For years, Melissa McGovern tried to get sober on her own terms—cutting out alcohol for a while, feeling great, then slowly letting it creep back in under the guise of moderation. The cycle repeated more than once.

Then one of the worst things imaginable happened: she lost her best friend, who had spent years cycling in and out of rehabs and homeless shelters. Melissa coped the only way she knew how: by binging food and alcohol.

By summer 2023, her health finally caught up with her. A doctor's visit confirmed it: her bloodwork came back elevated across the board, her liver enzymes higher than they'd ever been. Her doctor laid out the usual next steps—medication, local AA meetings. Melissa took neither. She started walking instead, filled the silence with sober podcasts, and stumbled into an online sober community that gave her the support of meetings without the room. Within three weeks, she started to feel like herself again.

Three years later, Melissa's still alcohol-free, and she's turned what she found for herself into something she now offers to others. Through coaching and sober retreats, she's built her own version of that community, helping people who are sober curious or ready for a change find a path that actually fits them, instead of the one they're told they're supposed to take.

With host Michael Herbert, Melissa gets into why she doesn't call her sobriety journey "recovery," why she doesn't identify with the word "alcoholic," and why none of that matters nearly as much as the life she's built without alcohol in it.

Her take: there's no single right way to get sober, and the people who've found their own way there tend to be the most supportive of someone else finding theirs.

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This episode is sponsored by Guardian Recovery. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or mental health challenges, Guardian can help. Visit https://www.guardianrecovery.com or call 888-721-3790 for confidential support and guidance.