Kylen brought his best friend in. Jake Landel is the head coach of the men's indoor volleyball team at UC Santa Cruz, he has been coaching for close to two decades, and he is the person Kylen calls when he has doubt or emotional anguish. Kenda had been bracing for the worst.

What she got instead is an hour about what a coach is actually building. Jake's answer to "what is the one thing you would put in a kid" is not a skill: it is redefining success so winning is the byproduct rather than the point. Kylen pushes on it with three imaginary players who train identically and want completely different things, and the three of them argue out where intrinsic motivation actually lives.

Also in here: Showtime, the one word Jake gave a high-school team that made them fearless; the time Jake snapped at Kylen for lying, and why Kylen still counts it as the moment they became friends; and the doxxing story, which ends about as badly for Kylen as it possibly could.

Jake Landel coaches at UC Santa Cruz and still plays, air quotes included.

00:00 Cold open: he is not the easiest person in the world
02:33 What Jake actually does for a living
06:29 Kylen on why a mentor is a paid internship
07:34 The time Jake snapped at him, and what it was about
11:06 Two decades of coaching, from a middle-school gym to UC Santa Cruz
12:38 Has the culture around coaching kids changed
16:34 Kenda quit a team because a coach threw her on the ground
18:08 The doxxing story
23:45 The one thing worth putting in an athlete
25:27 Why the focus on winning is the thing that breaks people
29:08 Three players, same work ethic, three different reasons
32:58 Success is not winning
35:06 Coaching a kid whose parents are teaching the opposite
41:01 Kenda's beach team at the YES Program
43:32 Showtime
45:42 Thanks for sitting through this