Have you ever spent so much time waiting for someone else to choose you that you forgot to ask whether you were choosing yourself?

In this episode of Conversations That Heal, I’m talking about the emotional toll of waiting to be chosen, in relationships, friendships, family, careers, and even spaces where we have spent years trying to prove that we belong.

For some of us, this started long before adulthood.

When you grow up believing you have to perform to receive love, attention, or affection, you can carry that same belief into your adult relationships. You overgive. You overextend. You accept the bare minimum. You work harder to prove your value, hoping that eventually someone will look at everything you bring to the table and finally say, “I choose you.”

But I’ve had to confront something in my own journey:

Being needed is not the same as being loved.

And someone choosing me does not determine my worth.

God has already chosen me.

In this episode, I share what I’m learning about stepping back from the need to be needed, recognizing when childhood wounds are influencing adult choices, and asking myself a different question:

“Am I choosing me?”

Choosing yourself doesn't mean you stop loving other people. It means you stop abandoning yourself in the process of loving them.

It means refusing to audition for love.

It means no longer accepting less because you're afraid nothing better will come.

It means recognizing that you don't have to convince someone of your value in order to possess it.

I close this episode in prayer, asking God to give us the courage to release relationships and dynamics that no longer serve us, seek Him before seeking validation from others, and learn how to choose ourselves differently.

Maybe you've spent enough time waiting to be chosen.

This time, choose you. 💙

🎙️ Conversations That Heal Healing One Conversation at a Time.

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