On Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia welcomes relationship coach, author, and podcast host Monica Tanner to explore conflict, emotional safety, and intimacy when alcohol is no longer the escape hatch. Together, they explore how to ask for support, navigate difficult conversations, and reconnect through change.

Does “never go to bed angry” actually help? When does communication become criticism? What happens when drinking or scrolling becomes a way to disappear during conflict? Sonia and Monica explore resentment, sober relationships, and talking about sex without turning the conversation into a performance.

Monica introduces relational life therapy concepts, including protective childhood patterns, the emotional “whoosh,” and choosing a response with greater awareness. She shares examples of clear requests, healthy boundaries, side-by-side intimacy conversations, and small routines that create space for connection.

Monica also shares how her parents’ divorce shaped her interest in relationships, why late-night arguments brought up fears of abandonment, and how a simple request for reassurance changed those moments in her marriage. Her son’s approaching wedding became the inspiration for her book.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.

Monica’s Links

🌐 Monica Tanner’s Website 🎙️ Secrets of Happily Ever After Podcast 📖 Bad Marriage Advice

SIS Links

💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Timestamped Highlights

01:00 — Meet relationship coach Monica Tanner. 02:00 — The divorce that reshaped her idea of marriage. 04:00 — Rethinking “never go to bed angry.” 06:00 — Asking for reassurance before taking a break. 08:00 — Relationship maintenance before a crisis. 11:00 — Why conflict can block familiar communication skills. 14:00 — Recognizing protective patterns and boundaries. 16:00 — Teaching a partner how to love you well. 18:00 — Small requests before resentment builds. 20:00 — Asking for listening instead of solutions. 23:00 — Making requests without criticism. 25:00 — Withdrawal, fawning, and old survival strategies. 26:00 — Sonia on alcohol, conflict, and getting sober. 28:00 — Withdrawing in plain sight. 30:00 — Pausing during the emotional “whoosh.” 34:00 — Making space for conversations about sex. 38:00 — Exploring a broader definition of intimacy. 41:00 — When deeper relationship problems need help first. 45:00 — Monica’s routines for regular connection. 46:00 — Couples work, intensives, and closing reflections.

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia explores the invisible work adult daughters perform to keep families connected. With communication scholar, Baylor professor and Good Daughtering author Dr. Allison M. Alford. Dr. Alford helps women recognize how family roles can shape self-worth, perfectionism, resentment and coping.

Why are daughters so often expected to organize, anticipate needs and smooth over conflict? How do culture, birth order and family expectations influence daughtering? And why can a son receive enormous praise for a small gesture while a daughter feels she is always falling short?

Dr. Alford defines daughtering as the mental, emotional, logistical and identity work daughters do for their families. She explains how to make that labor visible, establish boundaries without turning them into ultimatums, distinguish venting from rumination and replace impossible A+ expectations with a sustainable B+ standard.

She also shares how her own family relationships changed when she stopped building connection around complaints and enlisted her husband, children and sister in creating new conversation patterns. Her message is simple: every woman is already a good-enough daughter and has agency in deciding how that role will fit into her life.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.

Dr. Alford’s Links

🌐 Daughtering 101 Website 📕 Good Daughtering 📸 Instagram

SIS Links

💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

01:00 — Dr. Allison Alford introduces her work on daughtering 05:00 — Defining the overlooked cost of being a good daughter 07:00 — Why women’s caring roles are so often called mothering 10:00 — Honoring daughterhood as a distinct part of identity 12:00 — Choosing how fully to show up in family roles 14:00 — Daughters as the behind-the-scenes family CEOs 16:00 — How daughter conditioning develops from childhood 18:00 — Why sons receive praise for exceeding lower expectations 22:00 — Culture, geography and privilege shape daughtering 24:00 — The unspoken rules daughters are expected to follow 27:00 — How impossible standards create a fog of failure 30:00 — Creating a personal B+ daughter rubric 32:00 — The relationship between resentment and self-abandonment 34:00 — Boundaries as fences around emotional and physical space 36:00 — Recognizing when family venting becomes rumination 38:00 — Communicating a boundary once—and following through 40:00 — Making invisible daughtering labor visible 43:00 — Building a Plan B for healthier family conversations 46:00 — Eldest and only daughters face distinct pressures 50:00 — Every daughter gets to decide what “good enough” means

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia explores the connection between sobriety, creativity, and reinvention with Kerri Maher, the USA Today bestselling author of The Paris Bookseller and The Kennedy Debutante. Kerri discusses her four years of sobriety and her deeply personal new novel, Summer of Love, set in California and centered on addiction, family, recovery, and hope.

What happens when someone’s drinking does not produce a cinematic rock bottom, but no longer feels sustainable? How can people find recovery support outside traditional 12-step programs? Sonia and Kerri discuss sober identity, online community, emotional sobriety, belonging, and the many different paths people can take toward changing their relationship with alcohol.

Kerri explains how The Luckiest Club helped her find her people, why sobriety and writing are both daily practices, and how greater clarity changed her creative and professional decisions. She also shares how The Artist’s Way, morning pages, artist dates, and an “adjacent art” with no pressure attached helped her develop Summer of Love.

Kerri’s story reveals a quieter, joyful vision of recovery: clear mornings, renewed confidence, richer emotions, and the freedom to experience places such as Napa beyond their drinking culture. She also reflects on generational addiction, “good girl” identity, sober travel, and writing a novel that allows recovery to be hopeful rather than punishing.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.

Kerri’s Links

📚 Summer of Love 📸 Instagram: @kerrimaherwriter

SIS Links

💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

01:00 — Kerri introduces her sobriety and Summer of Love 04:00 — The small moments that made Kerri question her drinking 05:00 — An early 15-to-18-month period without alcohol 08:00 — How The Luckiest Club began and became Kerri’s community 10:00 — Finding accessible support during the sandwich-generation years 14:00 — Is recovery’s “special sauce” the program or the community? 17:00 — Emotional sobriety, anger management, and continued inner work 19:00 — Writing and sobriety as practices built through repetition 21:00 — How alcohol created subtle brain fog without stopping productivity 26:00 — The personal origins of Summer of Love 28:00 — Morning pages bring the book’s characters and plot together 31:00 — Watercolor play as relaxing, pressure-free creativity 33:00 — Writing about recovery as joyful rather than punishing 35:00 — Clear mornings and dependable presence as everyday sober joy 43:00 — Exploring generational patterns of addiction 46:00 — Looking beyond wine culture in Napa Valley 49:00 — Rediscovering California through food, landscape, and connection 53:00 — Sober travel and experiencing mornings without a hangover 54:00 — Kerri’s message to sober and sober-curious readers 55:00 — Closing the conversation