THE POLITE LIE: Why we pretend we are fine
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THE POLITE LIE: Why we pretend we are fine
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Someone asks, “How are you?” You say, “I’m fine”, sometimes before you’ve even considered the truth.
Inspired by a listener’s question, I explore why honest answers can make people uncomfortable, how “How are you?”... became a socially acceptable greeting instead of a genuine question, and why we often feel responsible for protecting others from our complicated emotions.
I also consider cultural differences, the connection between emotional hiding and loneliness, and the important distinction between privacy and pretending.
In this episode, I’ll share ways to offer an appropriate amount of truth without giving everyone full access to your inner world, how to respond when someone gives you an honest answer, and my simple Pause. Name. Choose. tool for answering without abandoning yourself.
I’ll also tell you the completely random story behind “Manly Sarah” and reflect on the years I spent saying I was fine, until hiding my pain was no longer survivable.
Content note: This episode includes a personal discussion of trauma, emotional isolation, and a past suicide attempt.
Keeping it Real
Jamie Lynn