the explosive force for my awakening, for my Ascension,

I experienced it with my lover. Can I bear it, let alone accomplish it, without him? Ferocity of the guru’s laughter.

I work with the energies, volcanic, galactic, I work with the demons of doubt, annihilating and oppressive.

I release referencing to made-up images of other people together in their container, in their happiness, even if the images flash in my face at the store. Suffering of comparative mind. Dead woman walking.

The yogas do not lie, I practice with devotion, my salvation.

I affirm my pleasure with the intimate other, deepening that groove, new pathways chiseled through stone.

Awareness is nadi, the container, the channels,

awareness is bindu, mind, the drop of nectar,

and we cultivate prana, the Shakti, to power the alchemy.

Physicality, the vow, and the magnetic attraction. The discipline and focus required to hold the components together

can be considerable.

I birth my heart’s hidden desires through weaving my dreams

with the invisible webs of the creative force

I make myself a thing of Beauty and I offer, offer, offer

my precious self. Ananda, Ananda, Sat Chit Ananda...

Affirming the body’s natural capacity to change not self into self,

to merge with the “other“ in the union so that it all becomes the whole. He is me and I am him.

Psychotic break, which is just breakdown

of the habitual compartmentalization of the psyche.

Grant me what I need this day in bread and mercy.

Fear of the explosive force of the masculine, fear of harm caused

and potential for harm, grief and shame. We can raise the serpents with rhythmic respirations

and melting release, gradual, ongoing,

as the Shakti builds. The need for the vow,

to prevent harm caused.

Fears of invisible but powerful obstacles, of incapacity, of separation, thought forms of conditioning,

negation and annihilation.

I cultivate myself with affirmation, for myself,

my lover and beloved.

there is a pressure between the timeless me

and the physical part of me in time,

which creates an alchemical flow of magnetism,

the potentiality of the elevation of consciousness.

I focus my thoughts on the electrons of the desired physical outcome. Seals, closing the seal,

opening the seal, cleansing seals to exorcise demons,

seal it with a kiss, manifesting seal of Solomon, great Seal woman and consort . It is the Friday morning of a

holiday weekend, the mind wonders,

and there is grief and frustration.

When the sun and moon are in balance the illumination occurs.

We orbit around each other, Venus and earth,

Figure 8 of balance, of Infinity,

magnetic attraction, sealed with a kiss.

Hochokan, hochokan, hochokan, coming, coming, coming...

I remove the thorns, I remove the spear that I used to pierce the Christ on his way stumbling up the hill with the cross,

the pointed beak of hatred

that pierces the head, the face, the mind,

the nails piercing the hands and feet. I confess, I atone,

whatever it takes, I am the Master returning many lifetimes

to atone and it is done. The lovemaking is the atonement,

the union, there is nothing else. The karma is not punishment.

It is training ground. your sins are forgiven, the lama is pleased.

do it in memory of me. Stigmata of the crucifixion,

hands and feet,

entry and exit points. the lotus of the mouth.

the lotus of the yoni,

the mouth of the sphincter, contact points of inside and outside,

sense organs, we purify the elements with water, the aggregates

with a crown upon the head, the activities with the name.

There is a brown leaf suspended in mid air. it is still a full month

before the beginning of autumn but it is already busting out of the gate. Your heart is broken and my heart is broken,

let’s sit together.

this catch in my mind, do it with me, but he does it with her.

Little birdie, bobble head,

there’s a feather sticking out above your beak.

Take care, beloved, stay close, it is dark in the valley of death,

our shared breath the vow, but suddenly you are gone and I am gone, faces, reflections, no longer existing as separate,

the two become One...