🏒 Are you coaching the players on your bench—or shouting instructions at the players already flying around the ice?

There’s a big difference.

In this episode of Our Kids Play Hockey, Lee Elias and Mike Bonelli tackle one of the most common habits they see in youth hockey: coaches trying to control every decision from the bench.

After more than 50 years of combined coaching experience, Lee and Mike admit they’ve both evolved. The younger versions of themselves yelled more, talked more, and believed they could influence every play as it happened.

Today, they see the bench very differently.

The game is where players apply what they’ve learned. The real teaching happens through practices, preparation, video, repetition, and conversations before and after the action.

🎧 In this episode:

🏒 Why shouting constant play-by-play instructions isn’t really coaching
🧠 Why players—especially younger players—struggle to process tactical information during a shift
📋 How to enter every game with just a few clear points of emphasis
🍩 Why simple code words like “donuts,” “butter,” and “go hunting” can communicate more than a long speech
📝 How Lee and Mike use notes, lineup sheets, and game observations to improve future practices
🔄 Why good bench management includes line rotation, fair ice time, substitutions, and situational awareness
👥 How head coaches can better utilize assistant coaches
⏱️ What to say between periods when you only have a few seconds
😤 Why a coach’s emotional state can quickly become the team’s emotional state
📣 Why parents coaching from the stands can make things harder—not easier
🎯 How the definition of success should change depending on the age and developmental level
❤️ Why youth hockey coaching ultimately includes teaching character, empathy, and life lessons

One of the biggest takeaways?

In-game bench management may be the least effective time to teach hockey.

Save the detailed teaching for practice. Save it for video. Save it for the locker room.

On the bench, manage the environment. Communicate simply. Keep players engaged. Control your emotions. Help them compete.

And then let them play.

For coaches trying to become more effective—and parents wondering what good bench coaching should actually look like—this is a conversation worth hearing.

📖 Want a written version you can reference anytime? Check out our companion blog: How to Coach a Youth Hockey Bench Without Overcoaching the Game

#OurKidsPlayHockey #YouthHockey #HockeyCoaching #YouthHockeyCoach #BenchManagement #HockeyDevelopment #HockeyParents #CoachDevelopment #HockeyPractice #PlayerDevelopment #PositiveCoaching

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