! Have cancer? NO YOU DON'T!

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

References:

• Fact-Checking 60,000 Thoughts: The Mystery Behind a Misleading Statistic
• National Sleep Foundation's 2025 Sleep in America Poll Results
• Johns Hopkins Medicine - The Effects of Sleep Deprivation
• David McClelland - Harvard Psychology

Lacking the will to choose the book for the final recording of the year, Bookbarella did what her people do in crisis - go to the library to watch the European cut of Twin Peaks on laser disc. While there, she perused the stacks until a ticket for MBTA: The Musical fell out of a book with a particularly terrible title, feeling like a sign from our dark lord of literature.

Which fruits comfort you? How many library cards do you have?

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes domestic violence, ritual spousal murder, and surprise guest, gnostic biblical texts!

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

References:

• Esoterica: Gnosticism - The Apocryphon of John - The Fall of Sophia and Origins of the Demiurge Ialdabaoth

Earlier this season, we tackled a book found in the trunk of a friend's car and things have only deteriorated from there. Friend-of-the-show Laura found The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump lying in a gutter; once again, you really can find terrible books anywhere! Given that this book was literal garbage and had a seemingly feeble premise, our interest was piqued.

Thanks, Laura! Check out her business Chaotic Good Home for help organizing your house or finding cool ass second hand furnishings.

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode is again plagued by current American politics, so maybe choose another of our 250 episodes if you're tired of that right now. We remind you that nothing in this episode should be construed as counsel, advice, or direction by the hosts.

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

References & Resources:

• Srdja Popovic - How to Topple a Dictator
• Dr. Joanne Freeman on YouTube
• Looking for truth in absurdity: Humour as community-building and dissidence against authoritarianism - Umut Korkut, Aidan McGarry, Itir Erhart, Hande Eslen-Ziya, Olu Jenzen, 2022
• Laughtivism: The Secret Ingredient
• Humour in Political Activism: Creative Nonviolent Resistance by Majken Jul Sorensen
• Trump Is a Godsend for Book Publishers. He's Also a Nightmare.
• Trump Powers Boom Time for Book Publishers
• The Impacts of Publishing a Donald Trump Memoir

We've got another live-play episode for you today wherein Scribando is our DM. This was requested by our Patron rootbeercutie, who said, "Okay, so this time I have stuff to talk about because this is bonkers...basically, Blood in the Chocolate is a role-playing horror game inspired by Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. And it's absolutely terrible. Instead of Oompa Loompas, they use "pygmies" (a real race), and it's filled with fat fetish material. Now this wouldn't be bad because I don't want to yuck anyone's yum, but it's just uncomfortable."

Bookbarella must team up with Dee and Jon from the extended Antiques Freaks universe to make it out of the bowels of psycho-sexual racial capitalism alive! There are no good choices in this game and it was rather miserable to play even based solely on the game's rules and structure. Listen as we all struggle to decide if we even should have done this episode!

References:

• Blood in the Chocolate
• Chenier's Tumblr Apology Letter
• Lamentations of the Flame Princess - Base Rules

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode contains some discussion of sexual assault, body horror, child abuse, enslavement, racism, fat fetishism, poisoning, torture, and a bit of homophobia.

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

This week, it was Scribando's turn to dive into the Box o' Books (aka, The Book Hole). He emerged into another episode of READ, wherein he must speed-run the episode so the podcast doesn't blow up.

Once again we're fairly out of our depth with anything from the U.K. and have no real understanding of who Richard Wilson is. Published in 1995 by Michael O'Mara, this book is full of questionable factoids and 1990s-standup-level humor, so be prepared to not find any of the book's content funny.

Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language in addition to some sad excuses for humor from a few decades ago. TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.

Bookbarella is our Dungeon Mistress today as she narrates the first chapter of an interactive story which Scribando must try to survive as the sole player character. Can he make good choices after partaking in the wizard's leaf?

Our Patron Tin submitted this to the show - and, for once, we were actually excited about an author's self-submission: "I'm a long time listener and a recent $10/month Patreon member. I'd like to request a review of my game book, The Archive: Chapter One. It's the first installment of a much larger story, so it's inevitably going to feel incomplete. It should at least be a better gaming experience than Dragonraid, though, lol. Hope you enjoy the story! Thanks for entertaining me through all the boring parts of my day job!"

Resources:

• Download a $2 PDF or a $15 physical book of the adventure (sorry - the PDF was free at the time we recorded this, but inflation is escalating exponentially and aggressively, it seems!)
• Check out Tin's other artistic works as well

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today's episode includes some mentions of dismemberment, death, torture, and liminal horrors beyond your imagination.

TBC is an AI-free production. Audio by Oselka Sound.