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Ryan gets accosted by a lady hell bent on celebrity love. Then they rip on dues and ladies publicly hitting on people in replies on social media and the total lack of personal accountability by insane people. Andy and Ryan talk about how to build an egalitarian society where everyone’s a social loser. Their solution: tall muscular ladies who intimidate female stalkers and more roasting of reply guys. A lady tries to pay Andy for art in used panties but Andy likes being able to pay rent. Then they come up with a business idea for detectives who solve alcohol deaths. Then they talk about how bad Ryan would be as a police negotiator. The boys then talk about how bad of deal statistically reincarnation is. Andy plugs Gnostic Christianity to a surprisingly receptive Ryan. Andy introduces Ryan to a 90’s preacher who thinks Pokémon is satanic. Then the boys rip on religious math nonsense. A schizophrenic guy gives Ryan a dire warning while he’s hiking. Then they come up with grocery store dildo pranks. Ryan calls Bang Bus the “Blair Witch Project” of porn. Andy drinks magnesium before bed and it gives him crazy dreams then feels betrayed by Ryan who initially recommended it to him and is now gaslighting him. The. Andy has a harrowing experience on the Facebook Buy Nothing group and it’s so humiliating Ryan can hardly listen to it.

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Andy starts eating eggs when he runs out of tofu and quickly realizes his stomach can no longer process it. Ryan muses on pumping meat sauce down his bathroom sink and wiping with aluminum foil. Andy figures out why tits are growing out of his ass then has a meltdown trying to paint titties on a pin up statuette. Ryan figures out a business idea for being a tit doctor that only works on strippers. The boys talk about the legal loopholes for bottom nudity in states that make it illegal. The boys then come up with an idea for “educational strip clubs” where you have to stay in the club until you answer anatomy questions. Andy recommends that Ryan respond to messages from his ex for the lols. Then they talk about the cyclical nature of idiotic relationships. Andy has a revelation about his relationship and Ryan forgets that he kissed Andy’s belly. Andy pitches a podcast where he does bits with his wife while they fuck and Ryan is behind a screen also doing bits. They talk about the robot lady who shocks Trump while he’s sleeping during a press conference. Ryan worries that using Chinese stars to defend his apartment. There’s some human hunting talk and wasting helicopter fuel watching ladies sunbathe naked on Los Angeles roofs. Then they fantasize about Andy being a race car driver who eats chicken wings and shits through a hole in the car floor during races.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest

The boys open the show with impressions of Sean Connery being racist. This leads to garrison Keillor impressions. There’s some medi-evac talk. Then they talk about how bad they would both be as spies. Then they talk about why fighter pilots need two people in the cockpit: to operate the cd player and George Formen grills. Ryan insists that scientists don’t know how wings work. Then they come up with a curriculum for fighter pilot school. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with the idea of a “provisional license” and is finally proven right on a fact. Ryan reveals that he would be a bad father because he wouldn’t let his kid touch his Porsche posters with syrup all over their hands. Ryan then invents a shower bidet that’s just a slightly smaller shower for your ass. Andy falls in love with Sword and Buckler while Ryan makes fun of his “tiny little shield”. Ryan, Andy and Google AI get into a heated argument about Bang Bus. This leads to an argument over the legality of blasting fuck noises on giant speakers throughout a neighborhood. This leads to a crash out where Ryan tells google Ai that Andy has an iq of 82. This crescendos with Andy absolutely losing his shit on Ryan and screaming at him.