Here's the thing about self abandonment in relationships: it arrives quietly. A text lands. Something under your ribs says "I'm not ready." Your thumb types "yeah, sure" anyway.Free this episode — The Five Rituals of Relational Alchemy, five ways to tend what's between you: lindsayjames.love/five-ritualsThe night before we recorded this, Lindsay sent Kris a text — did she want to talk about something tender and still moving in her? Kris felt herself start to override her own no. So we brought that into the room and made it the whole conversation. This one happens live between the two of us.We get into capacity, and how you clock yours dropping. Breath. Clarity before you speak. Asking "do you have space for me right now?" before you hand someone the heavy thing. Who you take it to, and who you don't. And the sacred council: the few people who can hear you all the way through without fixing you.Where do you abandon yourself first — and who could you bring it to tonight?(00:00) Welcome(02:27) The text that landed the night before(05:53) Keeping two people in the room(07:31) Roles, and the pressure to speak(10:42) Capacity, and noticing when it drops(14:09) Breath(16:37) Clarity before you speak(18:18) "Are you available?"(22:36) Who you bring it to(27:13) The pause(28:21) The sacred council(31:54) When you're in the squirrel(35:09) A practice: sort your people(39:26) Evolution is part of the designCommunion — the couples communication course. This is where communication becomes communion: lindsayjames.love/pages/communion-courseYour hosts:Lindsay James — ceremonialist, couples practitioner, death doula — lindsayjames.loveKris Prochaska — therapist + relationship guide — instagram.com/krisprochaskadesignWhat Say Ye. Two friends. Since 2013. One good question at a time. lindsayjames.love/whatsayyeSo, what say ye?