You've heard her say it a hundred times: "I need help with the mental load." But what the hell does that even mean?

Alessandro breaks down the three layers every task actually has and why most men only see one of them. This isn’t vague or theoretical. It’s a practical framework that puts real structure around what’s been happening in your household.

Using real examples from his own marriage and coaching clients, Alessandro shows you exactly where you're dropping the ball without even knowing it.

From doing the dishes to buying birthday gifts, he reveals the invisible work your wife has been doing and why she's exhausted even when you think you're pulling your weight.

Chapters:
00:02:06 - The Task You Can See
00:04:30 - Why She's Still Exhausted After You "Help"
00:10:30 - The Gift Test
00:15:20 - The Emotional Toll You're Missing
00:18:47 - Co-Parenting Trap
00:21:30 - Step In Without Becoming Her

Alessandro helps you understand what "partnership" actually looks like in action.

Men who start applying this often see fewer fights, less resentment, and a shift from being managed to actually being on a team.

You'll learn how to spot the difference between helping out and actually owning your share and why that shift changes everything at home.

Stay until the end for Alessandro's breakdown of emotional labor in parenting and how your passive approach might be creating the exact problem you're complaining about.

Listen and learn how to stop being a task-taker and become a real partner.

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Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation.

Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

Ever wonder why your wife gets pissed when you ask "What can I do to help?"

Today Alessandro sits with Zach Watson, mental load coach to translate what your wife has been trying to tell you for years. He unpacks the three levels of labor (physical, mental, and emotional) and why most men only see one of them.

You might be thinking you are doing your part when you ask "What can I do to help?" or "Just make me a list." But here's the thing: you can't help someone who already owns the whole damn operation.

You're not an employee in your own home. You're supposed to be a co-owner.They break down why that mindset is keeping you stuck in boy behavior and wrecking your marriage, even when you think you're trying.

Chapters:
03:18 – Naming The Invisible Work That’s Crushing Couples
04:33 – Why Men Only Wake Up When It’s Almost Too Late
06:50 – Renovations, Resentment, and A Marriage On the Rocks
09:28 – The Three Layers of Labor Men Keep Missing
12:30 – Lunchboxes, Monster Toast, And Everyday Mental Load
17:19 – The “Boring Meeting” That Quietly Saves Your Relationship

From his own separation story to helping hundreds of couples through the Fair Play method, Zach knows exactly where men get stuck and how to get unstuck.

You'll learn how to shift from "just tell me what to do" to actually leading in your home. Zach breaks down the difference between fear-based "doing better" and real ownership, why your wife is carrying invisible weight you can't see, and a simple framework for weekly meetings that actually prevent fights instead of starting them.

Stay until the end to learn the one action that immediately reduces mental load and proves you're thinking like a teammate, not waiting for instructions like a child.

Listen and learn how to stop helping out and start owning your half.

Free Skool Mental Load Basics: Here

Zach Watson: https://www.instagram.com/zachmentalloadcoach

Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now
Doors Close January 3rd

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle

Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE

Subscribe to YouTube

Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/#

Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation.

Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

Why should you be the one to change when she's got issues too?

You're standing in a relationship standoff. She's got her guns up (criticism, contempt), you've got yours (defensiveness, stonewalling). Both of you are waiting for the other to drop theirs first. And while you're both waiting, your marriage is slowly dying.

Alessandro dismantles the "it's not fair" mindset keeping you stuck and shows you why changing first has nothing to do with fairness. He confronts the question every man asks: "Why do I have to be the one to change?"

Chapters:
00:01:14 – The Mexican Standoff Keeping Couples Stuck
00:02:47 – The Two Guns: His Defensiveness vs Her Criticism
00:06:03 – How Society Turned Marriage Into an Unequal Load
00:09:12 – The Life Ship Analogy and the Mental Load Gap
00:15:42 – The Gottman Research Men Never Hear
00:19:31 – Personal Ownership That Transforms a Marriage

Alessandro walks you through the societal pressures women face, the hormonal realities you've never considered, and research from the Gottman Institute proving that when men refuse to accept influence from their wives, there's an 80% chance the marriage falls apart. This is the fastest path to actually fixing your relationship.

You'll discover the "life ship" analogy that reveals why you think you're doing everything right while she's drowning in resentment. Alessandro lays out how your defensiveness feeds her criticism, how your stonewalling makes her feel unsafe, and why clearing your own shit first is the most powerful move you can make, whether she changes or not.

By the end, you'll see why changing first isn't weakness. It's efficiency. It's ownership. And it's the only way to know if your marriage can be saved or if it's time to walk away with clarity.

Listen and learn why the man who drops his gun first actually wins the war.

Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now
Doors Close January 3rd

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle

Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE

Subscribe to YouTube

Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/#

Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation.

Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

What if being emotionally unavailable in your marriage isn't a character flaw but a survival pattern you learned as a boy?

I sit down with Jay Tibbs, a relationship coach who knows what it's like to be emotionally shut down and what it takes to crack open. Jay breaks down the "realm of existence" most men are completely blind to, not because they're weak, but because they were trained out of it.

From boyhood, we learn that emotions are dangerous, that feeling makes you less of a man. But here's the truth: your greatest power is on the other side of what you're avoiding.

Chapters:
02:14 – How Boys Get Trained Out of Feeling
04:37 – Why Men Think It’s “Either Stoic or Weak”
08:49 – Shutdown, Fixing, Disappearing: His Default Patterns
12:58 – The Pain Under the Anger Men Don’t Talk About
19:56 – Turning Pain Into Power Instead of Destruction
23:38 – Why Hyper-Rational Men Can’t Access Emotion
35:09 – Fatherhood, Tears, and the Call That Changed Everything
42:18 – The Message to Men: It’s Not Your Fault, But It Is Your Work

We go deep on how emotional disconnection shows up in marriage: the shutdown, the fixing, the anger that's really pain underneath. Jay shares his own rock-bottom moment (a suicide hotline call that changed everything) and why his wife finally trusted him after he fully went there.

This is about cultivating the strength to feel without being carried away, and using your wife as a guide into territory you've been avoiding your whole life.
If you've ever been told you're emotionally unavailable, if your wife says she can't feel your presence, or if you're stuck and don't know why, this conversation will show you exactly where the gold is buried.

It's not your fault you're disconnected. But it is your responsibility to find your way back.

Listen and learn how listening to your own heart is the warrior move you've been missing.

Connect with Jay: https://www.instagram.com/mrjaytibbs/?hl=en

Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now
Doors Close January 3rd

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle

Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE

Subscribe to YouTube

Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/#

Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation.

Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

What would you actually have to face if you couldn't reach for your phone for the next eight days?

Every time something gets uncomfortable, a tense moment with your wife, an emotion you don't want to feel, or just the weight of your own thoughts you grab your phone. You turn on the TV. You find a distraction. You've built an entire life around avoiding the hard stuff, and it's making you weaker by the day.

Alessandro brings on Hamid Ebadi, a counselor and silent retreat facilitator who strips away the noise and asks one simple question: what happens when you can't run? Hamid doesn't hand you answers wrapped in a bow.

Chapters:
02:18 – Silent retreats in a noisy, hyperconnected world
06:05 – Redefining religion as reconnection to reality
09:19 – Rivers, oceans, and the flavor of truth
11:31 – Why he refuses to give you answers
13:26 – When getting more confused is progress
19:03 – Socrates, not-knowing, and real wisdom
21:18 – For the man who “doesn’t want to think this hard”
25:21 – What actually happens during a silent retreat

Hamid shows you how to ask yourself the right questions. From poetry to philosophy to the raw experience of spending eight days in silence, you'll discover why your comfort zones have actually made you deeply uncomfortable.

If you fill every quiet moment with noise, if you fix problems instead of sitting with them, or if you think meditation is "too soft" you need to hear this.

You'll learn the difference between knowledge and wisdom, why the journey never ends, and how expanding your capacity to sit with hard things might be the most powerful move you make.

By the end, you'll see why discomfort isn't your enemy and why the journey home starts with staying exactly where you are.

Listen and learn why sitting still might be the bravest thing you do this year.

Join a Silent MediationRetreat: https://www.maitri-retreats.com/

Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now
Doors Close January 3rd

MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle

Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE

Subscribe to YouTube

Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/#

Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation.

Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

Did your wife's tone this morning feel like a punch to the gut? What if the problem isn't her, but the boy patterns you're still running?

Alessandro breaks down the four boy behaviors that silently wreck marriages and keep men stuck in patterns they learned decades ago. These aren't surface-level habits.

They're the deep-seated reactions that make you defensive, seeking attention, or quietly hoping she'll just handle your emotions for you. Alessandro pulls from Dr. Arne Rubenstein's boy-to-man model, the same framework that changed his life when his wife told him she needed him to be more of a man or she was leaving.

Chapters:
04:55 – Craving attention instead of teamwork
07:27 – Dodging responsibility in disguise
10:18 – The bins fight that exposed me
13:30 – The urge to defend instead of own
15:30 – When emotions take the wheel
19:20 – Holding the line without fighting back
23:00 – Seeking a mother, not a partner
25:45 – Why you fear the feminine
28:20 – The four behaviors redefined
34:44 – The rite of passage

You'll hear Alessandro's unfiltered stories, from the incident that could've blown up his marriage to the moment he realized he was expecting his wife to be his mother. He doesn't sugar-coat it.

He calls out the "it's not fair" foot-stamping, the defensiveness disguised as logic, and the ways men avoid owning their shit while their relationships slowly die. But he also shows you the path forward: the healthy man behaviors that rebuild trust, respect, and actual partnership.

You know something's off but can't quite name it. You're tired of walking on eggshells. You want to lead without controlling. You want to feel like a man in your relationship again. Alessandro maps the exact patterns keeping you stuck and gives you the framework to walk toward something better.

Listen and learn why becoming a better husband starts with recognizing which boy behaviors you're still running and what to do about them today.

Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now
Doors Close January 3rd

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle

Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE

Subscribe to YouTube

Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/#

Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation.

Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

What if trying so hard to be a "good man" is actually turning you into the worst version of yourself?

Alessandro sits down with wellness coach Mikah Jones to unpack a pattern wrecking modern men: the fear of being perceived as a "bad man." Not bad like your father was. Bad in any way that might disappoint the women in your life.

This fear keeps you trapped. You say yes when you mean no. You walk on eggshells. You lose your backbone one compromise at a time. Mikah reveals why most men measure their worth through their partner's emotions instead of their own truth.

Chapters:
14:35 - The Erosion of Femininity
20:45 - Losing The Spine In Love
33:00 - The Courage To Be Disliked
44:15 - What's Actually Yours to Carry And What Isn't
53:30 - Why Men Are Afraid Their Truth

Alessandro and Mikah explore the difference between all spine and all heart with no spine. They dig into why your body is the only real compass you have. You'll discover why "no" is the most powerful word for building a life you actually want.

They tackle why women resent men who constantly people-please. How defensiveness is just your mind freaking out because you're not rooted. Why following your truth might make you temporarily unlikable but ultimately respected.

If you've ever felt like you're doing everything for your partner but still losing ground, this conversation is for you.

Lsten and learn how to stop measuring yourself through her emotions, build an unshakable presence, and become the kind of man who leads from truth instead of fear.

Follow Mikah: https://www.instagram.com/mikahjonesss?igsh=Nmp3bzR3bTR4eGtu

Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now
Doors Close January 3rd

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle

Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE

Subscribe to YouTube

Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/#

Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation.

Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

In this episode, she breaks down the concept of relationship intelligence: the emotional skills most of us were never taught.

We talk childhood patterns, emotional manipulation vs leadership, and why love alone won’t hold a relationship together.

This is a clear, practical conversation for anyone ready to lead in love instead of survive it.

Connect with Railey:

https://bio.site/raileymolinario

https://www.instagram.com/raileymolinario

⬛️ Free emails to fix your marriage:
👉 https://alessandro-frosali.mykajabi.com/bh2m
⬛️ Work with me:
👉 https://calendly.com/alessandrofrosali/masculine-blueprint-consultation
📷 Instagram: @alessandro_frosali

Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now
Doors Close January 3rd

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle

Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE

Subscribe to YouTube

Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/#

Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation.

Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.