When something isn't right at work, it's easy to focus on the obvious solution: find a new job.

But if you haven't worked out what's really making you unhappy, there's a risk you take the same problems with you.

Different job. Same feeling.

In this episode, I talk about why it's worth fixing the foundations of your career before automatically reaching for the shiny new job.

Those foundations are the things that aren't necessarily visible from the outside: the Sunday night dread, feeling exhausted and numb, work constantly occupying your head, or that nagging feeling that there must be more to life than this.

I know what that feels like because I've been there myself. I know first-hand how life-changing this work is.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why changing jobs can feel like the obvious answer when work isn't making you happy.
• How easy it is to recreate the same problems in a completely different role.
• What I mean by your career foundations and why they matter.
• Why you need to understand who you are now, rather than who you were when you chose your career 20 odd years ago.
• How to think about what you actually want to feel different about work.
• Why doing the work underneath gives you new information – and helps the decisions about what comes next flow much more naturally.

You might do this work and still decide you need a new job. You might become more certain than ever that it's time to leave.

Or you might discover that the changes you need are about boundaries, responsibilities, where and when you work, or how much of yourself you give to your job.

Either way, you're no longer guessing.

If you're ready to do this work, please do book a free 30-minute discovery call with me.

It's a relaxed conversation to get to know each other, talk about what's happening for you and see whether I can help.

Book your free discovery call: https://tidycal.com/3o42vom/30-minute-meeting

Try my free Career Audit for men in their 40s & 50s: get clear on where you are now, where you want to be and the non-negotiables for your next chapter: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

If you know a man who might need to hear this episode, please share it with him. And don't forget to follow or subscribe to Successful On Paper so you never miss an episode.

This week I'm talking about kindness – but not kindness towards other people. Kindness towards yourself.

Most of the men I coach are good at being there for everyone else. They're supportive partners, good friends and reliable colleagues.

But they often hold themselves to a completely different standard.

They expect themselves to cope, keep striving, have the answers and get things right. And when they don't, they can be incredibly hard on themselves.

In this episode, I talk about self-compassion and why it isn't the same as letting yourself off the hook.

You can be ambitious, driven and want more from your life while still treating yourself with a bit more kindness along the way.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why we often speak to ourselves in ways we'd never speak to someone we care about.
• How self-compassion doesn't mean lowering your standards or making excuses.
• The particular pressures that can build up for men in their 40s and 50s.
• Why this stage of life might be exactly when you need to give yourself a break.
• Some simple questions to help you notice where you're being too hard on yourself.
• Why giving yourself permission to explore a happier, more fulfilling career can be an act of self-compassion too.

Wanting a career that fits you better doesn't make you greedy or ungrateful.

Sometimes one of the kindest things you can do for yourself is admit that something isn't working and give yourself permission to explore what could.

Want to talk it through?

If you'd like some space to think about what's going on for you and what you might need to change, you can book a free 30-minute discovery call with me.

It's a relaxed conversation to get to know each other, talk about what's happening for you and see whether I can help.

Book your free discovery call: https://tidycal.com/3o42vom/30-minute-meeting

Visit my website: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

If you know a man who might need to hear this episode, please share it with him. And don't forget to follow or subscribe to Successful On Paper so you never miss an episode.

Welcome to the fourth episode in my summer mini-series - short episodes each focusing on one thing you need to hear this week that no-one else will say to you.

This week, it’s all about success and whether the definition of success you've been chasing for years actually still fits you.

It's easy to measure success by the obvious things: promotions, salary, the house, the car, how far you've climbed.

There's nothing wrong with any of those things. But the problem is that while you've changed, your definition of success might not have.

What mattered to you in your 20s and 30s might look very different now you're in your 40s or 50s.

Success now might mean having more time with your family. More energy. Looking after your health. Doing work that feels meaningful. Or something completely different.

The important thing is that it's your definition, not somebody else's.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why we can spend decades pursuing success without ever defining what it means to us.
• How an outdated definition of success can leave you constantly striving but never feeling satisfied.
• Why your priorities, values and relationship with work change as you get older.
• My own tendency to measure success by clients and income – and what I've realised matters just as much.
• The questions you can ask yourself today to redefine success for the person you are now.

Want to explore what success looks like for you now?

I offer a free 30-minute discovery call where we can talk about what's going on for you, what you'd like to change and whether coaching could help.

Book your free discovery call: https://tidycal.com/3o42vom/30-minute-meeting

Visit my website: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

If you know a man who might need to hear this episode, please share it with him. And don't forget to follow or subscribe to Successful On Paper so you never miss an episode.