Grief & Milestones/Celebrations // How I Cope & What I’ve Learned

Grief can feel especially heavy during milestones and celebrations. Whether it’s a birthday, wedding, anniversary, or holiday, these moments often highlight our loved one and our grief even more.

In this episode, I share my own experience of navigating grief during my daughter’s first birthday and the insights I’ve found through The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O’Connor. Her research on how the brain processes grief helped me understand why milestones make grief feel so raw—and why it’s normal for these moments to trigger waves of sadness.

We’ll explore:

• Why milestones and celebrations intensify grief

• How the brain “maps” loved ones who are no longer here

• Why acceptance isn’t the goal—integration is

• What I’ve learned about coping with grief during milestones

• Gentle practices that help me care for myself in these tender moments

If you’ve ever wondered how to deal with grief and loss of a loved one during big life events, this episode offers compassion, clarity, and gentle reminders that you’re not alone.

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In this episode, I sit down with my school friend Jade to unpack her entire ADHD diagnosis journey: what finally prompted her to seek answers, the childhood signs she now recognises, and how her life has shifted both before and after putting a name on her experience.

🔸 What You’ll Hear:

• The subtle signs in school and uni

• What led to the decision for a diagnosis in adulthood and motherhood

• How Jade navigated the assessment process: gathering school reports, pushing past gender bias, and finding a neuro-affirming psychiatrist

• Life post diagnosis

• A guest perspective on what an ADHD diagnosis really means—and how naming it can transform your relationships, work, and self-understanding

Whether you’re supporting someone with ADHD or exploring a diagnosis for yourself, Jade’s candid story offers support. It's a great way to explore what the process and experience of an adult ADHD diagnosis can look like.

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Going through a friendship breakup can feel even more confusing than a romantic one. The signs are subtle, the emotions complicated—and the grief? Often overlooked. In this episode, we talk about the quiet unraveling of friendships that once felt like home, and what to do when they no longer feel right.

If you’ve been feeling emotionally drained, anxious before seeing someone, or like you have to shrink yourself around a friend, this episode will help you explore whether it’s time to let go. I share my own friendship breakup story, the emotional signs I ignored, and how life transitions—like motherhood, grief, or personal growth—can shift our capacity to connect.

This is for you if you’re navigating the pain of losing a friend, wondering what’s changed, and seeking compassionate, real-talk relationship advice—without blame or guilt.

🔸 What You’ll Hear:

• Why some friendships fade even when there’s no big fight

• Signs of emotional disconnection and subtle burnout

• The difference between toxic friendships and natural drift

• How capacity, expectations, and identity shifts create change

• Reflective questions to help you let go with love

Whether you’re in the middle of a friendship breakup or just starting to question a connection, you’re not alone. This conversation is your permission to honor where you are, and reclaim space for friendships that align with who you are now.

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Feeling Like You’re Always Helping? Signs of Emotional Burnout in Relationships

In this episode of the Self Development Collective, we’re diving deep into a type of emotional burnout we don’t talk about enough—the kind that happens when we’re supporting others.

This isn’t about work stress or parenting exhaustion. This is about those of us who take on the role of the helper. The fixer. The person who tries to hold everything—and everyone—together. And the emotional tiredness that comes with that.

I share a recent moment in therapy that completely shifted how I understood my emotional exhaustion. This episode talks about the signs of emotional burnout when the challenges we're supporting aren't our own but those of others.

So if you’re asking yourself, “Why do I feel so tired when nothing’s really happening to me?”—this episode is for you.

We’ll explore:

• What emotional burnout can look like when we’re constantly helping others

• Why being the “emotional support person” can be draining

• How emotional tiredness often shows up as anger, resentment, or numbness

• Why childhood roles may wire us into over-helping

• What it actually means to set boundaries as a helper

Whether you’re the go-to in your family, your friendships, or just always feel responsible for others—this is a gentle, honest reflection on the emotional exhaustion that can come with that role.

⏱️ Timestamps:

00:00 – Feeling burnt out but not sure why?

03:10 – The invisible weight of emotional support

06:45 – What “emotional tiredness” can look like

09:20 – Childhood roles and how they shape us

12:05 – Practicing boundaries (even when it’s hard)

15:00 – Reflections + how to reconnect with yourself

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Making Decisions In Life (How Invisible Family Rules Shape Our Life Decisions)

Have you ever found yourself stuck, unsure why you're making the decisions you're making — or why it feels so hard to make any at all?

In this episode, I’m sharing a personal story about one of those moments. A time when I was deep in the decision-making process and realised I was pushing myself down a path that didn’t actually feel like mine. Through conversations in therapy and reflecting on my experience, I started to uncover something deeper — the invisible rules and generational expectations that had quietly shaped how I made decisions my whole life.

We talk about:

• The invisible family rules that shape our decision making

• How legacy burdens can show up in our personal growth journey

• The emotional toll of trying to live up to inherited expectations

• How to begin making decisions that reflect who you are now — not who others expected you to be

This episode is for anyone who’s ever asked themselves, “Why does this feel so hard?” or “Is this really my choice?”

It’s not just about how to make decisions — it’s about how to make them with clarity, compassion, and connection to yourself. Whether you're exploring personal development, mental health, or just learning how to stop overthinking every life choice — this one's for you.

As always, take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and be kind to yourself in the process.

Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro & personal story 03:00 – The emotional cycle of decision fatigue 10:45 – What are invisible family rules? 14:30 – Legacy burdens & how they show up 20:00 – Making choices that reflect your life now 29:00 – Final thoughts and gentle reminders

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Leaving a Narcissistic Parent // How to Emotionally Distance from a Narcissistic Parent

This episode came from a YouTube listener’s question on how to leave a narcissistic relationship — and for me, that brought up one of the hardest experiences I’ve worked through: leaving a narcissistic parent.

In this episode, I share my personal story of growing up with a narcissistic parent and what the emotional process of leaving really looked like — because it wasn’t clean, it wasn’t quick, and it definitely didn’t happen all at once.

These relationships aren’t just painful — they’re confusing. A narcissistic parent relationship can blur your sense of self so much that you don’t even realise how far you’ve lost your voice until you start to get it back.

Here’s what I share in this episode:

• Why leaving a narcissistic parent feels emotionally impossible

• A personal story from one of the most painful moments of my life — and how my dad’s reaction made everything painfully clear

• How shame, guilt, and emotional manipulation kept me stuck for years

• Why therapy became the turning point — and what it felt like to hear a professional say, “It’s not you.”

• What rebuilding self-trust actually looked like (and why I couldn’t do it alone)

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic parent where everything is always about them, where your feelings are minimized, and you constantly question yourself — please know: You are not too sensitive. You’re not broken. And you are not alone.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about choosing your mental health. It’s about honoring your truth — even when that means walking away from someone who was supposed to love you.

Recommendations from this episode //

📚 Earth To Moon by Moon Unit Zappa 👉 https://www.amazon.com.au/Earth-Moon-Memoir-Unit-Zappa/dp/0063113341

📚 I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy 👉 https://amzn.asia/d/gfSBzJt

🧠 Havening Therapy 👉 https://www.havening.org/directory/grid/practitioners-list-grid

🧠 EMDR Therapy 👉 https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/

Join the email community // Get reflections, insights, and practical tools to support your personal development journey—delivered straight to your inbox. 👉 https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/

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Free Inner Critic Meditation

https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/free-inner-critic-meditation

In this episode, I open up about my personal journey with the inner critic—how it held me back, and how I’ve slowly learned to work with it rather than against it using the powerful lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy.

For years, I tried everything: affirmations, mindset shifts, journaling... but nothing helped silence that critical voice inside me. It wasn’t until I discovered IFS that I completely shifted my approach to working with the inner critic.

Together, we’ll explore:

• What Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy says about the inner critic

• Why trying to "silence" your inner critic often backfires

• The connection between your inner critic and childhood experiences

• A simple but powerful reframe that helped me soften my self-talk

• Book recommendation: Freedom from the Inner Critic by Jay Earley & Bonnie Weiss

Whether your inner critic sounds like “You’re not good enough,” or keeps pushing you to “do more, be more,” this episode is here to remind you: you are not alone. And there is a gentle way forward.

Resources for this episode //

Freedom From Your Inner Critic - Bonnie Weiss & Jay Early

https://www.amazon.com.au/Freedom-Your-Inner-Critic-Self-Therapy/dp/1604079428

No Bad Parts - Richard Schwartz

https://www.amazon.com.au/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1785045113

Internal Family Systems - Richard Schwartz

https://www.amazon.com.au/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-Second/dp/B0D6NL2Y8C

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This is the final episode of Season 1, and I just want to say—thank you so much for being here.

Your time, energy, and presence have meant the world to me. In this wrap-up episode, I reflect on everything we explored this season—from redefining goals and values to building daily vision, staying aligned in our habits, and reconnecting with ourselves in more meaningful ways.

I share what I’ve learned through showing up consistently (which I’m super proud of), and why this season has felt like a whole new way of doing self-development—one that honors where we are now, not just where we want to go.

We also dive into:

• 🌱 Why reflection matters just as much as action

• 💭 The transition into Season 2 and how the focus is shifting to deeper emotional work (relationships, grief, the inner critic)

• 🧠 My own healing journey with narcissistic relationships and upcoming episodes on cutting ties with a narcissistic parent

• 🎤 A new Q&A segment launching next season—where YOU can ask anonymous questions about personal growth, relationships, or anything in between - Ask here

This is your reminder to celebrate your growth too. Whether you listened to one episode or all of them, I’m proud of you—and I hope you’re proud of yourself.

✨ Take a moment to rest, reflect, and acknowledge how far you’ve come.

Timestamps 00:00 – A heartfelt thank you 01:00 – Reflections on showing up & growth 02:00 – What this season taught me 03:00 – Season 2 preview: grief, relationships, and the inner critic 04:15 – Launching the anonymous Q&A segment 05:00 – Why I’m taking a short break + what’s next

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