Helping the Helpers: Maria Zabeti on Fatigue, Boundaries, CBT, and Brainspotting

Dr. Bethany Valenti interviews Maria Zabeti, a California-licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in working with helping professionals. Maria shares her path to therapy as a second career after years of service-oriented work, including as a medical assistant, and explains her passion for connecting with people and being part of their stories. They discuss common themes among helpers—fatigue, resentment, rumination, stress, anxiety, feeling unappreciated at work and at home, difficulty identifying personal needs and values, and challenges with boundaries that can be rooted in childhood roles and family messages. Maria describes her clinical approach using CBT (including a negative thought journal, feelings charts, evidence for/against thoughts, and alternative thoughts), values clarification, and boundary-setting as gradual “muscle-building,” along with elements of positive psychology focused on self-esteem and self-love. She also explains how and when she introduces brainspotting for trauma and difficult emotions.

To learn more about Maria:

Website

Psychology Today

Facebook

LinkedIn

To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD:

Bethany's Website

Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram

Bethany's Instagram

Bethany's Facebook Page

Things we talked about:

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
Feelings Wheel
Brainspotting

00:00 Welcome + Meet Maria Zabeti (Helping the Helpers)
01:12 Maria’s Path to Therapy: From Medical Assistant to MFT
04:13 Why Psychology Over HR: The Need for Real Connection
06:00 Who Are “Helping Professionals”? Defining the Umbrella
09:24 The Appreciation Gap: Stress at Work and at Home
10:39 Over-Functioning, Exhaustion & Resentment (The Push-Pull)
17:05 Losing Yourself: Needs, Hobbies, and Values Clarification
19:47 Tools in Session: Feelings Charts to Unlock Emotions
24:42 CBT for Helpers: Negative Thought Journal + Reality Testing
28:11 CBT Example: “My Boss Doesn’t Appreciate Me” Reframed
33:16 Pros, Cons, and Next Steps When Work Isn’t Meeting Your Needs
34:20 Your Worth Isn’t Your Job: Meaning, Identity, and Self-Esteem
35:30 Setting Boundaries at Work (After-Hours Calls & Saying No)
37:28 Where People-Pleasing Starts: Childhood Roles and Learned Beliefs
39:45 Roadblocks to Change: Spouse Expectations, Pressure, and Feeling Trapped
41:39 When to Use Brainspotting: Trauma, Loss, and Toxic Relationship Stress
46:52 How Brainspotting Works: Eye Position, Body Sensations, and Debriefing
54:43 Wrap-Up Q&A: Practice Details, Self-Care, Misconceptions, and Where to Find Her

Welcome to the Say Hello to your therapist podcast hosted by Dr. Bethany Valenti. In this episode, Dr. Valenti interviews Dr. Kimberly Richards, a therapist specializing in anxiety, trauma, and EMDR therapy. They discuss their experiences with community mental health and how trauma often manifests in various ways such as anxiety, depression, or ADHD. Dr. Richards shares her journey to becoming a therapist, the challenges faced, and her transition to private practice. The conversation delves into the intricacies of trauma therapy, including the use of EMDR, understanding dissociative symptoms, and the importance of addressing trauma for effective mental health treatment. The episode offers insights into how EMDR therapy works, its effectiveness, and the protocols involved. Listeners are encouraged to take care of themselves as the discussion involves heavy topics such as sexual abuse and trauma.

To learn more about Kim:

https://www.birchrunpsych.com/

To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD:

Bethany's Website

Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram

Bethany's Instagram

Bethany's Facebook Page

Things we talked about:
Dr. Amber Lyda and her episode on the podcast (Episode 1!)
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk
Married with Children show
DSM 5
The Living Legacy of Trauma Flipchart by Janina Fisher
Got Your Six service dogs
Coulda Had a V8
PsyPact Map
Fiona Baker Marigold Island Series

00:00 Introduction and Content Warning
01:18 Kim's Journey to Becoming a Therapist
02:00 Challenges and Experiences in Education
05:31 Working in the Prison System
09:50 Transition to Private Practice
13:35 Understanding Trauma and Anxiety
20:19 Exploring Covert Trauma
31:33 Dissociation and Trauma Responses
44:41 Exploring Trauma and EMDR Therapy
45:13 Virtual EMDR: Tools and Techniques
47:12 The Science Behind EMDR
49:33 Explaining EMDR to Clients
52:38 EMDR Protocols and Phases
55:22 Using Olfactory Cues in EMDR
58:11 Client Experiences and Feedback
01:18:32 Concluding Thoughts and Resources

Join Dr. Bethany Valenti on the 'Say Hello to Your Therapist' podcast as she interviews Keely Rodriguez. Keely shares her journey from various careers to becoming a therapist specializing in trauma, anxiety, and grief for middle-aged and perimenopausal women. The discussion also delves into therapeutic techniques like EMDR and brain spotting, comparing their uses and benefits. Additionally, the conversation touches on the unique challenges faced by midlife women and the importance of addressing mental health during this transitional phase.

To learn more about Keely:
Website

Keely's Instagram

Keely's Blog Therapy for Grown Ass Women

Keely's YouTube Channel

To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD:

Bethany's Website

Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram

Bethany's Instagram

Bethany's Facebook Page

Things we talked about:
We Do Not Care Club aka Melani Sanders

EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

Brainspotting and Dr. David Grand

Dr. Dan Siegel Hand Model of the Brain

Perimenopause

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
01:17 Meet Keely Rodriguez: A Journey to Becoming a Therapist
02:27 Keely's Career Transition and Early Experiences
04:27 Specializing in Women's Mental Health
09:53 Working with the Hispanic Community
13:51 Exploring Brainspotting and EMDR
38:44 Session Structure and Client Follow-Up
40:15 The Importance of Therapeutic Relationships
42:36 Brainspotting and EMDR Techniques
43:41 Impact of COVID on Therapy
44:22 Understanding Midlife and Perimenopause
46:11 Emotional and Physical Challenges of Midlife
56:39 Addressing Anxiety and Depression in Midlife
58:46 Biological and Lifestyle Factors in Mental Health
01:10:30 Therapist's Personal Insights and Practices
01:17:13 Contact Information and Final Thoughts

Join Bethany Valenti as she chats with Nicole Byrne, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in people pleasing and burnout. In this episode, they discuss the signs of people pleasing, the impact of being a people pleaser on personal fulfillment, and the role of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Nicole shares her five-point checklist for identifying trustworthy relationships and offers insights into managing people pleasing behaviors. They explore actionable strategies for self-compassion, setting boundaries, and fostering authentic connections.

To learn more about Nicole:

Website: https://counselingwithnicole.com/

Is This Person Trustworthy? A 5-Point Checklist for People-Pleasers: https://counselingwithnicole.com/new-blog/2025/9/17/is-this-person-trustworthy-a-5-point-checklist-for-people-pleasers

YouTube video: 5 traits of trustworthy people https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNmb17LUdG8

General blog page: https://counselingwithnicole.com/new-blog

YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@NicoleByrne-LMFT

To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD:

Bethany's Website

Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram

Bethany's Instagram

Bethany's Facebook Page

Things we talked about:

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

The Resident on Netflix

Kpop Demon Hunters on Netflix

The Big Year Film

Surface Pressure from Encanto

The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna

House of the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast

01:07 Meet Nicole Byrne: Journey to Becoming a Therapist

03:31 Understanding People Pleasing and Burnout

05:19 Defining People Pleasing

10:35 Challenges of People Pleasing in Motherhood

14:30 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Insights

24:30 Balancing Kindness and Self-Care

35:20 Distinguishing Between Good and Kind

35:53 The Hollow Nature of Niceness

36:31 Authenticity in Relationships

37:37 The Challenge of Simple Truths

38:28 Recovering from People Pleasing

39:57 Building Balanced Relationships

40:17 Traits of Trustworthy People

40:52 The Importance of Consideration

49:33 Sincerity and Responsibility

51:58 Reliability and Competence

55:06 Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up

Therapy for Christian Women: Navigating Faith and Trauma with Christian Counselor Michelle Coyle

Join Bethany as she chats with Michelle Coyle, a licensed professional counselor specializing in EMDR treatment for Christian women. In this episode, they discuss Michelle's journey into therapy, her work with Christian women dealing with trauma, religious abuse, and self-esteem issues, and how she integrates faith into her practice. They explore common themes in Michelle's therapy sessions, how faith and psychology can work together, and tools like prayer and medication for healing. Michelle shares her approach to intensive therapy and the importance of kindness, boundaries, and empowering clients to take control of their mental health.

To learn more about Michelle:

Emdrpittsburgh.com

Mental Health for Christian Women Podcast

Instagram

Things we talked about:

How We Love By Milan and Kay Yerkovich

Holy Disruptor by Amy Duggar King

Monte Mader Instagram

To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD:

www.bethanyvalenti.com

Say Hello to Your Therapist Instagram

Bethany's Instagram

Bethany's Facebook

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
01:48 Meet Michelle Coyle: Journey to Becoming a Therapist
03:33 Specializing in Christian Counseling
07:36 Addressing Church Hurt and Abuse
11:22 Empowering Christian Women
29:57 Balancing Science and Spirituality
31:33 The Intersection of Psychology and Faith
32:34 Therapists' Views on Spirituality in Therapy
34:00 Challenges in Integrating Faith and Therapy
35:05 Personal Experiences with Faith and Mental Health
38:25 Tools and Techniques in Therapy
45:31 Incorporating Faith in EMDR Therapy
49:31 The Rise of Intensive Therapy Sessions
51:33 Wrap-Up and Final Thoughts

In this episode, Bethany is joined by Dr. Sophia Haeri, an ADHD, academic strategy, and executive functioning coach. Sophia shares her journey to becoming a therapist, her experiences with ADHD, and the importance of executive functioning coaching. We explore what executive functioning coaching is, who can benefit from it, and how it can help individuals struggling with studies or life's demands. Additionally, Sophia such as shame and anxiety, and the ways coaching can provide customized support for each individual's needs.

To learn more about Sophia:

Organized-mind.com

Bellewoodpsychology.com

To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD:

Bethany's Website

Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram

Bethany's Instagram

Bethany's Facebook Page

Things we talked about:

How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis

You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? By Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guest

01:30 Sophia's Journey to Becoming a Therapist

04:31 Discovering ADHD and Executive Functioning Challenges

07:38 The Role of Executive Functioning Coaching

20:51 Understanding Executive Functioning Skills

26:31 Diagnosing and Managing ADHD and Related Challenges

29:31 The Beginning of an Executive Functioning Coaching Practice

30:04 Transforming a Struggling Student's Academic Performance

30:57 The Importance of Diagnosis and Labels

31:55 Long-Term Coaching and Its Impact

32:17 How People Discover Executive Functioning Coaching

33:29 Expanding the Client Base Beyond Students

34:11 The Intersection of Therapy and Coaching

36:38 Practical Strategies for Managing ADHD

37:52 The Role of Prioritization in Executive Functioning

44:59 Finding the Right Support for Executive Functioning

46:39 Wrap-Up and Final Thoughts

What are Therapy Intensives with Steffeny Feld

Join Dr. Bethany Valenti on the 'Say Hello to Your Therapist' podcast as she chats with Steffeny Feld, a therapist who only provides therapy intensives in her practice. Steffeny shares her unique journey from traditional therapy to intensives, alongside practical insights about what therapy intensives are, how they work, the types available, and who might benefit from them. Tune in for valuable info for both clients and therapists!

Learn more about Steffeny:

Her Practice

Steffeny’s YouTube Playlist on EMDR Intensives

For Therapists:

Steffeny’s YouTube Playlist of Free Trainings for Therapists

https://www.intensivedesignlab.com/

Intensive Design Lab Facebook Group

Which Intensive Format is Right for You? Quiz

To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD:

Bethany's Website

Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram

Bethany's Instagram

Bethany's Facebook Page

Things we talked about:

EMDR Intensives: What is an EMDR Intensive?

House of Colour: Color Matching/Styling

Tony Paramenter, Therapeutic Fly-fishing with EMDR (TF-EMDR),

Group Grief Intensives

Joanna Barrett: Widows and Wellness Retreat

The Diplomat with Keri Russell

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast

02:26 Meet Steffeny Feld: Journey to Becoming a Therapist

05:40 Transition to Private Practice and EMDR

08:34 Discovering Therapy Intensives

12:30 The Impact and Benefits of Therapy Intensives

18:21 Different Formats and Customization of Therapy Intensives

35:51 Exploring Trauma Modalities

36:16 Addressing Anxiety, OCD, and Phobias

38:41 Perinatal Therapy and New Parents

39:59 Seasonal and Flexible Therapy Options

40:33 Cultural and Neurodivergent Considerations

41:19 Debriefing After Intensives

44:07 Unique and Niche Therapy Approaches

48:53 Finding and Funding Therapy Intensives

56:35 Wrap-Up and Final Thoughts

It can be hard to find the right therapist for you. Trying to find a therapist as a man, or as a black man?

Welcome to the Say Hello to Your Therapist podcast, hosted by Dr. Bethany Valenti. In this episode, Dr. Valenti welcomes Dr. Ritch Hall, a licensed clinical psychologist and the owner of Psych Works Clinic, specializing in African American cultural issues and treating various mental health concerns. Dr. Hall, also the president of the Cincinnati chapter of the Association of Black Psychologists, shares insights into his career journey, his approach to therapy, and his work with men and mental health. The conversation covers everything from Dr. Hall's motivations for becoming a therapist, the challenges and rewards of working with diverse populations, to the importance of systems-oriented therapy. Tune in for an engaging discussion that touches on development, the importance of therapeutic relationships, and the role of personal interests and experiences in shaping professional practice. This is a must-listen for those interested in mental health, therapeutic practices, and personal growth.

Learn more about Ritch and PsychWorks:

https://psychworksllc.com/

Black Men's Support Group

Psychologize U Podcast

Instagram

TikTok

Hallspace Podcast

To learn more about Bethany Valenti, PsyD:

Bethany's Website

Say Hello to Your Therapist Podcast Instagram

Bethany's Instagram

Bethany's Facebook Page

Things we talked about:

PsyPact Map

NewPath Child & Family Solutions (formerly St. Joseph Orphanage)

Lindner Center of Hope

Beckett Springs

Central Clinic Behavioral Services

Peppermint Peak Tea

Old Spice Lavender & Mint Soap

Marvel Movies

Steven Universe

Zelda

Fallout

Superman

Foundations

The Three Body Problem

Moby Dick

K-Pop Demon Hunters

Squishmallow

Fantastic Four

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guest

01:38 Welcoming Dr. Ritch Hall

01:54 Dr. Hall's Journey to Becoming a Therapist

04:09 Therapist Office and Personal Interests

04:33 Podcasting and Personal Life

06:22 Challenges and Rewards of Therapy

10:30 Graduate School and Family Life

14:18 Working with Children and Adolescents

17:21 Philosophy and Societal Reflections

34:32 Therapeutic Relationships and Ethics

39:14 Navigating Relationship Dynamics

39:48 Men's Mental Health Insights

42:18 Therapeutic Challenges and Growth

43:52 The Role of Systems in Therapy

50:48 Group Therapy for Black Men

53:51 Choosing the Right Therapist

56:43 Nerdy Connections in The