Need advice? Welcome to Life Hax, a brand new podcast co-hosted by Washington Post advice columnists Carolyn Hax and Shane O’Neill. Each week, they’ll answer your most pressing questions about a wide range of personal issues, be it toxic family, messy romantic entanglements, or dysfunctional friendships. Come for the dishy stories, stay for Carolyn and Shane’s sharp insights into navigating the personal relationships that give us fits.

Today’s questions are all about adultery. When there’s cheating in the air…whose job is it to spill the tea? Should some secrets just stay buried? Listen now to find out. Plus, find the full text of for this week's round up of submissions below.

Question #1:

Dear Life Hax,

My husband confessed to an affair years ago with an old friend from college, and we worked through the aftermath. I found out this same old friend had other affairs with multiple married men in the college friend group. I see these wives socially and we've become friends. They have no idea their husbands betrayed them with this woman. They post pictures of events with their arms draped over her shoulders, and my skin crawls. My marriage is better, more honest and intimate since my husband's confession so I know it's possible their marriages will survive. Should I tell these wives this woman is not their friend? I know the husbands are carrying around heavy guilt about their infidelity and they may find relief for the secret to be out. I also feel disloyal to my friends by staying silent even though I don't want to trouble the waters. What would you do?

Question #2:

Dear Life Hax,

Years ago I was in a tight but dysfunctional friend group. One of the friends, "Cate," was secretly sleeping with the boyfriend of another friend "Anna." I was not the only one who knew, but we agreed to keep quiet about it. Typical immature 20-somethings we were. Sometime later, I was dropped by the group. I knew why without having to ask anyone: Anna found out her boyfriend was cheating, and the boyfriend and some of the other friends pointed the finger at me to protect Cate. I didn't really care. I had grown tired of these friends, and being dropped was the relief I needed so I never defended myself or tried to get back in the group. Anna was always snobby toward me, and at the time, I thought it was a nice comeuppance for her to be backstabbed by her bestie while being completely clueless, even at the expense of being falsely accused of betrayal. Anna eventually got married to someone else, and now this new guy is about to become a father, with Cate, who was even her maid of honor. Anna has since learned the whole truth about how long Cate has been sleeping with her romantic partners, how other friends over the years knew and kept quiet, and how I was scapegoated that one time while also knowing the truth. Anna sent me a message asking why I didn't tell her the truth all those years ago, and why I let her think I was the one who slept with her ex-boyfriend. She says if she had known the truth about Cate way back then, she would never have let Cate become so enmeshed in her life. I have not responded. I don't know what to say other than, "Sorry Cate has been a bad friend to you for a decade. Choose better men and better friends." But I'm not going to say that. Am I being petty by still holding my peace?

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.