I went live with @shawanamadenew, the lead in The Pole Couldn't Hold Me. 🎭This is my first time interviewing a cast member, and I didn't pick an easy story. She opens up about her testimony, how she got there, and what it took to walk out. Then you can watch it live on stage tonight.It's not too late to get your seat. 🎟️📍 FFX Theater, 206 16th St., Virginia Beach🕢 Doors 7:30 PM🎬 Show 8:00 PM sharpTickets on Eventbrite, link in bio.Catch the live at 5, then come see the rest of the story in person. Who are you bringing? Tag them below. 👇#ThePoleCouldntHoldMe #StagePlay #ChristianTheater #RedemptionStory #VirginiaBeachEvents

She said yes. Her body wasn't there for it.

If sex in your marriage feels like one more task on the list instead of something you actually want, this episode is for you. We're naming what obligation sex really is, where it came from (yes, some of it came straight from the pulpit), and why "just do your duty" is quietly killing desire in Christian marriages everywhere.

We're pulling back the curtain on two competing teachings inside the church right now. One says sex is a debt you owe your husband, no matter what. The other says that same teaching is what's normalizing coercion in Christian homes. We're showing you both, and telling you which one actually holds up.

Then we're going to Esther. A queen who hadn't been called to the king's chambers in thirty days, and walked in anyway. Her confidence wasn't built on access to her body. It was built on being fully known. That's the difference between performing availability and actually giving yourself, and it's the whole episode in one sentence.

If you've ever said yes to keep the peace, this one's for you. Come find out why.

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Gentle isn't weak. Peaceful isn't passive. But if nobody ever taught you the difference, obligation starts to feel like love.

In this episode, Tammy breaks down what happens when a marriage runs one-sided: when you're not being heard, not being supported, not being fed the way you're feeding. That gap is where obligation moves in and quietly renames itself "commitment."

She unpacks why balance isn't even the right word for what a marriage needs, and what it actually looks like for two people to feed off each other instead of one person constantly pouring out. Then she takes it back to identity: you don't fix obligation by trying harder. You fix it by understanding the authority you already carry and what scripture actually says about who you are in that relationship.

If you've been calling it "just how marriage is" and it's actually just how your marriage feels right now, this one's for you.

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Tired or Touched Out? Knowing the Difference Between Fatigue and Capacity

Everybody's tired. That's not the question. The real question is: do you have anything left to give? In this episode we break down the difference between being tired and being out of capacity, because your marriage bed doesn't know the difference until you name it. We talk about why "no" is a complete sentence when you're truly depleted, why capacity isn't selfishness, and why saying no from an empty tank protects your marriage more than saying yes ever could. We also talk about the other side: those moments when you're tired but you still have something in the tank, and choosing to stretch and show up for your spouse anyway, when it's safe and permissible to do so, can be its own act of love. This episode gives you the language to check in with yourself honestly, so you stop confusing exhaustion with emptiness, and start knowing which one you're actually facing.

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Have you ever looked at the way you respond in friendships and relationships and wondered, "Why do I do that?"

Sometimes what looks like being distant, guarded, overly independent, avoidant, or even a "bad friend" isn't really about the friendship in front of you. Sometimes it's connected to something that happened years ago.

In Part 2, Larissa and I go deeper into trauma, friendship, healing, forgiveness, and the experiences that shaped how we show up in relationships today.

We're not just talking about what happened. We're talking about what happened after it happened.

How did the people around you respond when you were hurt? Did you feel protected? Believed? Heard? Did someone create a safe space for you, or did life just move on while you were left to figure out what to do with it?

In this episode, I share more of my story, including experiences with abuse and the complicated family dynamics that followed. We talk about what it looks like when someone can love you, support you, and give you space to process, while also making decisions you may not fully understand.

Then we get into forgiveness.

Because forgiveness does not automatically mean reconciliation. It doesn't mean pretending something didn't happen. It doesn't mean giving someone unlimited access to you. And it doesn't necessarily mean rebuilding the relationship with the person who hurt you.

There are people I've forgiven that I still choose to keep my distance from. I can do that without hatred. I can release what happened, trust God with what I cannot change, set boundaries, and keep living my life.

We also sit with a hard truth: sometimes people make terrible decisions out of their own brokenness, and those decisions create wounds in other people's lives. Those wounds can follow us into friendships, marriages, family, and even the way we see ourselves. But they don't have to stay in control.

Sometimes healing starts the moment you connect the dots: "Ohhhh, that's why I respond like that."

This conversation is raw, layered, and personal. But ultimately, it's about hope.

No matter what happened, no matter who failed you, no matter how long you've carried it, no matter what healing still looks like for you:

Friend, you're gonna make it. ❤️

🎙️ SEX ED FOR SAINTS
Because not enough of us are talking about sex, intimacy, relationships, healing, and the things that affect them, from a faith-based perspective.

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⚠️ CONTENT NOTE: This episode contains conversations about childhood trauma, abuse, and other sensitive experiences. Please listen with care.

💬 JOIN THE CONVERSATION
Have you ever realized something you thought was part of your "personality" was actually connected to something you experienced? Tell me in the comments: what has healing taught you about the way you show up in relationships?

If this episode made you think of somebody who needs to hear "you're gonna make it," send it to them. ❤️

#SexEdForSaints #TraumaResponse #HealingJourney #ChristianRelationships #Forgiveness #Friendship #FaithAndHealing

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Are you a bad friend, or are you responding out of trauma? Larissa Rhone is back with me (you know her by now, she's basically a permanent cohost at this point) to dissect one of the most uncomfortable questions in friendship: how do you tell the difference?

We talk about what actually makes someone a bad friend versus what makes someone a wounded one: the ability to confront things even when it's uncomfortable, the ability to apologize, the ability to think about someone else even when you're overwhelmed with your own stuff. And we get honest about the messier truth, that sometimes you don't know whether you responded out of trauma or just responded badly until after the moment has already passed and the friendship has already taken the hit.

We also talk about withdrawal. About the friendships we've quietly walked away from, not because we stopped caring, but because we weren't at a place where we felt safe enough to face what was actually going on. If you've ever ghosted a friend, pulled away without explaining why, or wondered if you're the problem, this one's for you.

🎧 New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss the rest of the series.

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⚠️ Content Warning: This episode discusses childhood self-harm, addiction, and a suicide attempt. Please take care while listening. If you or someone you know is struggling, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) and SAMHSA's National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) are free, confidential, and available 24/7. 🚨

Dorcas Pittman, Editor-in-Chief of Women of Hope Magazine, joins me for one of the heaviest and most honest conversations we've had on Sex Ed for Saints.

For years, Dorcas wore the cape. From the outside, everything looked put together, but underneath it, she was carrying childhood self-harm, a growing 🌽 addiction, and a mounting weight of shame she never let anyone see. She had people around her, but not the kind of closeness where she felt safe enough to fail out loud. So she kept adding layers instead, hiding more, performing more, until it brought her to a breaking point that nearly cost her everything.

This is the episode where Dorcas finally drops her cape and heals for real. It's about what it costs to perform wellness instead of pursuing it, and what changes when you stop hiding and start telling the truth.

Follow Dorcas at @iamdorcasp and find her work at womenofhopemag.com, including where to grab a copy of Women of Hope Magazine.

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🎧 New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss the rest of the series.

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Website: yourmarriagelab.com
TikTok: @themarriagelab
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A production of MarriageLab LLC

#SexEdForSaints #ChristianMarriage #OnenessInMarriage

This episode is brought to you by Covenant Eyes. Protecting your eyes protects your marriage. Use code MARRIAGELAB for 30 days free: ⁠https://covenanteyes.sjv.io/marriagelab

When my daughter was seven years old, she saved up every dollar she had to buy me a gift. I kept it because I understood the price she paid to give it to me.

God paid a price for you that makes that gift look like nothing. And yet most of us have never stopped to ask what it actually means to live like someone who was bought at that price.

In this final episode of What the Church Never Told You About Sex, we're closing out the series with the last two of the eight things happening every time a married couple comes together. Sex produces a godly heritage, and sex honors God with your sexuality.

In this episode we cover:

• The personal story behind why who you connect yourself to matters more than most people realize
• Why God has always cared deeply about who His people joined themselves to, and what that means for you today
• What it actually means to honor God with your body, beyond the checklist purity culture gave you
• Why being a virgin doesn't make you holy, and not being a virgin doesn't make you unholy
• The real reason purity culture's message was toxic, and what God actually intended when He called you to purity
• Why your sexual past does not disqualify you from God's redemption, no matter how long the list is
• What a godly heritage actually looks like, and why your marriage is more powerful than you think

This episode is for the person who grew up believing their value was tied to their sexual history. For the couple who wants their marriage to mean something beyond what they can see. For anyone who has ever felt too far gone to be made whole.

You were bought at a price so high it can't be calculated. God didn't pay that price so you could live in shame. He paid it so you could live in honor.

This is what that looks like.

This is the final episode of a four-part series. Thank you for being here for all of it.

🎧 New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss the rest of the series.Connect with me:Website: yourmarriagelab.comTikTok: @themarriagelabInstagram: @themarriagelabllcA production of MarriageLab LLC#SexEdForSaints #ChristianMarriage #OnenessInMarriage