What if the fastest way to a stronger marriage isn’t compromise, but better teamwork? After celebrating a number-one Amazon launch, I took a hard look at what actually helped us get there—clear roles, honest communication, and a shared commitment to play the same game on the same side. The result is a practical, story-rich guide to treating marriage like the ultimate team sport, with four moves you can use tonight.

I start by reframing “opposites” as assets: the planner and the risk-taker, the night owl and the early bird, the introvert and the extrovert. Instead of fighting to be the same, I show how to deploy differences like positions on the field so your team covers more ground with less friction.

Then I talk about offense and defence, who pushes the ball forward in finances, fun, and intimacy, and who protects the goal with boundaries, savings, and rest, so you can balance initiative with stability without making it personal.

From there, I dig into communication that actually works: daily 20-minute huddles to align priorities, weekly date nights for team bonding, and a yearly strategy getaway to recalibrate goals. I dismantle the mind-reading myth with real scripts for clear asks, and break down why keeping score breeds rivalry while an us-vs-problem mindset restores momentum. You’ll hear candid examples, from celebrating wins to handling those “seams” where balls drop and leave with a simple weekly challenge to spot, name, and thank each other’s strengths.

If you’re ready to stop arguing about who’s right and start winning together, this episode gives you the plays, the language, and the mindset to build a championship marriage.

Bad Marriage Advice is now an Amazon #1 Best Seller. If you haven’t gotten your copy yet, go get your copy here: https://a.co/d/4XaHmA5.
And if you’ve gotten your copy and had a chance to look through it, do me a huge solid and go back to Amazon and leave a review here: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review/?&asin=B0FQ46HG3S.

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Today's interview is with my oldest son, Jake and his new wife, Livvy to chat about the new book I wrote for them and unpack five of the most common myths that sabotage new marriages and trade them for simple habits that build trust, respect and joy. Thinks we talk about in the episode are:

• faith first, spouse second as good advice from Livvy's Dad
• seeing parents model affection, repair and service
• differentiation over “you complete me”
• mind reading myths versus clear, simple requests
• growth includes discomfort and honest repair
• why happy couples do fight and how to do it well
• address small stuff early to prevent resentment
• learning together through books and shared language
• teamwork during stressful seasons and daily service
• date night as a sacred ritual for connection

If you’re newly engaged, early in marriage, or simply ready to trade fairytales for a stronger relationship, this one’s for you. Listen, share with a partner, and tell us: which myth are you ready to replace? If you enjoyed this conversation, you'll definately love my new book - Bad Marriage Advice: Debunking Myths That Will Make You Miserable and What To Do Instead. It's available October 1st on Amazon. Go to www.badmarriageadvice.com to get the book!

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Bad sexual advice is one of the top reasons couples struggle early in marriage, often because most grow up with distorted expectations about what a healthy sex life looks like.

• Sex advice is usually messed up because the topic is taboo in most families
• Most couples start marriage with distorted expectations about their sex life
• "A Good Wife Keeps Her Husband Satisfied" creates an unhealthy obligation dynamic
• Healthy sex is mutual with both partners free to say yes or no
• The myth that "men always want it and women never do" oversimplifies desire
• Desire varies from person to person and changes in every season of life
• Understanding "bridges to desire" helps couples communicate about intimacy
• The myth that "great sex should happen naturally" creates disappointment
• Most couples have one partner with spontaneous desire and one with responsive desire
• Great sex takes communication, intentionality, and sometimes scheduling
• Sex is a journey, not a destination – you'll grow and learn together
• Sex is more about connection than performance
• Communication is essential – you can't fix what you don't talk about
• Sexual satisfaction gets better over time when you make it a priority

Go get your copy of Bad Marriage Advice on October 1st, and join me next week for a special episode where I'll interview my oldest son and his wife about what they wish they'd known before marriage.

If you are ready to work with a coach around these topics, email me at: moni@monicatanner.com.

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A marriage advice detox can transform your relationship by eliminating harmful myths and replacing them with practical communication skills. Bad marriage advice like "never go to bed angry" or "happy wife, happy life" often sounds good but leads to frustration and resentment when applied to real relationships.

• Identify the marriage beliefs and advice you've been operating under
• Challenge unhelpful advice by asking if it's actually serving your relationship
• Replace false beliefs with communication skills that foster connection
• Implement the 3% rule: daily communication, weekly date nights, yearly check-ins
• Many couples give up prematurely because they're holding themselves to impossible standards
• The common thread in all bad marriage advice is lazy communication
• Write new rules specifically for your marriage instead of following generic advice

My new book "Bad Marriage Advice: Debunking Myths That'll Make You Miserable and What to Do Instead" launches October 1st! Join my launch team by emailing moni@monicatanner.com or sign up for the waitlist at badmarriageadvice.com to be notified when it's available.

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Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife explores how moving beyond validation-seeking creates deeper, more authentic intimate connections in marriage, explaining that true intimacy requires embracing differences rather than demanding constant agreement.

• Distinguishing between validation and true intimacy in relationships
• Understanding the three unhealthy relationship patterns: pressuring our partner, yielding to avoid conflict, or creating parallel lives
• Recognizing that we marry people for their differences but then often resent those same differences
• Learning to weather invalidation without falling apart or becoming defensive
• Developing the capacity to truly listen to our partner's perspective without immediately defending ourselves
• Identifying our "losing strategy" – our default response under pressure that undermines connection
• Approaching conflict with curiosity about our partner's experience rather than taking it personally
• Beginning difficult conversations by acknowledging where our partner is right about us
• Understanding marriage as a spiritual journey that expands our capacity to love and be known

Get your copy of Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife's new book "That We Might Have Joy: Sexuality as a Path to Spirituality for Latter-day Saints" available September 30th on Amazon or through her website at finlayson-fife.com.

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Conflict and differences in marriage don't mean you married the wrong person; they simply mean you're two human beings from different backgrounds working together to build a life. Statistics show "incompatibility" is the leading cause of divorce, but what couples often interpret as irreconcilable differences are actually normal variations in perspective.

• Differences between spouses are normal and healthy, not red flags
• The idea that real love should feel effortless is a damaging myth
• Conflict isn't a sign of incompatibility but an opportunity for growth
• Working through differences builds intimacy and connection
• My husband and I had completely opposite backgrounds regarding travel and dining out
• Early conversations about money and lifestyle were extremely strained
• It took a decade to find solutions that worked for both of us
• We created unique approaches to travel and date nights that blend both perspectives
• Successful couples don't agree on everything - they collaborate creatively
• Turning differences into strengths makes marriages unbreakable

My book "Bad Marriage Advice: Debunking Myths That Will Make You Miserable And What To Do Instead" launches October 1st. Email me at moni@monicatanner.com if you'd like to join the launch team and help get it into as many hands as possible.

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Marriage advice is everywhere, but much of it is outdated, misguided, or flat-out harmful to your relationship, no matter how well-intentioned it may be.

• Happy couples don't fight - FALSE: Conflict is like exercise for your relationship and helps you grow stronger
• The myth of "don't sweat the small stuff" can lead to an explosion after years of suppressing irritation
• Compromise is outdated advice that leaves both partners with less than they want
• Collaboration creates solutions that multiply the best of both positions instead of subtracting from each
• Love is a foundation but requires communication skills, conflict resolution, and intentional connection to build lasting marriage
• Your differences aren't proof you picked the wrong person - they can become your greatest strengths when you learn to navigate them together
• Believing these myths sets expectations that don't match reality, which creates resentment

To be part of my book launch team for "Bad Marriage Advice: Debunking Myths That Will Make You Miserable and What To Do Instead", releasing October 1st, email me at moni@monicatanner.com. For updates and bonuses, visit badmarriageadvice.com.

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Traditional marriage advice often sounds wise but can secretly damage relationships when applied to modern marriages. In this episode, we examine five common marriage myths that might be undermining your relationship and explore healthier alternatives.

• The dangers of "never go to bed angry" and how it leads to sleep deprivation and worsened arguments
• Why "happy wife, happy life" creates an impossible burden on one spouse and ignores both partners' needs
• How "find someone who completes you" leads to unhealthy codependency instead of partnership
• The myth that happy couples don't fight, when research shows healthy couples simply repair better after a fight
• Why compromise is outdated and collaboration creates better solutions for both partners
• Bad marriage advice is anything that makes communication lazy or doesn't require vulnerability
• Plus, ten more marriage myths are explored in depth in the book

My new book "Bad Marriage Advice" launches September 30th! Email moni@monicatanner.com to join the launch team or visit www.badmarriageadvice.com for more information and bonuses.

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