This is episode number 202 and you're listening to Soultime, a show that explores the world of unlocking your unique potential. My name is Dr. Katja Makowka, and I’m a teacher at school, a former teacher at universities, and a stress and mental coach, and I’m your host.

Today, we’re diving into something so many of us do without even realizing it: shrinking ourselves to fit the noise around us. You know the feeling - when you hold back your thoughts, soften your words, dim your energy, or avoid sharing your ideas just to keep the peace, fit in, or avoid conflict. It feels safe, right? Until it doesn’t. The truth is, every time you shrink, you give your power away to the noise - the opinions, judgments, expectations, and chaos of the world around you. And over time, that quiet compliance builds up, leaving you drained, frustrated, and disconnected from the person you truly are.

In this episode, we’re going to explore why this shrinking happens, how it silently shapes your life, and what it feels like to finally stop bending to the noise. Because when you stop shrinking, something magical happens: you reclaim your energy, your clarity, and your freedom.

Follow me on instagram for more inspiring, motivational and uplifting content. See you there❤️🫶

http://www.instagram.com/drkatjamakowka

For more ideas to raise your confidence and energy listen to the following episodes:

Episode 100: The power of love and gratitude - a state of being

Episode 105: Fail Forward: How Embracing Failure Can Propel Your Personal Growth

Episode 108: Juggling Priorities in a Busy World

Episode 124: Embrace Growth: Prioritizing Progress Over Perfection

Episode 127: Judgment Detox: How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Strong, Soft, and Unshakable: How to Stay Soft in a World That Wants You Hardened

Today’s episode touches something many people feel quietly but rarely dare to name out loud:

What happens to you when you spend too much time in relationships that make you shrink? The ones that make you second-guess yourself. The ones where you feel too much or not enough. The ones where your softness, your ideas, your honesty, or even your boundaries become treated as inconveniences rather than essential parts of who you are.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth we’re starting with today:

You can be the kindest, most self-aware, most compassionate person in the world - and still find yourself in relationships that are too small for your soul. And it usually doesn’t happen dramatically. It happens in tiny moments - the moments where you dim your light to keep the peace, where you apologize for things you didn’t do, where you pretend something doesn’t bother you just to avoid conflict, where you quietly carry the emotional weight for everyone. We’re unpacking what it actually means to have relationships that allow you to expand, not contract.

We’re talking about the subtle signs that you’re shrinking, why you tolerate it even when it hurts, and how to rebuild the inner strength that makes expansion your new normal. Because the truth is simple: You deserve relationships that feel like home You deserve spaces where your presence is welcomed, not managed. You deserve connections that help you grow, not disappear.

Follow me on instagram for more inspiring, motivational and uplifting content. See you there❤️🫶

http://www.instagram.com/drkatjamakowka

For more ideas to raise your confidence and energy listen to the following episodes:

Episode 100: The power of love and gratitude - a state of being

Episode 105: Fail Forward: How Embracing Failure Can Propel Your Personal Growth

Episode 108: Juggling Priorities in a Busy World

Episode 124: Embrace Growth: Prioritizing Progress Over Perfection

Episode 127: Judgment Detox: How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Strong, Soft, and Unshakable: How to Stay Soft in a World That Wants You Hardened

Today, we’re diving into something most of us have been taught since childhood: that being a “good person” or “compassionate” means being nice all the time, saying yes, fixing things for others, and never causing conflict. But what if that idea is holding you back? What if real compassion isn’t always comfortable - and doesn’t always make people like you? Today, we’re unpacking the myths, exploring what authentic kindness really looks like, and showing how it can empower you without costing your peace.

Follow me on instagram for more inspiring, motivational and uplifting content. See you there❤️🫶

http://www.instagram.com/drkatjamakowka

For more ideas to raise your confidence and energy listen to the following episodes:

Episode 100: The power of love and gratitude - a state of being

Episode 105: Fail Forward: How Embracing Failure Can Propel Your Personal Growth

Episode 108: Juggling Priorities in a Busy World

Episode 124: Embrace Growth: Prioritizing Progress Over Perfection

Episode 127: Judgment Detox: How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Strong, Soft, and Unshakable: How to Stay Soft in a World That Wants You Hardened

Have you ever caught yourself explaining, performing, or pushing - just to prove you’re enough?

Maybe you’ve been the one holding everything together, thinking that if you do more, give more, be more… you’ll finally feel at peace. But here’s the truth: peace doesn’t come from proving. It comes from remembering who you were before you thought you had to.

So in today’s episode, we’ll talk about why we start proving, how to notice when you’re caught in it, and what freedom feels like once you stop. Because when you stop performing for approval, you start living from peace.

Follow me on instagram for more inspiring, motivational and uplifting content. See you there❤️🫶

http://www.instagram.com/drkatjamakowka

For more ideas to raise your confidence and energy listen to the following episodes:

Episode 100: The power of love and gratitude - a state of being

Episode 105: Fail Forward: How Embracing Failure Can Propel Your Personal Growth

Episode 108: Juggling Priorities in a Busy World

Episode 124: Embrace Growth: Prioritizing Progress Over Perfection

Episode 127: Judgment Detox: How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Strong, Soft, and Unshakable: How to Stay Soft in a World That Wants You Hardened

We live in a world that glorifies busyness. A world that rewards “doing it all” - even when “all” leaves us completely drained. Somewhere along the way, we started believing that exhaustion is a sign of worth, and that calm means we’re not trying hard enough. But here’s the truth: Peace is not laziness. Peace is power. And yet, many of us keep trading it away - little by little - for approval, validation, control, or belonging. We say yes when we mean no. We explain what doesn’t need explaining. We take responsibility for emotions that were never ours to carry. And then we wonder why we feel disconnected from ourselves.

Today, we’re talking about a shift that can change everything: Learning to treat your peace like your most valuable currency - because if something costs you your peace, it’s already too expensive.

Follow me on instagram for more inspiring, motivational and uplifting content. See you there❤️🫶

http://www.instagram.com/drkatjamakowka

For more ideas to raise your confidence and energy listen to the following episodes:

Episode 100: The power of love and gratitude - a state of being

Episode 105: Fail Forward: How Embracing Failure Can Propel Your Personal Growth

Episode 108: Juggling Priorities in a Busy World

Episode 124: Embrace Growth: Prioritizing Progress Over Perfection

Episode 127: Judgment Detox: How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Strong, Soft, and Unshakable: How to Stay Soft in a World That Wants You Hardened

Today, we’re diving into something deeply personal for anyone who feels called to help, support, or guide others: the belief that you have to be the healer in every room. Maybe you’re the one who always listens, always understands, always steps in to hold things together. You’re the calm in the storm, the fixer, the encourager - and that’s beautiful. But sometimes, that same gift becomes a weight. Because when your worth gets tied to being the strong one, the wise one, the one who always knows what to say - it can be easy to forget that you’re human, too. You need rest, softness, and spaces where you’re not the one holding everyone else up.

This episode is for you if you’ve ever felt drained from helping, guilty for needing space, or afraid that stepping back means you’re letting someone down. Because you can be deeply loving without being endlessly available.

Follow me on instagram for more inspiring, motivational and uplifting content. See you there❤️🫶

http://www.instagram.com/drkatjamakowka

For more ideas to raise your confidence and energy listen to the following episodes:

Episode 100: The power of love and gratitude - a state of being

Episode 105: Fail Forward: How Embracing Failure Can Propel Your Personal Growth

Episode 108: Juggling Priorities in a Busy World

Episode 124: Embrace Growth: Prioritizing Progress Over Perfection

Episode 127: Judgment Detox: How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Strong, Soft, and Unshakable: How to Stay Soft in a World That Wants You Hardened

Today, we’re diving into something that so many of us struggle with quietly - what it means to heal and still hold boundaries. Because here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone access to the healed version of you. You’ve worked hard to get here - to unlearn patterns, to find peace, to rebuild trust with yourself. But sometimes, the moment you start feeling lighter, someone from your past reappears. They sense your calm. They want back in. And suddenly, you’re torn between your peace and your past. Maybe they say, “You’ve changed,” - and they don’t mean it as a compliment. Or they try to test your boundaries, just to see if you’ll still play the same role you used to. But growth doesn’t mean proving your healing by inviting back what once broke you. Healing isn’t about keeping every door open - it’s about deciding which ones no longer lead to the kind of life you want to live.

In this episode, we’ll explore what it means to protect your healed energy, why guilt shows up when you set new boundaries, and how to move forward with strength, softness, and self-respect. Because peace isn’t fragile. It’s a boundary you fought to build - and you don’t owe anyone the keys to it.

Follow me on instagram for more inspiring, motivational and uplifting content. See you there❤️🫶

http://www.instagram.com/drkatjamakowka

For more ideas to raise your confidence and energy listen to the following episodes:

Episode 100: The power of love and gratitude - a state of being

Episode 105: Fail Forward: How Embracing Failure Can Propel Your Personal Growth

Episode 108: Juggling Priorities in a Busy World

Episode 124: Embrace Growth: Prioritizing Progress Over Perfection

Episode 127: Judgment Detox: How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Strong, Soft, and Unshakable: How to Stay Soft in a World That Wants You Hardened

Today, we’re talking about something that might sound simple, but it’s one of the hardest things to live out: staying soft when life has taught you to harden. To stay kind when it feels easier to withdraw. To stay patient when the world is moving fast. To keep showing up with empathy, even when you’ve been misunderstood or hurt. Because here’s the truth: softness isn’t weakness — it’s a quiet strength that holds everything together when the world feels heavy.

Follow me on instagram for more inspiring, motivational and uplifting content. See you there❤️🫶

http://www.instagram.com/drkatjamakowka

For more ideas to raise your confidence and energy listen to the following episodes:

Episode 100: The power of love and gratitude - a state of being

Episode 105: Fail Forward: How Embracing Failure Can Propel Your Personal Growth

Episode 108: Juggling Priorities in a Busy World

Episode 124: Embrace Growth: Prioritizing Progress Over Perfection

Episode 127: Judgment Detox: How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Strong, Soft, and Unshakable: How to Stay Soft in a World That Wants You Hardened