You can do everything “right” and still end up trapped with someone who is building a double life. Shauna, originally from Wexford and living in London, walks us through how a match on Tinder turns into a fast moving relationship that looks perfect on paper, while underneath it is powered by love bombing, manipulation, and control.

We talk openly about the pieces people often miss: the early red flags like constant stories about a “crazy ex”, anger that shows up in public, and the subtle intimidation that starts to shrink your world. Shauna explains how financial abuse and hidden debt create panic and dependency, how monitoring can be disguised as caring, and how gaslighting can leave you doubting your own memory and judgement. We also discuss the very real danger of strangulation, why it is treated as a serious risk marker, and what it feels like to realise your relationship has moved from unhappy to life threatening.

From there, Shauna shares what helped her get free: using Clare’s Law, speaking to police, navigating long court timelines, and the impact of a ten year restraining order. We zoom out to the bigger question too, how communities, sports clubs, and friend groups can enable abusers when they prioritise comfort and reputation over safety.

This weeks episode is sponsored by Ivory Rowe visit Ivoryrowe.myshopify.com for more information.

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