THE Most Powerful Factor That Limits Girl’s Development
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Limiting beliefs:
“I am responsible for how other people feel” and “I must never disappoint anyone; I am not worthy of attention; I must work to earn it; I am not enough, not important or loveable; I was a mistake
Have I done enough, and am I enough? I’m never enough I am socially awkward, I don’t fit the mold, I’m ugly, not pretty or cool enough; I’m different in a way that makes others not like me I am stupid & won’t have a good future I am behind my peers Everything is my fault; I’m bad,” which lets me believe that there’s the chance that “if I work hard and am good, I will be lovable & loved.
I must be perfect or won’t be loved, “I’m lovable only when I’m doing things well”; if I’m true to myself I may lose love; I must be very good or will be unloved & abandoned again I’m too sensitive, I shouldn’t feel that way; I won’t be loved if I’m angry or not happy; Only certain emotions are accepted & okay to feel & share; showing emotions is a sign of weakness; I must hide and contain my anger, sadness, and grief If I am true to myself I may lose love; If the choice is between “hiding my feelings, even from myself, and getting the basic care I need” and “being myself and going without,” I’m going to pick that first option every single time
I need to seek external approval because I need to feel needed, wanted, and admired = substitute for love. Other people’s needs are more important than mine, I shouldn’t have needs; It’s more important to be liked vs. be myself & set boundaries & speak my truth; Being assertive & setting boundaries is being mean
I can’t trust anyone; there is no one for me to confide in, there is no one who is there for me, I am alone I don’t feel seen, heard, understood, known, validated, I’m not worthy of other’s attention, time, or love I’m never anyone’s 1st choice; I’m not enough, important or loveable; I’ll always be last; I will be forgotten, my friends don’t want me to be around I must never disappoint anyone I’m stuck “I am responsible for how other people feel” and “I must never disappoint anyone I must be a good girl who is: perfect, nice, selfless, follows the rules, always happy, not argue or make waves, wait your turn, only have positive feelings, friendships should be conflict-free with no disagreements, I must be passive & sweet before anything else, don’t stand out, make everyone happy, be the kind of girl that all the parents & teachers like and that other girls want to be I won’t matter or be noticed/loved if there is nothing wrong with me; sick, mental health
Previous related podcasts of Dr. Jordans: Ghosts in the Nursery
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