It was one of the best days I'd had in a long time.

There were balloons, cards, pictures and people celebrating with me.

Then I drove home to an empty house and cried.

Sometimes loneliness doesn't show up on your worst day. Sometimes it waits until something good happens and you realize you don't have the person you want to tell.

In this episode of Stand in Christ, we're talking honestly about loneliness, connection and what it means to admit that you need people without making people responsible for being everything you need.

Scripture: Genesis 2:18

Flawed. Faithful. Standing firm in Him.

I thought being serious about God meant I needed to try harder.

Pray harder. Fast harder. Be more disciplined. Get it right.

And then I ran out of strength.

In this episode of Stand in Christ, we're talking about what happens when determination can no longer carry your walk with God and why reaching the end of yourself may not be the failure you think it is.

You didn't begin this. So why would you be the one to finish it?

Scripture: Galatians 3:3; Philippians 1:6

Flawed. Faithful. Standing firm in Him.

I was at the altar praying when an Elder came over and told me something I wasn't expecting: “Stop trying to restore yourself.”

At first, I thought she had misread me. I was praying, repenting and trying to get closer to God. But eventually I realized there was a difference between repentance and trying to make myself pay for the years I thought I had wasted.

In this episode, we're talking about regret, restoration and what happens when repentance quietly turns into trying to fix yourself.

God never asked you to do His job.

Scripture: Joel 2:25; 2 Corinthians 7:10

Flawed. Faithful. Standing firm in Him.

You can be free and still miss the thing God brought you out of.

Israel had been delivered from Egypt, but in the wilderness they started remembering what they used to have. Freedom was real, but so was the pull of what was familiar.

I know something about that.

In this episode of Stand in Christ, we're talking about what happens when you miss something you've already left behind, why missing it doesn't mean you're going back, and why freedom doesn't always erase familiarity overnight.

Scripture: Numbers 11:4–6

Flawed. Faithful. Standing firm in Him.

I knew Jesus. And I left anyway.

For about seven years, I lived a life that looked very different from the one I'm living now. I didn't leave because I had never known God. I knew Him. That's part of what makes my story complicated.

There's a whole story between leaving and coming back, but this episode isn't about telling all of it. It's about what happened after I came back.

Because returning to God is one thing. Learning how to actually walk with Him again is another.

In this first episode of Stand in Christ, I'm talking honestly about coming back to God, what those early days looked like, and the part of the journey that doesn't always fit neatly into a testimony.

If you've come back to God and found yourself asking, "Now what?" this is where we're starting.

Flawed. Faithful. Standing firm in Him.