Making Decisions In Life (How Invisible Family Rules Shape Our Life Decisions)

Have you ever found yourself stuck, unsure why you're making the decisions you're making — or why it feels so hard to make any at all?

In this episode, I’m sharing a personal story about one of those moments. A time when I was deep in the decision-making process and realised I was pushing myself down a path that didn’t actually feel like mine. Through conversations in therapy and reflecting on my experience, I started to uncover something deeper — the invisible rules and generational expectations that had quietly shaped how I made decisions my whole life.

We talk about:

• The invisible family rules that shape our decision making

• How legacy burdens can show up in our personal growth journey

• The emotional toll of trying to live up to inherited expectations

• How to begin making decisions that reflect who you are now — not who others expected you to be

This episode is for anyone who’s ever asked themselves, “Why does this feel so hard?” or “Is this really my choice?”

It’s not just about how to make decisions — it’s about how to make them with clarity, compassion, and connection to yourself. Whether you're exploring personal development, mental health, or just learning how to stop overthinking every life choice — this one's for you.

As always, take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and be kind to yourself in the process.

Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro & personal story 03:00 – The emotional cycle of decision fatigue 10:45 – What are invisible family rules? 14:30 – Legacy burdens & how they show up 20:00 – Making choices that reflect your life now 29:00 – Final thoughts and gentle reminders

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Leaving a Narcissistic Parent // How to Emotionally Distance from a Narcissistic Parent

This episode came from a YouTube listener’s question on how to leave a narcissistic relationship — and for me, that brought up one of the hardest experiences I’ve worked through: leaving a narcissistic parent.

In this episode, I share my personal story of growing up with a narcissistic parent and what the emotional process of leaving really looked like — because it wasn’t clean, it wasn’t quick, and it definitely didn’t happen all at once.

These relationships aren’t just painful — they’re confusing. A narcissistic parent relationship can blur your sense of self so much that you don’t even realise how far you’ve lost your voice until you start to get it back.

Here’s what I share in this episode:

• Why leaving a narcissistic parent feels emotionally impossible

• A personal story from one of the most painful moments of my life — and how my dad’s reaction made everything painfully clear

• How shame, guilt, and emotional manipulation kept me stuck for years

• Why therapy became the turning point — and what it felt like to hear a professional say, “It’s not you.”

• What rebuilding self-trust actually looked like (and why I couldn’t do it alone)

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic parent where everything is always about them, where your feelings are minimized, and you constantly question yourself — please know: You are not too sensitive. You’re not broken. And you are not alone.

This isn’t about blame. It’s about choosing your mental health. It’s about honoring your truth — even when that means walking away from someone who was supposed to love you.

Recommendations from this episode //

📚 Earth To Moon by Moon Unit Zappa 👉 https://www.amazon.com.au/Earth-Moon-Memoir-Unit-Zappa/dp/0063113341

📚 I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy 👉 https://amzn.asia/d/gfSBzJt

🧠 Havening Therapy 👉 https://www.havening.org/directory/grid/practitioners-list-grid

🧠 EMDR Therapy 👉 https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/

Join the email community // Get reflections, insights, and practical tools to support your personal development journey—delivered straight to your inbox. 👉 https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/

Say hi // TikTok → https://tiktok.com/@selfdevelopmentcollect Instagram → https://instagram.com/selfdevelopmentcollective/ Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/selfdevelopmentcollective/

Free Inner Critic Meditation

https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/free-inner-critic-meditation

In this episode, I open up about my personal journey with the inner critic—how it held me back, and how I’ve slowly learned to work with it rather than against it using the powerful lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy.

For years, I tried everything: affirmations, mindset shifts, journaling... but nothing helped silence that critical voice inside me. It wasn’t until I discovered IFS that I completely shifted my approach to working with the inner critic.

Together, we’ll explore:

• What Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy says about the inner critic

• Why trying to "silence" your inner critic often backfires

• The connection between your inner critic and childhood experiences

• A simple but powerful reframe that helped me soften my self-talk

• Book recommendation: Freedom from the Inner Critic by Jay Earley & Bonnie Weiss

Whether your inner critic sounds like “You’re not good enough,” or keeps pushing you to “do more, be more,” this episode is here to remind you: you are not alone. And there is a gentle way forward.

Resources for this episode //

Freedom From Your Inner Critic - Bonnie Weiss & Jay Early

https://www.amazon.com.au/Freedom-Your-Inner-Critic-Self-Therapy/dp/1604079428

No Bad Parts - Richard Schwartz

https://www.amazon.com.au/No-Bad-Parts-Restoring-Wholeness/dp/1785045113

Internal Family Systems - Richard Schwartz

https://www.amazon.com.au/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-Second/dp/B0D6NL2Y8C

Join the email community //

Get reflections, insights, and practical tools to support your personal development journey—delivered straight to your inbox.

👉 https://selfdevelopmentcollective.com/email-sign-up/

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