Dogs can talk...It's just a matter of time before we catch them slipping up because I know they've got lots to say but they need a low profile to report back to their alien dog leaders

I mean...I wouldn't say it was my hobby of collecting wishbones from chickens was the reason my wife divorced me...but it was definitely a contributing factor

I just kept getting confused cause she kept calling flip-flops "thongs"... I think we all can understand why I had to cut it off....right?

Well if you think about it...I don't need a helmet while riding my bike because...swag really.

That's it guys. Im living in a van from now on...I think this episode changed me

Babe, you're still my one and only...but it's very normal to have multiple one and only's. Like. The baby im having with one and only 2 is hardly going to be in the picture

okay dad...people aren't going to take you more seriously just because you bought a hummer...the opposite I think really

yea I mean arent you curious what goes on underneath an island? I just think we could take a submarine and go under it and check it out! Why has nobody done that before??