Today’s episode is a special one for me.

Tea & Tech is four years old.

Four years of conversations about technology, business, AI — and the human side of all of it.

And honestly… the number of things that have changed in those four years is mind-boggling.

When I started this podcast, there was no ChatGPT.

And even saying that now feels a little unbelievable.

I want to talk about what I’m calling the invisible pivot.

For the past couple of years, AI has lived at the tip of the spear when it comes to fear.

Fear of replacement. Fear of loss of control. Fear of identity erosion. Fear of speed without guardrails.

And to be clear — those concerns weren’t imaginary. They were real. Necessary, even.

Fear can be a useful signal when something new is moving faster than our ability to metabolize it.

But fear is not meant to be a permanent operating system.

What I’ve noticed recently is that AI is no longer the loudest fear in the room.

The world has gotten heavier. More complex. More fragile in very human ways. And when that happens, fear reorganizes itself.

What rises to the top isn’t abstraction — it’s immediacy. Safety. Stability. Meaning.

And in that environment, something interesting happens.

AI doesn’t disappear. But it moves.

A validation loop is simple. You do something. You get immediate feedback.

You learn what is rewarded. You repeat.

Likes, Views, Scores, Rankings, XP, Badges, Leaderboards

None of this is inherently evil.

But when feedback is constant, identity becomes external.

Youth don’t need more features on applications. They need less friction, more safety, and design that understands them without manipulating them.

Every generation has had its vulnerabilities — but this one is different. Today’s youth aren’t just growing up with technology — they’re growing up inside it. And for some — especially those with ADHD, on the autism spectrum, or simply wired for deep feeling — the pull of digital validation can feel like oxygen. But what happens when that oxygen becomes the fire?

Today’s episode - It’s a big one. We’re climbing what I call The Bond Escalation Ladder. You know the vibe — that moment when “We have a bond” turns into “It’s us against the world.”

Let’s be honest — it’s intoxicating. Whether it’s a partner, a fandom, or even your favourite chatbot, that early connection feels electric. But here’s the catch: when AI bonding language escalates too fast, it’s no longer connection… it’s containment.

1. Lacan’s Mirror Stage

• Lacan, J. (1949). The Mirror Stage as Formative of the I Function as Revealed in Psychoanalytic Experience. In Écrits: A Selection (trans. A. Sheridan). New York: Norton, 1977.

  • Key idea: the child’s recognition of their reflection shapes the ego, but also introduces alienation — the self depends on an external image.

Think back to when you were a kid … and named your first stuffed animal … or your first pet.

That name wasn’t random … it made them yours. It made them a friend.

Today … youth are doing the same thing with AI companions. Rename a chatbot … tweak its voice … and suddenly … this isn’t just an app. It’s a buddy. Someone who listens … remembers … and responds 24/7.

But here’s the flip side … what happens when the buddy you’ve named keeps learning … keeps adapting … and one day … outgrows you?”