Have you ever felt like you've lost yourself trying to make a relationship work? You go through the motions, trying to be the "good wife," the "submissive woman," the "faithful helper"—but deep inside, something feels off. You’re exhausted, resentful, and unsure how you even got here. In this episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Leslie welcomes psychotherapist and leadership coach Michelle Moffitt for a candid conversation about what it means to wake up, reclaim your voice, and start honoring the woman God created you to be.

Michelle shares her personal journey of trauma, toxic theology, and eventually rediscovering her worth and agency through therapy, self-awareness, boundaries, and faith. You’ll learn how to stop playing small, listen to your intuition, and begin transforming not only your relationships—but your life.

👉 Learn more about Michelle and her work at www.michellemoffitt.com

Key Takeaways:

💔 The Cost of Losing Yourself for the Sake of “We” Michelle opens up about how early trauma and religious pressure led her to sacrifice her identity in order to find belonging. Many women will relate to that pull to be the perfect wife or partner—only to realize they’ve abandoned themselves in the process. Leslie and Michelle expose the lies women are told in church and culture, and the real cost of losing your authentic self.

🧠 Rebuilding Trust in Your Intuition and Judgment One of the deepest wounds in destructive relationships is losing the ability to trust your own gut. Michelle introduces the SPACE tool (Stop, Present, Ask, Change, Express) to help you slow down and become more conscious of the beliefs that are driving your decisions. You'll learn how to retrain your brain to hear God’s voice and your own again.

🛑 Boundaries Aren’t Mean—They’re Holy If you’ve been over-functioning or enabling dysfunction for years, stepping into new boundaries can feel “mean.” Michelle shares practical examples and scripts that helped her draw lines without shame or cruelty—and how those boundaries started to shift the entire relationship dynamic, even when it wasn’t received well.

🧩 The Power of the Enneagram in Healing Understanding your Enneagram type can be a powerful tool for healing and growth—especially if you’ve been stuck in people-pleasing patterns or don’t even know what you like anymore. Michelle explains how the Enneagram goes deeper than personality tests to reveal hidden motives, helping you understand not only yourself, but others, with compassion and clarity.

🗣️ Reclaiming Your Voice—and Why It Changes Everything Using your voice isn’t just about confrontation; it’s about becoming who God made you to be. Michelle and Leslie talk about the discomfort of change, the fear of being alone, and the beauty of showing up in the world as your full self. If you've ever asked, “What’s wrong with me?”—this episode will help you ask instead, “What’s right with me that I’ve buried for too long?”

🌱 Ready to Begin Your Own Healing Journey? If you’re feeling stuck, silenced, or unsure of your next step, you don’t have to walk alone. Leslie’s Conquer program is designed to help Christian women break free from destructive relationships and find clarity, confidence, and courage—grounded in truth and God’s love. 👉 Learn more at www.leslievernick.com/conquer

💛 Closing Encouragement: Sister, you are not selfish for wanting to be whole. God didn’t create you to be a shadow of someone else—He created you to reflect His image. As you reclaim your voice, your boundaries, and your purpose, remember: You are not alone. You are not crazy. And with God's guidance, you can do this. Step by step. One brave decision at a time.

What do you do when trust is shattered, but no one around you seems to take your pain seriously? In today’s deeply honest and hope-filled episode, Leslie sits down with Nick Stumbo, former pastor and Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, who opens up about his personal battle with pornography—and the profound impact it had on his wife, his marriage, and his ministry. Nick's story isn’t just one of addiction—it's about healing, honesty, and hope when everything seems lost.

Together, Leslie and Nick dismantle toxic messaging that pressures wives to “just forgive” or “have more sex,” and instead offer a biblical and brain-based path toward real recovery—one that honors both the betrayed and the struggler.

If you or someone you love is silently suffering in a marriage affected by pornography, this episode will remind you: You’re not alone, and your healing matters.

Nick shares eye-opening statistics from Pure Desire’s recent Barna study, showing that over half of practicing Christians admit to viewing pornography, including 40% of Christian women. This isn’t about pointing fingers—it’s about lifting the shame and creating real solutions.

“Porn is not a minor issue. It’s undermining the heartbeat of our marriages and families.”

For 10 years, Nick’s wife forgave his repeated confessions. But healing didn’t begin until Nick recognized the impact of his actions on her heart. It wasn’t enough to try harder—he had to go deeper.

“Her pain wasn’t the problem. My choices were. When I stopped minimizing her hurt and started listening, everything changed.”

Nick offers practical examples of what rebuilding trust looked like in his marriage: weekly check-ins, recovery groups, full honesty, and showing—not just saying—change. He emphasizes that wives need to see patterns of safety, not just hear promises.

“Trust is rebuilt when words and actions align over time—not when you demand forgiveness before you’ve earned it.”

Leslie and Nick both challenge churches that urge women to reconcile prematurely, while ignoring their trauma. Healing isn’t about keeping the marriage together at any cost—it’s about helping both people get healthy, whether or not the marriage survives.

“The greatest hope for a reconciled marriage is two healing people—not one healing while the other continues to harm.”

Nick explains how Pure Desire’s gender-specific recovery groups changed everything for both him and his wife. In community, they found tools, support, and the courage to stop hiding.

“You cannot heal in isolation. We were never meant to carry this alone.”

If you're feeling exhausted, stuck, or unsure if your marriage can survive the devastation of pornography, there is a path forward. Whether you're the one who struggles—or the one who’s been wounded—your healing matters.

👉 Learn more about Pure Desire Ministries and find recovery resources here: puredesire.org 👉 Looking for support for destructive or emotionally abusive relationships? Explore Leslie’s programs here: leslievernick.com

Friend, if you're hanging on by a thread, hear this: God sees your pain. He hears your cries. And He cares deeply about your healing. You don’t have to keep doing the same destructive dance. Whether your spouse is ready or not, you can start getting healthy today. There is hope. There is help. And there is freedom—one courageous step at a time.

What if the marriage you fought to save was the very thing destroying you?

In today’s raw and courageous episode, Leslie sits down with Naghmeh Panahi, a woman many first heard about when she passionately advocated for the release of her husband, Pastor Saeed Abedini, imprisoned in Iran for his Christian faith. But behind the public story of courage and faith, Naghmeh was quietly suffering in a destructive and abusive marriage.

Naghmeh shares for the first time some of the hidden truths behind her story—how culture, Christian teaching, trauma bonding, and spiritual confusion kept her trapped in abuse, and how God gently led her out of the rubble and into healing. Her story is not just about abuse; it’s about redemption, truth, and discovering her worth as a cherished daughter of God.

Whether you’ve questioned if your marriage is abusive, struggled to reconcile your faith with your suffering, or wondered if healing is even possible—this episode is for you.

🔍 Abuse Isn’t Always Obvious—But Your Body Knows Even after experiencing physical violence, Naghmeh didn’t initially see herself as an abuse victim. Cultural and Christian teachings told her to be submissive, to not trust her feelings. But she shares how her body, her spirit, and God’s truth began revealing what her mind had been trained to ignore.

🚩 Early Red Flags and Trauma Bonding From the beginning, Saeed criticized her appearance, isolated her from her family, and crossed sexual boundaries during their courtship. These moments formed deep trauma bonds that left her feeling trapped. Naghmeh bravely names the molestation she experienced and the misplaced shame that kept her silent.

🛑 When Faith Is Twisted to Justify Oppression Raised in Middle Eastern and conservative Christian cultures, Naghmeh was taught to value the institution of marriage over her personal safety. But she powerfully unpacks how Jesus does not call us property—He lifts, honors, and protects women. She reminds us that the God of the Bible hates the oppression of women, not those who break free from it.

💔 From Rubble to Revival—God Rebuilds Naghmeh shares how, after her story went public, she endured severe backlash from the Christian community—but also found a deeper intimacy with God in the wilderness. Through tears, silence, and surrender, God slowly rebuilt her life, her joy, and her calling.

🌍 God Is Using Her—and He Can Use You Too Now leading a thriving ministry reaching Iran, Afghanistan, and beyond, Naghmeh testifies that God still uses broken women. Her story proves that divorce is not disqualification—and that freedom leads to fruitfulness. Her vibrant joy and spiritual strength are evidence of God’s redemptive power.

If Naghmeh’s story resonated with you, know this: You are not damaged goods. It’s not too late. You can get out. You can heal. You can rebuild.

Sister, God never asked you to sacrifice your soul to save a marriage. He sees your pain. He honors your tears. And He’s not done with your story. Like Naghmeh, you may feel broken right now—but broken is not the end. It’s the beginning of something sacred, strong, and free.

Let God rebuild the ruins. Let Him plant deep joy where sorrow once lived. You are His beloved daughter—and your healing brings Him glory.

You are not alone.

Have you ever wondered if healing is truly possible after the deepest kind of betrayal?

Maybe you’ve been carrying the weight of shame, confusion, or silence for years. Or maybe someone you love is walking that road and you don’t know how to help. In this honest and hope-filled episode, Leslie is joined by Tabitha Westbrook, licensed therapist, abuse recovery expert, and survivor, for one of the most vulnerable conversations we’ve had yet.

Tabitha courageously shares parts of her own story of sexual abuse—both in childhood and in marriage—and offers profound insight into what real healing looks like. Together, Leslie and Tabitha explore how trauma impacts our bodies, our faith, our sexuality, and our relationships—and how God gently invites us toward wholeness.

Whether you’re walking through this journey yourself or supporting someone who is, you’ll leave this episode with truth, compassion, and a renewed sense of hope.

💔 Healing Isn’t a Straight Line—It’s a Sacred Journey Tabitha shares that healing happens in layers. Just when you think you're “done,” God may bring something new to the surface—not to punish you, but to lovingly bring it into the light. There is no shame in needing more healing.

🖐️ Your Body Wasn’t the Problem—Abuse Was For survivors, it’s common to disconnect from the body or view it as broken. Tabitha helps us reframe that: Your body isn’t your enemy. Gentle, safe touch—even starting with placing your hand over your heart—can begin the work of restoring trust and safety in your own skin.

💬 The Church Needs to Stop Being Silent Too often, women go to their pastors first—and are met with harmful advice or spiritual platitudes. Tabitha urges churches to get trauma-informed, stop shaming survivors, and become places of real healing, not deeper harm.

🕊️ Yes, We’re Talking About Sexuality—With Grace From reclaiming sexual health to navigating masturbation, orgasm, and pleasure after trauma, Tabitha speaks boldly and biblically about the realities many Christian women face. God designed sexuality to be good—and healing in this area is possible.

We’re thrilled to celebrate the release of Tabitha’s brand-new book, Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control, launching April 1, 2025.

This groundbreaking resource offers a biblically grounded, trauma-informed path to reclaiming your body and restoring your sexuality in a way that honors God and brings healing. Tabitha gently invites readers into truth, safety, and wholeness—no matter how broken or disconnected they feel.

👉 Order the book here: Tyndale House Amazon

🖊️ Don’t miss the companion workbook, launching the same day, to help you go deeper in your healing journey.

If this episode spoke to your heart, don’t walk this path alone. Leslie’s Conquer Membership community is a safe, faith-based space for women healing from destructive relationships. Inside, you’ll find support, coaching, and biblical tools to help you walk in truth and strength.

👉 Learn more and join the waitlist here: www.leslievernick.com

Friend, if your story includes abuse, shame, or silence—please know this: you are not alone, and you are not beyond healing. God sees you. He is not afraid of your wounds. There is no part of your story too dark for His light, and no part of your heart too broken for His love.

Take the next step. Speak the truth. Healing is possible—one brave choice at a time.

What do you do when the man you married is beloved by everyone, but you’re falling apart behind closed doors? When he’s neurodivergent—and you want to be compassionate—but you’re the one carrying the entire weight of the marriage, ministry, and motherhood?

In this deeply moving episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Leslie sits down with life coach, neurodiversity advocate, and former missionary Jenilee Goodwin. Jenilee courageously shares her story of being in a 23-year emotionally destructive marriage while also navigating the challenges of ministry, chronic illness, and parenting neurodivergent children.

Her journey—from burnout and confusion to clarity and empowerment—will resonate with every woman who’s ever asked: Is it really that bad… or am I just not trying hard enough?

With honesty, wisdom, and deep spiritual insight, Jenilee walks us through the complexities of differentiating neurodivergent limitations from emotionally abusive behavior, and how she found the strength to obey God—even when it meant letting go of everything she’d built.

Jenilee explains how difficult it was to separate her husband’s ADHD and possible autism from his emotionally abusive behaviors. The turning point? Realizing that neurodivergence doesn’t excuse a lack of empathy, unwillingness to change, or repeated disregard for her well-being. Diagnosis is not a license for disrespect.

As a pastor’s wife and missionary, Jenilee felt enormous pressure to keep up appearances. But when her health began to deteriorate and her husband refused to share the load, she had to make a painful decision: obey the institutional church… or obey God’s whisper to “stop.”

Jenilee describes the crushing emotional and mental labor she carried for her husband—being his memory, his planner, his spiritual leader—until she said no more. When she stopped overfunctioning, things crumbled… but clarity and healing finally began.

The lie that godly women must sacrifice themselves no matter what is one that keeps many stuck in harmful marriages. Jenilee shares how stepping into obedience—choosing truth over appearances—led to both heartbreak and unexpected joy.

From MS and fibromyalgia to chronic fatigue, Jenilee’s body bore the cost of the emotional toll she carried for years. But after she stopped rescuing her husband and started caring for herself, healing began—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Sister, you are not selfish for needing rest. You are not ungodly for drawing boundaries. You are not breaking your marriage—you are breaking free from patterns that are breaking you. Obedience to God may feel like a fire, but on the other side is freedom, clarity, and healing.

Don’t wait until your body forces you to stop. Listen to that still, small voice. God is calling you into truth—and into life.

You can do this. We’re walking with you.

Divorce is never the goal, but sometimes it’s the only solution to an abusive, destructive marriage. Yet, for many Christian women, the fear of financial ruin keeps them stuck in unhealthy relationships. Today, we’re tackling that fear head-on with financial expert Rhonda Noordyk, founder of the Women’s Financial Wellness Center and host of the podcast Disrupting Divorce Conversations for Women.

Rhonda has dedicated her career to helping women navigate the financial complexities of divorce with confidence and clarity. In this episode, she shares practical strategies for financial empowerment, ways to uncover hidden assets, and how to build a strong support team so that no woman has to walk this journey alone. If you've ever felt trapped by financial insecurity or overwhelmed by the thought of handling money on your own, this conversation is for you.

Divorce Isn’t the First Choice, But Sometimes It’s the Best Choice Many women hesitate to leave abusive or destructive marriages due to religious or cultural conditioning. Rhonda and Leslie discuss why staying informed about your options is not promoting divorce but rather promoting wisdom and safety.

Building a Strong Financial Foundation Starts with Awareness Whether you're contemplating divorce or just wanting to be more financially literate, knowing where your money is and how it works is crucial. Rhonda shares her Bridge Method, helping women breathe, build a financial team, and gather critical financial documents before making any decisions.

Common Financial Fears and How to Overcome Them Fear of being destitute, of never being able to own a home, or of not being able to provide for children keeps many women feeling stuck. Rhonda walks us through the knowledge-experience-confidence formula that helps women step into financial empowerment.

Practical Steps to Uncover Financial Information Rhonda shares insider strategies, including checking credit reports, IRS transcripts, and even using USPS informed delivery, to help women piece together their financial picture—even when their spouse has kept them in the dark.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone Having a trusted support system is key. If you don’t know where to start, find a financial expert, a supportive friend, or even a private investigator if necessary. Rhonda’s resources make it easier to take those first steps toward financial security.

• Listen to Rhonda's podcast Disrupting Divorce Conversations for Women
• Download Rhonda’s free resource: 6 Ways to Get a Fair Divorce Settlement – wfwcdivorce.com
• Explore Leslie’s coaching programs and community for faith-based support – leslievernick.com

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember this: You don’t have to figure it all out today. Just take one small step toward educating yourself and preparing for your future. God will guide your path, one decision at a time. You are not alone, and you are stronger than you think.

What happens when the person you trust most turns out to be a stranger behind closed doors? Many of us go into marriage believing we’ve found a godly partner, only to discover deception, manipulation, and an unraveling reality we never saw coming. In this powerful episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, Julie Sedenko sits down with Isla, a woman whose marriage began with hidden debts, constant lies, and a suffocating sense of tension. After years of heartache, separation, and a journey toward personal transformation, she and her husband now walk a different path—one built on truth, respect, and a deeper understanding of God's role in their lives.

If you’ve ever felt trapped in a relationship where words don’t match actions, where confusion and self-doubt creep in, this episode will encourage and empower you with the wisdom, faith, and tools to step into truth.

1. The Slow Realization of Deception Isla’s story began with excitement and hope—she believed she had chosen wisely. But from her wedding night onward, subtle red flags began to emerge: small acts of indifference, shifting moods, and later, outright lies. She learned that deception doesn’t always come with blatant betrayal; sometimes, it’s the quiet erosion of trust, the feeling that something is always just slightly off. If you feel unsettled in your relationship but can’t pinpoint why, it’s worth paying attention.

2. The Power of Denial and Overcompensating For years, Isla compensated for her husband's irresponsibility, picking up the slack and trying harder to make things work. She assumed his agreement with her concerns meant he would change, but true transformation requires action, not just words. Recognizing the difference between passive compliance and real accountability was key in her healing journey.

3. The Breaking Point: When You Can’t Walk Through the Door Sitting in her car, unable to enter her own home, Isla hit a moment of undeniable truth—her marriage was crushing her spirit. It wasn’t until she stepped back, created boundaries, and sought wisdom that she began to reclaim her life. Sometimes, rock bottom is the birthplace of transformation.

4. Healing Through Faith, Boundaries, and Community Isla's faith played a crucial role in her journey. She turned to Proverbs for wisdom, joined Conquer, and found a community of women who understood her struggle. Through this, she discovered that mutual, safe, and reciprocal relationships are God’s design—not a life of walking on eggshells. Healing required her to hold the relationship loosely, allowing her husband to take responsibility for his own growth.

5. Rebuilding with Wisdom and Caution After three years of separation, her husband had to prove his change—not with words, but with actions. Weekly accountability groups, personal counseling, and a renewed commitment to truth paved the way for reconciliation. Their marriage today looks nothing like before—marked by independent wholeness, clear financial separation, and intentional rebuilding. It’s not about returning to the old marriage; it’s about creating something new.

If Isla’s story resonates with you, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Conquer is a transformative support community designed for women facing destructive relationships. You’ll find biblical wisdom, practical tools, and the support of women who truly understand. Learn more and join the waitlist at leslievernick.com/conquersignup.

If you’re sitting in your car, afraid to walk inside, know this: God sees you. You are precious in His sight, and you deserve a life built on truth, respect, and mutual love. Don’t be afraid to take the next right step—one step at a time, one boundary at a time. You are not alone, and with God’s guidance, healing and clarity are possible.

When the Church Harms Instead of Heals: A Conversation with Dr. Diane Langberg

Does the church always protect the vulnerable? Unfortunately, the answer is no. Too often, church leaders and institutions protect their own reputation, power, and influence instead of the wounded and abused. This episode is a crucial conversation with world-renowned trauma expert Dr. Diane Langberg, who has spent over five decades counseling survivors of abuse and working to bring truth and light into the darkest places within the church.

In this episode, Leslie Vernick and Dr. Langberg discuss how churches can—and must—do better. They expose the dangerous ways churches enable abuse, misuse power, and silence victims in the name of God. If you've ever felt unheard, dismissed, or spiritually manipulated by those in leadership, this conversation will offer both validation and hope.

1. Why Churches Struggle to See and Address Abuse The church has been slow to acknowledge abuse within its walls. Too often, the institution is prioritized over the people. Jesus called leaders to "feed my sheep," yet many churches protect the system instead. Abuse survivors need churches that reflect Christ’s heart, not just uphold doctrine.

2. The Harmful Messages Women Hear About Abuse and Marriage Many women are told that preserving marriage at all costs is God’s will, even at the expense of their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. But God hates sin more than divorce. Jesus himself walked away from people who refused truth, and women are not called to stay in destructive relationships to honor God.

3. The Self-Deception of Abusive Church Leaders Abusive pastors and leaders often twist Scripture to justify their actions. They protect their reputations and minimize their sins, deceiving not only others but themselves. True repentance requires exposure and accountability, not secrecy and cover-ups.

4. How to Create Safer Churches for Abuse Survivors Churches must shift their focus from building large institutions to becoming places that reflect Christ’s love and justice. This means listening to survivors, seeking expert training, and prioritizing character over charisma in leadership.

5. God's Heart for the Wounded For those who have been harmed by their church, Dr. Langberg offers a powerful reminder: God sees, weeps, and hates the evil done in His name. He does not ask you to stay in an abusive situation. He is for you, not against you.

• Dr. Diane Langberg’s book: When the Church Harms God's People
• Dr. Diane Langberg's website: www.dianelangberg.com
• Leslie Vernick’s resources for abuse survivors: www.leslievernick.com
• Need support? Join our private community for women seeking healing and guidance.

If you've been hurt by the church, know this: God is not like the leaders who failed you. He sees you, loves you, and wants you to walk in freedom. Your voice matters, and healing is possible.

Thank you for listening to Relationship Truth Unfiltered. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.