I'm sorry but if you can't look at a T Rex fossil and your jaw drops to the floor then..have a nice life

Yea dude I used your toothbrush. I’m just trying to be economical out here. You’re telling me you didn’t have a family toothbrush?? Yea right.

Listen man, I know you "dont care what we do" but YOU invited US over...so we assumed YOU knew what to do!

I mean...yes home owners associations are cringe...but PLEASE I ACTUALLY NEED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT MY NEIGHBOURS!!

When I had leftovers from lunch I would just stash them in my neigbors mailbox...I liked the guy too. Just didn' have anywhere else to stick my lunch

Yea dude I hate to break it to you but my train seat isn't really the place to be cutting your toenails...good on you for caring about hygene though

At this point I think we need to accept that the government just has a weird obsession with trying to optimize birds to do their work for them? Why have a human with a machine gun when we could just train a chicken to do it??

Watering your neighbour's lawn? Welp...I hope you enjoy rotting in a cell for the rest of your life