I possess the slow seeing of Owl, measured turning of the head Medicine of discernment, wisdom, and destroying deception

Truth of the Garden, Truth of the hell realms

lighting the way through death with shared Light and cultivation

to liberate the suffering ones, following Yeshua and Magdalena

but he has forgotten, or maybe not

yet he is choosing something else

in this moment of eternity and I am grieving

I pray to be shown the highest good that is in this

I especially pray to know my own happiness

the Causes of Happiness, and my deepest desires fulfilled

one part leaking energies and one part pristine absolute Truth

tantric, shamanic, and indigenous

we travel into the celestial realms through my voice,

then root into the body of the Mother, fingers touching lightly,

sinking bare toes into warm sand, sun kissing shining faces

man and woman on this earth walk, witnessed by the medicines,

creatures, angels and other humans in the light of day

letting go of him from ceremony, from the womb of purification

I took him in so deeply with the spoken prayer

the smoke, earth and sky, grandfather Tabaquito

letting go of him from traveling

through astral realms and the underworld,

where I already knew him

we have been there before many times together

he does not want to do this with me now

Master Alchemist, I am assigned the task of transmuting

every elemental energy and emotion without judgment or reactivity,

Sacred Neutral, every step I take is leading to my happiness

I practice as the yidam even though I feel like an undeveloped fetus

like a raw peeled shrimp from the lower realms

the alchemical centers are the glands of the endocrine system

the chakras, they are the autonomic foci of the nervous system

portals from the subtle dimensions into the physical body

fusion of sun and moon in each one

Master Alchemist, the knowing of this

the need to balance it with development of the human

the paradox of needing to practice in these profound secret ways

just to tolerate being in this body

and in contact with other humans and form

forgiveness of the looking forward to new sweaters and crystals

and things that I don’t even really want