Trump reinvents 9/11 with himself as the hero, fireman-carried, fist in the air, saving the day from... four miles away.

Meanwhile, it's all happening at the Reform conference, Farage lays out exactly how he'd neuter the House of Lords if it gets in his way, a woman protester gets her hair pulled and is hit with a crutch by livid OAPS and Robert Jenrick "resigns" from a job he doesn't have over a budget that doesn't exist.

Plus: Zia Yousaf's dog-whistle campaign video, the finest vox pops democracy has to offer, and one man who is, unfortunately, very open to dating his cousin. It's a pretty crazy one with a lot of laughs.

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