What happens when your wife dies, you're raising three grieving boys, and you have 60 days to leave the country you've called home?

Michael “Mike” Frampton lived that reality.

Before becoming a widowed solo dad, Mike was already managing a marriage marked by serious challenges. His wife, Kim, was a successful doctor and entrepreneur, but behind the scenes, their family was struggling with mental health concerns, relationship instability, and difficult decisions about their children's future.

Then Kim died unexpectedly.

Mike was left raising three young boys in California, facing financial and immigration challenges, and trying to figure out how to get his family back to New Zealand during COVID travel restrictions.

The move home was only the beginning.

Mike shares what those first months looked like: angry children, nightmares, school struggles, exhaustion, and his own need to find a way to function.

Through therapy, parenting education, routines, exercise, and the support of others, Mike began building stability for his family.

And he kept returning to one message for his boys:

You're safe and you're loved.

Matt and Mike have a candid conversation about complicated grief, the parts of a relationship that don't fit neatly into a beautiful love story, and the daily work of raising kids after losing their other parent.

In this episode:

• When grief begins before someone dies
• Raising children through anger, fear, and major life changes
• Why a surviving parent's well-being matters
• How routines helped Mike's boys regain stability
• The parenting lessons Mike learned from The Incredible Years
• Movement, sports, and the role they played in his recovery
• Breathing practices Mike explored after his wife's death
• Finding support when asking for help feels difficult
• Setting boundaries around screens and technology
• What Mike wants his three boys to know about their dad

This is a difficult story, but it is also a conversation about showing up, getting help, and doing the work of parenting when the life you planned no longer exists.

Resources mentioned

• Surf Mastery Podcast — https://surfmastery.com/podcast
• The Incredible Years parenting programs — https://www.incredibleyears.com/early-intervention-programs/parents
• Calm Parenting Podcast — https://celebratecalm.com/
• Safe Surfer — https://safesurfer.io/
• Wim Hof Method — https://www.wimhofmethod.com/breathing-exercises

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Content note: This conversation includes discussion of mental health challenges, substance use, relationship conflict, child safety, sudden death, and traumatic grief. Mike shares his personal experiences and interpretations. The discussion is not medical, mental health, or legal advice.

Ready for more than just listening? Explore the CLIMB framework and support options at https://solodad.life/