He opened again and did not follow through,

he opened and revealed, denied parts of it, cut and run,

shakti awakened with no consummation smoke and mirrors,

he is in control, he is the master. I bow to him,

my system gets frantic when it starts to feel him

slipping away again, I just want to be close to him.

smoke and mirrors, Mirror-Like Wisdom, Vajra family,

I see through a glass darkly, I see through a glass clearly

only love, which has no meaning, only sound.

I see reflected in him my deepest polarizations

and the brilliance of 1000 candles

floating down the Ganges

Mother-Father Creator God, give us what we need this day

in nourishment and wisdom for each next step

of this human life,

with what is ours to do within the sacred circle,

earth beneath our feet and earth elements within the body animated by your Love, by my Love.

Help me with the death fields that want to move upon me

and separate me from you. help me reclaim the peacefulness

I felt before I saw that which had been taken from me.

When I nurture myself as the loved one, lovable and loving,

then my loved ones gather close around me.

If I indulge separation, I feel desolate,

looking around with these eyes I am all alone

Do the dakini tantras and then do nothing,

Sahaja, spontaneous wisdom

Cultivate bliss and sexual energy to balance feminine intuition

and masculine intellect in the union of polarities

We have the same wound. the wanting to put a piece of chocolate

in the mouth because of anxiety, emotion or a desire frustrated,

the wanting to have sex . It is the same oral impulse.

Patience, patience, the healing progresses,

we foster intentional nourishment in the anguish of core wounds,

not being seen or acknowledged and at once being violated,

the impulse to be invisible is strong.

The master came to me in the cave, while sitting in meditation.

We vibrated together, swam in the ocean of love

and torrents of karma, shame, fear and conflicted emotion

poured out of me, and off me, like a monsoon rain.

If there is no self, then where does the wanting come from,

the motivation for anything, the prayer for more life?

There may be no self on the level of the Absolute, but way in deep,

so close to the no thing of God, there is an oversoul,

the fractal which manifests down along the chain of density from

the very subtle finally into the human self, which must be considered

and navigated through, it’s profound captaincy on the relative level.

Dried brown pointed leaf, poked me through an opening

in the sandal of my left foot, as I danced upon the body of the Mother in the fading evening light, stay awake! Eight offering goddesses,

all dancing beautifully, we offer to the protectors

to send back the negative energies, to keep the way open

for sustenance and wisdom and fruition of deepest desires.