I know everyone loves the Let Them Theory… but I actually think there’s one pretty big problem with telling people to simply “let them” and stop caring what other people think.

It kind of asks us to fight against our own psychology.

Humans are wired to care about belonging, rejection and what other people think of us. For most of human history, being accepted by the group wasn’t just nice — it was tied to survival.

Which is probably why one weird comment can derail your entire day, someone seeming “off” sends you into a spiral, or criticism somehow becomes evidence that you’re a terrible person… hi. Same.

For years, I thought the goal was to learn how to stop caring what people think. But the more I’ve looked into the psychology behind it, the more I’ve realised that advice like “just don’t care” can miss something pretty important: humans are literally wired to care about belonging.

So maybe the goal isn’t becoming someone who doesn’t care.

Maybe it’s becoming much more selective about whose opinions are allowed to carry weight.

In this episode, we’re talking about:

• Why some of us take criticism, rejection and other people’s moods so personally
• The very old survival reason your brain cares so much about what other people think
• How negativity bias can make one negative comment louder than 100 positive ones
• Why telling yourself to “just stop caring” often doesn’t actually work
• The difference between receiving feedback and automatically turning it into a judgement about who you are
• Why disagreement doesn’t necessarily mean rejection
• The problem with giving people who barely know you the same voting rights as the people who actually do
• The simple filter I now use before deciding whether someone’s opinion deserves my energy
• The “mailbox” idea that completely changed how I think about criticism
• How to let something sting without letting it become your truth

And towards the end, I’ll give you the questions I now ask myself when a comment gets under my skin — because I’m probably never going to become someone who magically doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

But I can stop handing everyone a vote on who I am.

Follow Stephing Up

I’m Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that’s messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn’t go to plan. We’ll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning.
So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we’re Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more women.

Let’s Hang:

Stephing Up on Instagram: @stephing.up

Steph Pase on Instagram: @stephpase_

Steph Pase on Youtube: @stephpase.

Shop Planners + Organisation: Steph Pase Planners

Shop Steph’s book “Mastering my Messy Life”: Penguin Books Australia

Steph’s Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com.au/shop/justanothermummyblog/list/17TTU785IMM53

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Before planners and podcasting, I was a wedding makeup artist. I did hundreds of faces, and these are 10 things I’d want you to know to get more out of your everyday makeup, without replacing your entire makeup bag.

This is for you if:

• You want to elevate your everyday makeup look without spending money
• You learnt makeup from a Maybelline mousse pot and a lot of guessing, and no one's ever actually shown you
• You've got a drawer full of products and your foundation still somehow ends up pink, grey, or in your hairline
• You're 30-plus and your face looks tired in a way it didn't used to, and you want an instant lift

Stay til the end for the biggest hack that will save you time and tears

Follow Stephing Up

I'm Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that's messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn't go to plan. We'll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning. So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we're Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more people. .

Let's Hang:

• Stephing Up on Instagram: https://instagram.com/stephing.up
• Steph Pase on Instagram: https://instagram.com/stephpase_
• Steph Pase on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@StephPase.
• Shop Planners + Organisation: https://www.stephpaseplanners.com.au
• Shop Steph's book "Mastering My Messy Life": https://www.penguin.com.au/books/mastering-my-messy-life-9781761349256

Steph's Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com.au/shop/justanothermummyblog/list/17TTU785IMM53

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Last week I shared my whole health journey (the 25 kilo one, if you missed it... it's a doozy). This week’s episode is the part everyone actually asked for: the current routine. What I train, what I eat, and how it sticks... with the reminder that this is what works for ME. It's not a cookie cutter program. Take what fits your life and your brain, then leave the rest.

This is for you if:

• You've restarted the same routine so many times you've stopped telling people it's a restart
• You joined a gym in a burst of confidence and now you can't make yourself walk in
• You're doing everything "right" (the HIIT, the 10K steps, the tiny meals) and feeling worse instead of better

In this episode:

• What changed in the last six months and why the scales went in the bin
• My exact training split and the rest-period mistake that stalls your strength
• What I eat in a day
• How to stay consistent with ADHD and why the gym became my source of peace
• Alcohol, honestly and the book that finally unhooked it
• Gym anxiety and permission to be a beginner
• Where to start after years off the ridiculously-small-first-goal method

…

Episode Links:

Slow-cooked Mexican Beef: watch me make it at https://www.instagram.com/reels/DQBs-k8kgH2/

Shop Health Journals: https://www.stephpaseplanners.com.au/collections/health-diaries

The 2027 Planner Collection is now live, and selling fast! Lock in your favourite planner before they’re gone: https://www.stephpaseplanners.com.au/collections/planners

…

Follow Stephing Up

I’m Steph Pase, your (somewhat) organised bestie in your ears. This podcast is about growth that’s messy, building a life that actually fits you, and what happens when life doesn’t go to plan. We’ll talk mental health, motherhood, business, ADHD and how to stop being such an asshole to yourself.

New episodes drop every Monday morning.
So set your reminder. Pop in your headphones. Because we’re Stephing Up together.

If today's episode helped, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify is honestly the best thing you can do to help us reach more women.

…

Let’s Hang:

Stephing Up on Instagram: @stephing.up

Steph Pase on Instagram: @stephpase_

Steph Pase on Youtube: @stephpase.

Shop Planners + Organisation: Steph Pase Planners

Shop Steph’s book “Mastering my Messy Life”: Penguin Books Australia

Steph’s Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com.au/shop/justanothermummyblog/list/17TTU785IMM53

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.