Last night as I fell asleep I imagined my thoughts written in invisible ink, like with the secret decoder pens that we’d find in a cereal box back when Kelloggs was cool. You remember, you can’t read the message without the second decoder pen. As I let go of my thoughts, I was comforted by the thought of not decoding my thoughts until morning. I wasn’t ignoring them. I was simply choosing to put them on my nightstand until morning. That little image helped me fall asleep faster. It’s a way of visualizing that my worries will still be there in the morning, and I don’t have to fix them right now.

This act of mentally setting down the decoder pen is emotional sobriety in action. It’s discipline. It’s choosing to rest instead of reacting. It’s an inner conversation that I’m responding thoughtful to. In recovery, I’ve learned that clarity comes by honoring the pause.

So, at night when your thoughts start forcing their way into your bed with you, imagine they are encrypted and give yourself permission to rest instead. Know that these thoughts are safe on your nightstand until you pick up the decoder pen tomorrow.

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For more information, visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com⁠.

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To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#emotionalsobriety #mindfulnesspractice #mentalhealthrecovery #sleephygiene #letgoandletgod #thoughtmanagement #recoveryjourney #restisproductive #anxietymanagement #nighttimeroutine

Today I met with my sponsor about Step 4. I began to see the self-inventory in a new way, broken down into three parts. The first is the traditional part of writing down my resentments and identifying my role in those relationships. What surfaces for me is a fear of abandonment. That fear has shown up in so many ways throughout my life, including pulling away from people before they have the chance to leave me. That’s the non-interesting part of my step 4 this time as it continues to be a theme in my life, but I’m working on it.

The interesting parts of Step 4 are those which I realized today. They are dissecting acceptance so that I can better achieve it in my relationships. First, recognizing that everyone has “their stuff”, as my sponsor always says. Everyone brings their own pain and experiences into relationships, just like I do. That awareness creates room for empathy. And then the last part is acknowledging that I can’t change other people. That doesn’t mean I’m okay with how they treated me, but it means I’m no longer wishing they were different. That’s where real freedom comes in. This way of looking at Step 4 today helped me take more meaningful responsibility, without shame, and gave me a way to approach the most painful resentments with more compassion and clarity.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

For more information, visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com⁠.

Visit my Etsy shop, Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#Step4Recovery #SoberLiving #TwelveSteps #EmotionalSobriety #LetGoAndLetGod #HealingJourney #FearOfAbandonment #SpiritualGrowth #RecoveryTools #OneDayAtATime

One of the scariest things I’ve done was let go of what I believed to be the truth about how to survive in this stressful world. My nervous system was shot. One could visibly see me shaking and hear my stomach doing gymnastics. To defend the life I’d built and settle my trembling hands, I had to drink. So, taking off that armor by denying myself alcohol was like casting me out naked in front of the world.

There’s a stage in early recovery, I like to call the “naked zone”, where we’ve stopped drinking but haven’t yet received the benefits of the program or learned the tools to manage life sober. That zone is vulnerable but unavoidable. Without the structure of the program and the people around me, I would’ve been swallowed by it. I just kept showing up because that’s what my sober friends told me to do.

My ego was blocking me from learning that my self-constructed truth was a mirage. Desperation cracked open my ego just enough to let the light of the program in. I began to hear other alcoholics sharing the thoughts that were in my head. And with that my ego quietly and gently broke down leaving me in tears. Those tears represented the years of pain my ego was protecting. Today I walk in a joyful truth that doesn’t require armor.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

For more information, visit me at ⁠⁠⁠recoverydailypodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ or email me at ⁠rachel@recoverydailypodcast.com⁠.

Visit my Etsy shop, Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org

#SoberLiving #LetGoAndLetGod #RecoveryJourney #EmotionalSobriety #OpenMindOpenHeart #EgoInCheck #OneDayAtATime #SurrenderToWin #HealingInProgress #TeachableSpirit