There really is nothing more terrifying than a pack of 17-year-olds who think they rule the world. We map out the ultimate survival guide for sleeping in Grbac’s 1999 Buick LeSabre, breaking down why you have to avoid the rich kid neighborhoods and park near the house where the dad smokes in the garage. The conversation shifts to the pure agony of high school travel baseball tournaments in Virginia, the panic of calling into local sports radio shows just to give the most useless takes, and why Shane Battier is the greatest NBA role player to ever ruin a playoff game. Plus, we drop a legendary story about Matthew Stafford casually slinging free drinks behind the bar at the Greasy Spoon in Athens.

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00:00:50 Drinko De Mayo
00:01:28 Beeeeeeeer
00:03:09 WEIT STOP
00:04:51 INDIANALAND500
00:06:01 Grbac Jersey?
00:08:05 Mothers Day
00:09:22 HUNTY
00:13:17 Mom Flowers
00:17:26 Dog Mom Gifts
00:20:00 Radio Callers
00:25:05 Cubs Call In
00:26:02 Friday Scores
00:31:26 Animal Fries
00:33:58 Buick LeSabre
00:35:17 Favre Mural
00:36:46 Car Sleeping
00:42:30 Winter Shorts
00:45:42 Coach Rants
00:52:08 Bad Practices
00:55:01 Travel Ball
00:57:22 Shane Battier
01:04:15 Steelers 2010
01:06:09 Bible Hoops
01:13:39 Scary Seniors
01:21:39 Gators Orange
01:26:01 UGA Stafford
01:32:43 DISCORD

"We probably drank like 79,000 beers, and when I came home smelling like it, I told my mom we had beer brats." The aftermath of a freezing late-night Taco Bell run from the weed kid's house is a rite of passage we all know too well. We map out a chaotic Pittsburgh draft weekend that started with securing a game-worn Joe Haden jersey and ended with paying a $150 cover charge to leave a Club Enclave and leaving 8 minutes later. The conversation shifts to drafting the best available fictional dogs of all time, from Snoopy to Powerline, before breaking down why schools like Marquette desperately need a Thursday night football team😭

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00:00:49 - Haden Jersey
00:04:00 - Draft Hangout
00:07:18 - Coolest guy?
00:08:48 - Tavon Austin
00:12:09 - Club Enclave
00:14:59 - Wingys
00:16:56 - Draft Reacts
00:17:54 - Bittsburgh
00:19:29 - Late Flights
00:21:14 - Packing
00:23:47 - Rich Eisen
00:25:30 - Lax guys
00:28:45 - Discord
00:31:48 - Snoopy Pick
00:36:17 - Scooby Doo
00:39:22 - Powerline
00:41:12 - IndianaLand500
00:43:10 - Doug from Up
00:45:32 - Blues Clues
00:47:41 - Air Bud
00:52:29 - Taco Bell AFC?
00:58:15 - No FB Schools
01:04:33 - Kids Jerseys
01:09:06 - Hockey Logos
01:13:51 - Sibling Trade
01:19:59 - More NFC AFC
01:22:15 - Grounded

"I thought taxidermy was when you filed for an extension on your taxes." We map out the pure paranoia of sitting on the weed kid's couch in pitch black January weather while his three giant dogs stare you down. We talk about how cowboy hats are just guy makeup, the evolution of high school hydration stations from dirty PVC pipes to the rich kid igloo coolers, and coaches who wear bike shorts with a dedicated dip pocket. We also debate if the new Ravens and Rams uniforms are dripping or tripping before drafting the most football sounding names of all time.

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00:01:08 - Draft Party
00:02:08 - IndianaLand500
00:03:37 - TG Discord
00:05:00 - Draft Nerves
00:08:36 - Ravens Unis
00:10:56 - Brian Billick
00:14:39 - Rams Unis
00:16:45 - Commanders
00:17:44 - Cowboy Hats
00:23:54 - Mike Piazza
00:26:58 - Loft Bedrooms
00:31:56 - Fan House
00:33:33 - Disney Dads
00:36:15 - Tom Coughlin
00:38:28 - Bike Shorts
00:41:42 - Taxidermy
00:45:25 - Water Trough
00:50:49 - Nicknames
00:55:11 - Weed Kid
00:58:51 - Crypto Bro
01:03:46 - Big Dogs
01:04:51 - Paranoid Time
01:11:44 - NFC Months
01:13:29 - Fat Stats
01:18:42 - Every Coach
01:24:27 - Volunteer Guy
01:30:56 - Follow TG bby

"Just smells like your girlfriend broke up with you for the shortstop." We map out the complete origin story of Grbac who follows his girl to college, only to lose her to the baseball house. After recovering from a dark period of sitting alone at B-Dubs, we track his glorious comeback as a TrueGreen manager who finds love doing burpees at F45. We also draft the best available bachelor party locations and break down the pure agony of trying to hold in a laugh while presenting an econ project in front of your homies

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00:02:22 Penguins Hats
00:03:31 Sportz Gurlz
00:04:10 Discord
00:05:53 Coach Quotes
00:06:50 Locker Rooms
00:10:13 IndianaLand500
00:11:51 Water Coolers
00:14:27 Grbac Drip
00:16:36 Sophie & Grbac
00:19:30 Baseball House
00:24:34 Reality Shows
00:27:05 Grad Parties
00:33:04 F45 Romance
00:36:23 Dating Advice
00:39:08 Austin Trip
00:41:18 Limas Sweed
00:43:18 Vegas Party
00:47:49 Wrigley Trip
00:51:15 MSU pod?
00:55:01 Midwest Trip
01:00:57 AFC vs NFC
01:05:17 Baby Names
01:10:44 MLB pod?
01:14:43 Manny Ramirez
01:17:40 Bad Laughing
01:21:15 Church Laughs
01:25:04 Presentashhon

"When I have pizza with me in the car i'm PRAYING for red lights." That's the reality of rushing home with a fresh box before digging into the first slice raw, completely free of ranch. We look back at the glory days of rolling up 7 deep to Mayfest in ur Grandma's old Buick LeSabre wearing baggy Jordan shorts and carrying a styrofoam McDonald's cup. Plus we map out the sheer terror of talking to your middle school gf on a landline from inside a backyard shed while your parents yell at you

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00:01:24 - Live Remotes
00:05:04 - Indy 500 Fest
00:07:58 - The Clubhouse
00:11:26 - Easter Aunt
00:13:20 - Dumb Projects
00:18:45 - First Holiday
00:22:15 - Creepy Bunny
00:27:03 - Summer Vibes
00:28:45 - ATL Uniforms
00:32:59 - Joe Buck Call
00:36:02 - AFC vs NFC
00:39:35 - Car Pizza
00:41:46 - Ranch Obsess
00:47:31 - NBA Shoulders
00:50:48 - Sprint Calls
00:54:47 - Phone Skills
00:59:00 - Shed Calling
01:03:11 - NBA Rumors
01:07:04 - Sixers Mascot
01:09:00 - Mayfest Lot
01:13:35 - IHSAA Rules
01:17:00 - Jim Rome Era
01:20:46 - Quiet Dome
01:25:02 - Jersey Trivia
01:34:42 - Sports Brain
01:37:44 - Endzone Celly
01:45:00 - Forte Take

🎶Now you're just a Grbac that I used to know🎶 We look back at the guys from high school who transitioned from dip spit and white cargo shorts to a clean cut Abercrombie waffle tee. We also break down the pure PTSD of having a kid from St. Pius drop 68 points on your head while your high school girlfriend watches from the stands. Plus we draft the best available shoulders in history and debate if Family Guy and Sam's Club are AFC or NFC.

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00:01:06 - Photo Album
00:01:28 - Charlie Batch
00:02:54 - Boozer
00:05:42 - Reaction Vids
00:08:42 - Shtation
00:12:20 - Work Disasters
00:14:08 - Stadium Food
00:17:19 - Jersey Patches
00:22:42 - NFL gurlz
00:26:11 - Broments
00:28:18 - Draft Day Two
00:30:45 - Best Shoulders
00:34:39 - Iguodala
00:37:34 - Randy Moss
00:40:07 - Swimmers
00:44:23 - The Godfather
00:50:28 - Brady Quinn
00:55:52 - Family Guy
01:02:43 - Drums vs Flats
01:06:30 - Colin Cowherd
01:08:33 - Coldest Name
01:11:58 - Mall Comedy
01:16:51 - Truck Push
01:21:01 - Fitted Hats
01:30:02 - Little League
01:35:45 - CYO Decals
01:42:50 - Luther Head

We draft the best available places to watch March Madness, from sitting on frozen peas after a perfectly timed vasectomy to a high school classroom with a substitute teacher. Plus we look back at a Pittsburgh Steelers themed wedding where Ed Hochuli should have been the officiant and try to pinpoint the exact moment your childhood sports dreams died. Do we talk about Kyler Murray or the best numbers in each sport? NO cuz this isn’t a sports podcast. Do we talk about fumbled lent promises? NO cuz this isn’t a catholic podcast. Do we talk about rich kid basements NO cuz this isn’t a reminiscent podcast 😌

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00:01:22 - Diet and Fat Stats
00:02:18 - Papa Johns Pizza Commercials
00:03:39 - NFL Themed Weddings
00:06:34 - Pittsburgh Steelers Fight Song
00:08:45 - Wedding Cookie Tables
00:11:16 - NFL Referee Ed Hochuli
00:12:55 - Christian Ponder Vikings
00:13:47 - Arch Manning Texas Football
00:14:55 - Elementary School Classrooms
00:18:22 - Celebrity Crush Bracket
00:20:45 - Las Vegas Stadium Swim
00:23:54 - Jake Plummer Broncos
00:25:48 - Big Ten College Bars
00:27:53 - Beefsteak Dinners
00:32:19 - Vasectomy Recovery
00:35:52 - Post-College Buddy Houses
00:37:00 - Awkward Zoom Calls
00:40:45 - Kyler Murray Cardinals
00:43:41 - Best Sports Jersey Numbers
00:48:15 - NFL Jersey Number Rules
00:49:31 - Rich Kid Friend Houses
00:51:00 - Indiana University Basketball Jerseys
00:52:50 - Long Road Trips
00:55:13 - Childhood Sports Dreams
00:59:37 - Co-ed Baby Showers
01:08:19 - Joe Rogan Podcast
01:11:59 - Best NBA Jam Duos

Imagine being at middle school fball practice and watching a kid in full uniform walk off the field while his dad screams at him. We look back at the absolute chaos of kids quitting sports mid-practice and the sheer panic of going to an end-of-the-year pool party when you realize girls are actually showing up. Plus we debate if a Thanksgiving Eve NFL game ruins the best bar night of the year and dream about a fully NFL-themed restaurant with Terry Bradshaw pouring drinks.

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00:00:36 NCAA March Madness Video Game
00:01:51 Spring Break College Basketball
00:03:07 Tyler Hansbrough UNC Highlights
00:04:17 Kenny George UNC Asheville
00:06:03 Best Small Airport TSA Lines
00:10:02 College Football Gameday Towns
00:14:07 Michigan Fab Five Fries
00:17:31 Peyton Manning Hiking Guide
00:22:30 Vince Carter Dunk Contest Card
00:24:11 Ripping NFL Trading Cards
00:26:40 NFL Thanksgiving Eve Game
00:27:16 Blackout Wednesday Football
00:30:16 NFL Christmas Eve Games
00:33:37 Playing NFL Blitz on Thanksgiving
00:35:56 Peanut Butter Burgers Review
00:38:08 NFL Theme Restaurant Idea
00:44:48 Tennessee Titans Throwback Jerseys
00:49:21 Sports Media on Twitter
00:51:57 Playing Chicken in the Pool
00:55:42 Middle School Pool Parties
01:00:07 Meeting Weird Dads
01:02:37 Joey Porter vs Ben Roethlisberger
01:06:48 Danny Amendola Dad Golf Cart
01:09:48 Coach Orgeron vs Dan Campbell
01:15:12 Kid Quits Youth Football
01:18:08 Ritters Frozen Custard
01:19:43 Biggest Sports Trade Deadlines