What happens when one partner wants sex and the other doesn’t?

Mismatched desire- or desire discrepancy is one of the most common issues Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz see among couples, and it’s a topic they’re asked about again and again.

For this special episode of Sex and the Psyche, we’re turning the tables and putting Jenni and Daniel in the hot seat!

Our friend Karen Bigman, host of Taboo to Truth, generously invited Jenni and Daniel onto her podcast for a candid conversation about desire discrepancy, intimacy, shame, and the challenges couples face when their libidos don't match. We’re so grateful to Karen for allowing us to replay this conversation here on Sex and the Psyche, giving our listeners a chance to hear Jenni and Daniel as guests and get a behind-the-scenes look at how they answer the questions they’re usually the ones asking.

In this first part of the two-part conversation, Jenni and Daniel explore why desire discrepancy happens, what it can look like in long-term relationships, and why the partner with lower desire is never simply “the problem.” They also talk about why some men shut down or go silent when they’re struggling sexually, how shame can take over in the bedroom, and how the right words can open the door to a much more honest and compassionate conversation between partners.

A huge thank-you to Karen Bigman and Taboo to Truth for sharing this conversation with our Sex and the Psyche audience.

Be sure to listen to Part 2 for more of Jenni and Daniel in the hot seat!

And while you're at it, check out Taboo to Truth wherever you listen to podcasts. You may discover your next favorite show!

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