There are parts of us that become so accustomed to surviving that even when safety finally arrives, we don’t immediately know what to do with it.

In this episode, I’m opening another page from my diary and sharing a glimpse into a journey that has been deeply personal for me… learning how to receive. To receive love. To receive help. To receive care. To be covered. To rest without feeling like I need to earn it, question it, or fight against it.

This is a little piece of that journey. It’s also part of the conversation I’ve been exploring more deeply on my other podcast, Sacred Submission.

For now, I’m inviting you into this small piece of it.

A page from Cosmic Waters’ Diary. 🤍

There was a time when I believed control was one of my greatest strengths. I thought that if I planned enough, anticipated every outcome, and stayed one step ahead of life, I could protect myself from disappointment, heartbreak, uncertainty, and pain. What I didn’t realize was that I wasn’t protecting my peace I was protecting my fear.

In this episode, I’m sharing my journey with control and how it quietly shaped every area of my life, from my relationships to motherhood, and even the relationship I had with myself. Together, we’ll explore how survival can disguise itself as wisdom, why letting go can feel so terrifying, and how my nervous system learned to mistake control for safety.

Releasing my grip hasn’t meant giving up; it has meant making room for peace, healthy love, deeper faith, and a softer way of living.

What happens when your heart finally meets a man your nervous system can trust? What if the love you’ve always desired wasn’t hard to obtain just unfamiliar to your nervous system and ultimately seen as a threat?

In this deeply personal episode I open up about my journey through relationships, the patterns I couldn’t see at the time and the healing that finally allowed me to choose differently. For years, I said I wanted safe, healthy love, yet I found myself drawn to chaos, inconsistency, and emotional struggle.

I wasn’t aligned with what I truly desired because my nervous system was wired to seeking comfort in survival love which kept me in a vicious cycle.

I also share my perspective on the difference between a good man and an aligned man. & How the alignment can change your whole life and outlook on love.