You've heard her say it a hundred times: "I need help with the mental load." But what the hell does that even mean?

Alessandro breaks down the three layers every task actually has and why most men only see one of them. This isn’t vague or theoretical. It’s a practical framework that puts real structure around what’s been happening in your household.

Using real examples from his own marriage and coaching clients, Alessandro shows you exactly where you're dropping the ball without even knowing it.

From doing the dishes to buying birthday gifts, he reveals the invisible work your wife has been doing and why she's exhausted even when you think you're pulling your weight.

Chapters:
00:02:06 - The Task You Can See
00:04:30 - Why She's Still Exhausted After You "Help"
00:10:30 - The Gift Test
00:15:20 - The Emotional Toll You're Missing
00:18:47 - Co-Parenting Trap
00:21:30 - Step In Without Becoming Her

Alessandro helps you understand what "partnership" actually looks like in action.

Men who start applying this often see fewer fights, less resentment, and a shift from being managed to actually being on a team.

You'll learn how to spot the difference between helping out and actually owning your share and why that shift changes everything at home.

Stay until the end for Alessandro's breakdown of emotional labor in parenting and how your passive approach might be creating the exact problem you're complaining about.

Listen and learn how to stop being a task-taker and become a real partner.

Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now
Doors Close January 3rd

MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle

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Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/#

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Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation.

Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

Ever wonder why your wife gets pissed when you ask "What can I do to help?"

Today Alessandro sits with Zach Watson, mental load coach to translate what your wife has been trying to tell you for years. He unpacks the three levels of labor (physical, mental, and emotional) and why most men only see one of them.

You might be thinking you are doing your part when you ask "What can I do to help?" or "Just make me a list." But here's the thing: you can't help someone who already owns the whole damn operation.

You're not an employee in your own home. You're supposed to be a co-owner.They break down why that mindset is keeping you stuck in boy behavior and wrecking your marriage, even when you think you're trying.

Chapters:
03:18 – Naming The Invisible Work That’s Crushing Couples
04:33 – Why Men Only Wake Up When It’s Almost Too Late
06:50 – Renovations, Resentment, and A Marriage On the Rocks
09:28 – The Three Layers of Labor Men Keep Missing
12:30 – Lunchboxes, Monster Toast, And Everyday Mental Load
17:19 – The “Boring Meeting” That Quietly Saves Your Relationship

From his own separation story to helping hundreds of couples through the Fair Play method, Zach knows exactly where men get stuck and how to get unstuck.

You'll learn how to shift from "just tell me what to do" to actually leading in your home. Zach breaks down the difference between fear-based "doing better" and real ownership, why your wife is carrying invisible weight you can't see, and a simple framework for weekly meetings that actually prevent fights instead of starting them.

Stay until the end to learn the one action that immediately reduces mental load and proves you're thinking like a teammate, not waiting for instructions like a child.

Listen and learn how to stop helping out and start owning your half.

Free Skool Mental Load Basics: Here

Zach Watson: https://www.instagram.com/zachmentalloadcoach

Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now
Doors Close January 3rd

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle

Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE

Subscribe to YouTube

Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/#

Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation.

Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.

Why should you be the one to change when she's got issues too?

You're standing in a relationship standoff. She's got her guns up (criticism, contempt), you've got yours (defensiveness, stonewalling). Both of you are waiting for the other to drop theirs first. And while you're both waiting, your marriage is slowly dying.

Alessandro dismantles the "it's not fair" mindset keeping you stuck and shows you why changing first has nothing to do with fairness. He confronts the question every man asks: "Why do I have to be the one to change?"

Chapters:
00:01:14 – The Mexican Standoff Keeping Couples Stuck
00:02:47 – The Two Guns: His Defensiveness vs Her Criticism
00:06:03 – How Society Turned Marriage Into an Unequal Load
00:09:12 – The Life Ship Analogy and the Mental Load Gap
00:15:42 – The Gottman Research Men Never Hear
00:19:31 – Personal Ownership That Transforms a Marriage

Alessandro walks you through the societal pressures women face, the hormonal realities you've never considered, and research from the Gottman Institute proving that when men refuse to accept influence from their wives, there's an 80% chance the marriage falls apart. This is the fastest path to actually fixing your relationship.

You'll discover the "life ship" analogy that reveals why you think you're doing everything right while she's drowning in resentment. Alessandro lays out how your defensiveness feeds her criticism, how your stonewalling makes her feel unsafe, and why clearing your own shit first is the most powerful move you can make, whether she changes or not.

By the end, you'll see why changing first isn't weakness. It's efficiency. It's ownership. And it's the only way to know if your marriage can be saved or if it's time to walk away with clarity.

Listen and learn why the man who drops his gun first actually wins the war.

Become a better husband in 70 days without spending years in therapy: Join The Better Husband Academy Now
Doors Close January 3rd

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

MORE FROM ALESSANDRO FROSALI

Become a Better Husband in Just Two Minutes a Week for Free: HERE

Kill Defensiveness and Becoming the Man You Want to Be: Pick Up Better Husband Kickstart Bundle

Be the first to know about upcoming retreats, workshops, and live Q&As → HERE

Subscribe to YouTube

Follow Alessandro on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alessandro_frosali/#

Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts: HERE

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. Always seek qualified guidance for your personal situation.

Views shared by Alessandro Frosali and his guests reflect their lived experiences and opinions. Every listener’s journey is unique, and no therapeutic relationship is created.