『Stop Sabotaging Your Success』のカバーアート

Stop Sabotaging Your Success

Stop Sabotaging Your Success

著者： Cindy Esliger
無料で聴く

The podcast for ambitious, professional women who are tired of playing small and ready to overcome the invisible barriers that are holding us back at work.2026 Stop Sabotaging Your Success 個人的成功 出世 就職活動 経済学 自己啓発
エピソード
  • 242 - Their Problems Are Not Your Problems

    242 - Their Problems Are Not Your Problems
    2026/10/29

    Cindy Esliger explores the invisible work of managing everyone else's emotions while quietly suppressing our own. Being the steady one at work, smoothing over awkward moments, and absorbing other people's frustrations can become so automatic that we don't even recognize it as work. Cindy explains how emotional labor and the habit of keeping the peace can leave us exhausted, especially in male-dominated workplaces where women are often expected to manage the tone of the room. She examines why we take on problems that aren't ours to solve and how setting boundaries can help us reclaim our time, energy, and peace of mind.

    Managing everyone else's feelings can mean doing two jobs at once: our actual job and the emotional maintenance for everyone around us. Cindy explains how fawning, the stress response that has us appeasing and accommodating others to keep the peace, can drain our mental energy and chip away at our confidence. This becomes particularly challenging when dealing with a coworker or friend who constantly complains and leaves us feeling emotionally depleted. Cindy identifies three types of complaining that are important to distinguish: 1. Venting to release frustration, 2. Problem-solving to seek advice or find a path forward, and 3. Ruminating on the same problems without attempting to resolve them. Recognizing the difference helps us understand when someone genuinely needs support and when we've become a receptacle for their frustrations.

    Setting boundaries doesn't mean we don't care about someone. It means we're willing to advocate for our own needs instead of taking responsibility for problems that aren't ours to solve. Cindy shares seven practical strategies for dealing with a chronic complainer: 1. Empathize when it's genuinely warranted, 2. Redirect the conversation when it starts looping, 3. Be intentional about whether we're venting or looking for feedback, 4. Lead by example, 5. Ask before offering an opinion, 6. Don't be dismissive, and 7. Draw a clear boundary around our time and availability. Cindy reminds us that redirection isn't rejection and that healthy relationships are mutually supportive. We can listen, be present, and care about others without becoming entangled in their emotions or feeling responsible for their outcomes. Their problems are not our problems.

    Key Moments:

    00:00 Introduction: Their Problems Are Not Your Problems

    01:26 The Invisible Emotional Labor of Managing Everyone Else

    04:10 Fawning and the Cost of Keeping the Peace

    05:46 Recognizing When You're Taking On Too Much

    07:01 Dealing With the Chronic Complainer in Your Life

    08:15 Why Setting Boundaries Feels So Difficult

    09:31 Practical Ways to Redirect Difficult Conversations

    10:48 Communicating Boundaries Without Guilt

    12:04 What Healthy and Mutually Supportive Relationships Look Like

    13:25 Three Types of Complaining: Venting, Problem Solving, and Ruminating

    14:49 Seven Strategies for Managing Chronic Complainers

    16:16 How to Hand Someone's Problems Back Without Being Harsh

    17:42 Caring About Others Without Carrying Their Problems

    Resources discussed in this episode:

    • Guide to Releasing What Isn't Yours to Carry
    • Astronomic Audio
    • Confidence Collective

    —

    Contact Cindy Esliger

    Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email


    Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
    続きを読む 一部表示
    19 分
  • 241 - Rebuilding in the Aftermath of your Burnout

    241 - Rebuilding in the Aftermath of your Burnout
    2026/10/22
    In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores what it really takes to rebuild our careers, professional reputations, and confidence after burnout. Burnout isn't just about exhaustion or dreading another Monday morning. It can change how we see ourselves and the people we work with, leaving us questioning our judgment and assuming the worst about others. Cindy examines why returning to work after burnout can be so difficult, whether that means returning to the same job, changing organizations, or starting over in a completely different field. The goal isn't to prove we can survive the same conditions that burned us out in the first place. It's to redefine what good work looks like and build a career that's actually sustainable. One of the biggest contributors to burnout is perfectionism, especially when it's combined with micromanagement and what Cindy calls the myth of control. We convince ourselves that if we work harder, check everything one more time, and eliminate every possible mistake, we can protect ourselves from failure. But that exhausting cycle erodes our confidence and makes us hold on even tighter. Cindy explains how burnout can also lead to cynicism, where we stop giving people the benefit of the doubt and start assuming everyone has bad intentions. While cynicism can feel like hard-won wisdom, it often damages the relationships, trust, and professional opportunities we need to rebuild. Cindy introduces hopeful skepticism as a healthier alternative and offers three ways to challenge our cynical assumptions: 1. Examine evidence before jumping to dark conclusions, 2. Run small behavioral experiments, and 3. Take calculated risks by putting trust in people.Rebuilding after burnout doesn't mean becoming blindly optimistic or pretending that difficult workplace experiences never happened. It means learning to distinguish between real evidence and the fears we've carried forward. Cindy shares three practical habits to help make that shift: 1. Reduce how much news we consume, 2. Make it policy to share the good things we notice about others instead of defaulting to commiserating, and 3. Treat trust like the experiment it is. By letting go of impossible standards, rebuilding self-trust, and choosing hope over cynicism, we can create something sturdier than the career we had before burnout. We don't have to return to the person who burned out. We can become someone who works differently, trusts more deliberately, and makes decisions based on what we know about our own limits. Key Moments:00:00 How burnout changes the way we see ourselves and others01:45 What returning to work after burnout really looks like03:01 Rebuilding professional reputation and trust in our own judgment04:30 Redefining success by prioritizing sustainability over achievement05:52 How perfectionism and micromanagement contribute to burnout07:27 The myth of control and the downward spiral of perfectionism09:04 Why burnout can turn into cynicism at work10:17 Why cynics may be less accurate than they think11:41 The personal and professional costs of cynicism13:05 How cynicism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy14:31 Moving from cynicism to hopeful skepticism16:03 Three practical steps for challenging cynical assumptions17:24 Testing expectations and taking small risks with trust18:49 Why asking for help is an important part of rebuilding trust20:29 How expecting the worst can limit our opportunities21:46 Three habits for replacing cynicism with hope23:23 Building a stronger professional identity after burnout Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Rebuilding Trust, Confidence, and Reputation After BurnoutAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
    続きを読む 一部表示
    25 分
  • 240 - What Healthy Professional Reciprocity Actually Looks Like

    240 - What Healthy Professional Reciprocity Actually Looks Like
    2026/10/15
    In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores what healthy professional reciprocity actually looks like and why the people in our inner circle can either accelerate our growth or quietly drain us. Healthy professional peer pressure raises the bar for what we’re willing to accept for ourselves. The right people notice when we start playing small, hold us accountable for goals we identify, and are willing to risk a little friction instead of pacifying us. Cindy also distinguishes mentorship from sponsorship. A mentor gives advice, while a sponsor spends their own political capital by saying our name in the rooms where decisions are actually being made.Building those relationships requires more than doing excellent work and hoping someone notices. Cindy explains why visibility matters, why feedback should be treated as a gift that we use, and why showing up for others first can serve as both a filter and a magnet. She also examines what happens when being agreeable turns into fawning and makes us the path of least resistance for everyone who needs something done. Reclaiming agency doesn’t require becoming confrontational. It can begin by delaying our default acceptance. Instead of immediately saying yes, we practice disagreement on low-risk issues before the stakes are high, and pay attention to who respects boundaries and who escalates the moment we stop being agreeable.Ultimately, healthy professional relationships have to include reciprocity. Cindy encourages us to audit our inner circles by asking what we’ve given and what we’ve actually received in return, not as a petty scorecard but as an honest gut check. She recommends testing before investing, clearly asking for the support we need, and protecting our energy when someone consistently proves incapable of reciprocating. Healthy reciprocity is a discipline. Give deliberately, pay attention to what comes back, and recalibrate without guilt. Most importantly, stop mistaking being needed for being valued because those two things are very different, and only one helps build the career we actually want.Key Moments:00:00:07 Who Is Actually in Your Corner?Cindy introduces professional reciprocity and asks whether the people in our professional circles are genuinely rooting for us or simply benefiting from what we provide.00:01:32 Healthy Professional Peer PressureA strong inner circle raises the bar, notices when we’re playing small, and holds us accountable instead of allowing comfortable stagnation.00:02:53 Are They Pushing You or Pacifying You?Cindy explains why constant reassurance can create an echo chamber and why people willing to risk a little friction can be valuable to our growth.00:04:13 Mentors Versus SponsorsMentors offer advice, while sponsors use their reputation and political capital to advocate for us in rooms where important decisions are made.00:05:35 Understanding the Real Power StructureCindy discusses how influence doesn’t always follow the organizational chart and why choosing the wrong sponsor can carry professional risks.00:07:04 Building Trust and VisibilityReliability, visibility, and acting on useful feedback help build the kind of credibility that creates stronger professional relationships.00:08:31 Close the Feedback LoopUsing someone’s advice and telling them what happened demonstrates that their input mattered and makes them more likely to give honest feedback again.00:09:46 Become the Support You Want to ReceiveGoing first can act as both a filter and a magnet by revealing who reciprocates and attracting people who value the same kind of professional generosity.00:11:07 Respect Is Social CapitalCindy explores how giving respect first can build influence and why curiosity about difficult workplace dynamics creates more agency than simply waiting to be treated fairly.00:12:49 When Fawning Becomes the DefaultCompliance, over-accommodating, and avoiding conflict can turn someone into the path of least resistance for coworkers who need something done.00:14:11 Reclaiming Agency Through Small BoundariesRather than suddenly becoming confrontational, Cindy recommends delaying automatic agreement, practicing low-risk disagreement, and watching how people respond to boundaries.00:15:40 Audit Your Inner CircleOne-sided relationships create a particular kind of exhaustion. Cindy encourages an honest assessment of what we continually give and what actually comes back.00:17:06 Test Before You InvestBefore committing significant time, energy, or social capital to someone, offer a smaller amount of support and notice whether they reciprocate.00:18:28 Stop Mistaking Being Needed for Being ValuedHealthy reciprocity requires giving deliberately, noticing how others respond, and recalibrating relationships without guilt when the exchange remains one-sided.Resources discussed in this episode:Guide to Building a Circle That Actually Has Your BackAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective—Contact Cindy Esliger Career Confidence Coaching: ...
    続きを読む 一部表示
    20 分
adbl_web_anon_alc_button_suppression_t1
まだレビューはありません