Should you have sex when you’re not in the mood? You should never feel pressured or obligated to have sex, but you also may not need to wait for spontaneous desire before beginning to connect.

In this episode of the Sexology Podcast Caroline Hood joins Dr. Nazanin Moali to explain how responsive desire works and why sexual desire often changes in long-term relationships. They explore the important difference between being willing to become intimate and forcing yourself to have sex when you do not want to.

Caroline explains why some people experience desire only after affection, touch, or sexual stimulation begins. She also discusses how couples can schedule intimacy without making it feel obligatory, create the conditions that allow desire to grow, and communicate about sex without introducing pressure or rejection.

The conversation also explores sexuality after motherhood, the Madonna-whore narrative, emotional disconnection, and the importance of expanding our definition of what counts as sex. If you have been wondering why you are rarely “in the mood,” this episode offers a more compassionate way to understand your desire.

In this episode, you will learn:

• The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire

• Whether it is healthy to have sex when you are not initially in the mood

• Why sexual pressure and obligation reduce desire

• How to schedule sex without making it feel like another chore

• How couples can create more space for intimacy

• Why low desire does not always mean a lack of attraction

• How motherhood can affect sexuality and identity

• How the Madonna-whore narrative shapes women’s sexuality

• Why emotional connection matters for sexual desire

• How to communicate sexual needs without blame or pressure

• Why expanding your definition of sex can create more pleasure

• How fulfilling sexual experiences can help desire grow over time

About Caroline Hood

Caroline Hood is a writer and speaker exploring desire, intimacy, sex, play, and the cultural narratives surrounding long-term relationships. Her work combines humor, introspection, practical guidance, empowerment, and a little tough love.

Caroline challenges the assumption that sex inevitably becomes less satisfying over time. In Because I Want To, she encourages readers to reconnect with their desire, deepen intimacy, and build a more exciting and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Learn more about Caroline Hood:

https://www.desireinreallife.com/

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Why can trauma make you lose interest in sex, disconnect from your body, or freeze during intimacy? In this episode of the Sexology Podcast, somatic instructor Liz Tenuto, also known as The Workout Witch, explains how trauma affects the nervous system, sexual desire, pleasure, and our ability to feel safe in the body.

Liz shares her personal journey of living with PTSD, chronic pain, sleep difficulties, and the long-term effects of trauma. She explains how gentle somatic exercises and small, intentional movements may help reduce habitual tension, regulate the nervous system, and rebuild a sense of safety and connection with the body.

We also explore the fawn and freeze responses during sex, why anxiety can be mistaken for a lack of desire, and how trauma survivors can begin reconnecting with sexual sensation without forcing themselves to move faster than their bodies are ready for.

Liz opens up about healing after an abusive marriage, coming out, and discovering her sexuality later in life. She shares how becoming more connected to her body helped her understand what she genuinely wanted from relationships, sex, and intimacy.

In this episode, you will learn:

• How trauma can affect sexual desire and physical sensation
• What somatic healing is and how somatic exercises work
• How stress and trauma become connected to chronic tension
• What the fawn response looks like in relationships
• Why someone may freeze or disconnect during sex
• How the nervous system influences arousal, pleasure, and libido
• Ways to ground yourself when sexual triggers arise
• How to distinguish desire from anxiety or hyperarousal
• Why slowing down can help rebuild safety and pleasure
• How trauma survivors can reconnect with their bodies
• What it can mean to discover your sexuality later in life

About Liz Tenuto

Liz Tenuto, also known as The Workout Witch, is a somatic instructor who specializes in practices designed to address the physical effects of chronic stress and trauma. Her mission is to make somatic healing approachable, accessible, and easy to incorporate into everyday life.

Drawing from both professional knowledge and personal experience as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence, Liz helps people understand how trauma can influence the body, nervous system, relationships, and capacity for pleasure.

Learn more about Liz Tenuto:

https://theworkoutwitch.com

Work With Dr. Nazanin Moali:

https://sexologypodcast.com/work-with-me

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Follow the Sexology Podcast on Instagram:

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How do you rebuild trust after infidelity? Can a relationship survive an affair, and can emotional intimacy and sexual desire return after betrayal?

In this episode of the Sexology Podcast, Dr. Nazanin Moali speaks with renowned couples therapist and sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson about infidelity recovery, forgiveness, attachment wounds, and rebuilding trust after cheating.

Dr. Watson explains why relationship problems involving sex are rarely just about sex. She explores how emotional attachment and sexual attachment intersect, creating a pursue and withdraw cycle in which one partner feels rejected while the other feels pressured, overwhelmed, or disconnected.

You’ll also learn why people cheat, how an affair affects emotional and sexual intimacy, and what it takes to repair a relationship after betrayal. Dr. Watson shares practical guidance for understanding attachment patterns, healing relationship wounds, restoring trust, and reconnecting sexually after infidelity.

Whether you are recovering from an affair, struggling with mismatched sexual desire, or feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner, this episode offers a compassionate roadmap for rebuilding safety, intimacy, and connection.

ABOUT DR. LAURIE WATSON:

Dr. Laurie Watson, PhD, LMFT, LCMHC, is a nationally recognized sex therapist, couples therapist, author, and podcaster. She is the co-author of Brave Love; Great Sex: Unlocking the Passion and Connection You Crave with Emotionally Focused Therapy and author of Wanting Sex Again. Laurie is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor and an ICEEFT Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist. She co-hosts the Brave Love; Great Sex podcast with George Faller, which has more than 15 million downloads and over 500 episodes. She is also the founder and director of Awakenings Center for Couples & Sex Therapy in North Carolina, where she has spent decades helping couples build stronger emotional and sexual connection.

N THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN:

• Why sexual desire changes in long term relationships

• How the pursue and withdraw cycle affects sex and intimacy

• The relationship between emotional and sexual attachment

• How to recognize the mega attachment pattern

• Why people cheat, even when they still love their partner

• Whether a relationship can survive infidelity

• What forgiveness after an affair really means

• How to repair attachment wounds after betrayal

• How to rebuild trust after cheating

• Ways to restore emotional and sexual intimacy

• How Dr. Watson’s REV Method helps couples reconnect

WORK WITH DR. NAZANIN MOALI:

https://sexologypodcast.com/work-with-me