What happens when you're the strong one everyone depends on, but you're quietly falling apart yourself?

On this episode of STORYTIME with Lori, I'm pulling up a chair with Nicole O’Brien for a conversation that goes well beyond personal branding, LinkedIn, or the highlight reels we put out into the world.

Nicole is a mother, leader, marketer, and woman who has navigated devastating family loss while continuing to show up for the people who needed her. She opens up about losing her brother, carrying grief into the workplace, stepping away from healthcare, and discovering that healing doesn't necessarily mean becoming the person you used to be.

But don't worry. We're not spending 30 minutes crying into our coffee.

We're also talking about '90s hip-hop, Biggie, Tupac, Taylor Swift, raising brutally honest children, the unexpected joy of finding your people on LinkedIn, and why getting older can bring a beautiful freedom from other people's opinions.

In this conversation:

• Why authenticity feels harder than it should
• How grief affects leadership, work, and emotional capacity
• What grieving employees actually need from their employers
• Finding confidence in your forties and embracing change
• Building a personal brand without losing your personality
• Using music, humor, and storytelling to connect with people
• Why you don't have to return to your old self to heal

This isn't a five-step guide to becoming your authentic self. Thank goodness.

It's an honest conversation about being a whole human being while life keeps happening.

🎙️ STORYTIME with Lori — Real people. Real stories. No polished perfection required.

There's always room for one more.

Explore the show: https://storytimewithlori.com/

Healing While Working: The Shit We Carry That Nobody Sees ❤️‍🩹

Nobody really prepares us for healing while life keeps moving. There’s no convenient pause button for grief, disappointment, anxiety, heartbreak, family struggles, or those seasons when you simply don’t feel like yourself. The meeting is still at 9:00. Your team still needs you. The kids need dinner. The mortgage is due. Life basically says, “That sounds rough. Anyway… keep going.” 😂 And somehow, we do.

Over the last few years, I’ve spent a lot of time working on myself. Therapy. Journaling. Breath work. Boundaries. Learning my triggers. Unlearning things I carried for far too long. And somewhere in all of that work, one lesson got really loud: being strong enough to carry something doesn’t mean it was ever yours to carry.

That lesson shows up at work, too. High performers see a gap and fill it. Something falls, we catch it. Nobody owns it, we step in. Something catches fire? 🔥 Fine, hand me the hose. There’s pride in being that person, and sometimes it absolutely is leadership. But I’ve also learned there’s a difference between stepping up and overfunctioning, between being committed and carrying everything, and between leadership and martyrdom.

Strong organizations shouldn’t depend on a handful of talented people quietly holding up the ceiling. Great leadership creates clarity, accountability and trust. It puts good people in the right places, gives them room to be great, and recognizes that being the person who can solve every problem isn’t nearly as powerful as building a team where one person doesn’t have to.

And somewhere in all our conversations about performance, growth and results, we can’t forget that every person walking into work is bringing an entire life with them. Someone can be crushing their number while grieving. Leading a team while rebuilding their confidence. Sitting across from you looking completely composed while carrying something you know absolutely nothing about.

That doesn’t mean lowering the bar. I believe deeply in accountability and high standards. But accountability and humanity can sit at the same table. We can expect excellence and still ask someone how they’re really doing. We can give grace without abandoning accountability. We can be ambitious and still be healing.

And if you’re the one doing some healing right now, remember this: you don’t have to become some perfectly healed version of yourself before you’re allowed to succeed. You can be healing and ambitious, vulnerable and powerful, still figuring some things out and still be damn good at what you do. ❤️

So maybe the question isn’t always, “How much more can I carry?” Maybe it’s “Is all of this actually mine to carry?”

That answer might change a few things. ❤️🦁

#healingwhileworking #mentalhealthatwork #leadership #workplaceculture #emotionalintelligence #executiveleadership #womeninleadership #authenticleadership #selfleadership #highperformers #workplacewellbeing #careergrowth #storytimewithlori

I met Tara Akins before I knew most of her story and I am glad I did. We'd crossed paths before, but it was sitting in a box at a San Diego Wave game with our mutual friend Enzo where we actually got to know each other. And somewhere between soccer, laughing, talking about life and discovering we're both Leos—which honestly explained a few things 😂🦁—I remember thinking, I really like this woman.

Not because I knew what she'd survived. I didn't.

I liked her.

And that's important, because Tara has one hell of a story, but I didn't want to sit down with her and spend 45 minutes talking about cancer.

So we didn't.

We talked about growing up in a family that showed up physically but didn't always give her the emotional safety she needed. We talked about learning to read a room, keeping everybody happy and becoming a people-pleaser before you even realize that's what you're doing. And Tara said something that I think a lot of us learn way too fucking late: you shouldn't have to perform to earn love. Pasted text

We talked about her wife. Her kids. Chosen family. Being queer. Being a mom. Working in healthcare for more than two decades and genuinely loving taking care of people.

And then, yes, we talked about cancer.

Tara went into the ER thinking she might have a herniated disc. She left with a completely different life. Kidney failure. Lesions throughout her bones. Multiple myeloma. Two weeks in the hospital. Treatment. Eventually a bone marrow transplant. Pasted text

But here's the part that got me.

She didn't really fall apart when everything was happening. She fell apart afterward.

When she wasn't working. Wasn't taking care of patients. Wasn't taking care of everybody else. Wasn't being the version of Tara she'd spent years knowing how to be.

She had to figure out who the hell she was when she wasn't useful. Eventually she realized:

“Me being Tara is enough.” Pasted text

Yeah.

Sit with that one for a minute.

And because Tara refuses to bullshit about any of this, there's no magical post-cancer montage here either. 😂 She went to therapy. She took medication when she needed it. She struggled with her changing body. She watched the Food Network while she was nauseous and dreamed about what she could eat when she felt better. She admits she didn't suddenly start exercising like crazy or become someone who loves drinking water.

Thank God. A real person. 😂 Pasted text

This is #cancer, #multiplemyeloma and #cancersurvivorship, yes. But it's also marriage, #chosenfamily, motherhood, being #lgbtq, #mentalhealth, #therapy, healthcare, #peoplepleasing, boundaries, identity and trying to figure out who the fuck you are when life changes the rules without asking permission.

Somewhere near the end, two Leos started talking about roaring.

Turns out a roar isn't always loud. Sometimes it's letting someone take care of you. Sometimes it's saying no. Sometimes it's admitting you're not okay. And sometimes it's finally realizing you don't have to do a damn thing to earn your place here.

Tara, thank you for giving me you. ❤️

🎙️ Storytime with Lori — The Story Underneath the Story

#storytimewithlori #tarakins #multiplemyeloma #cancersurvivor #lgbtq #chosenfamily #mentalhealth #womenshealth #patientadvocacy #womeninhealthcare #selfworth #boundaries #healing #podcast