We've all been given some bad marriage advice from well-meaning folks. But what if that bad marriage advice is ruining your intimacy? My guest, Monica Tanner, and I discuss what helpful marriage advice couples should focus on instead. Monica shares wisdom from her upcoming book, Bad Marriage Advice, and how this relates to intimacy. Let's stop the crazy cycle and lean into the hard truths and practical steps needed to create lasting intimacy and connection in marriage.

Key Takeaways:

• Bad Marriage Advice (And Why It Backfires):
  You'll laugh and commiserate about the terrible marriage clichés we’ve all heard—like "happy wife, happy life," "don’t go to bed angry," and more.
• The Power of the Pause:
  The wisdom of taking a break during heated moments instead of forcing a late-night resolution.
• Intimacy Isn’t Automatic—It’s Cultivated:
  Intimacy was not always present in our marriages and has required time, personal growth, and intentionality to develop.
• Debunking the “You’ve Changed” Myth:
  Change is natural. The key is staying curious and engaged with your partner’s growth rather than resenting natural changes.
• From Lazy Communication to Loving Curiosity:
  You just have to listen to this one to grab the nuggets
• Collaboration Over Compromise:
  Using real-life examples, Monica and Dana model what it looks like to approach differences (early bird/night owl dynamics, for instance) with teamwork rather than resentment or forced compromise.

Quotable Moments:

• “At the root of all the bad marriage advice is lazy communication.” – Monica Tanner
• “There is no greater investment of your time than building a marriage that is healthy and whole.” – Dana Che

Resources Mentioned:

• Monica Tanner’s Website & Book Info: monicatanner.com
• Dana Che’s Free Intimacy Series Guide: danache.com/intimacyseries

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Is it chemistry or intimacy that keeps a relationship going strong? In today's episode, we discuss how chemistry gets you in the door, but intimacy is what keeps you in the room. When I first started dating my husband, it was electric: the butterflies, the late-night talks, the “I can’t stop thinking about you” feeling. We used to talk on the phone until we literally fell asleep listening to each other breathe! (Does anyone still do that these days?) Back then, I felt on top of the world. But was it love… or just chemistry?

Here’s the truth: that exhilarating rush draws you together, but it doesn’t always last—and it’s not the whole picture. Too many relationships end too early because people are yearning for chemistry alone.

In today's episode, we're discussing the essential differences—and connections—between chemistry and intimacy in marriage. I'll explain why a thriving relationship needs both the “fireworks” of chemistry and the “slow burn” of true intimacy, and I'll share practical steps to nurture both qualities in your relationship.

Key Takeaways:

• Chemistry vs. Intimacy:
  Chemistry brings excitement and passion at the start of a relationship, but lasting intimacy is built through emotional safety, vulnerability, and being truly seen and loved.

• The Intimacy Framework:
  My four-quadrant model to pinpoint where your relationship stands:

  1. High Chemistry / High Intimacy (the marriage sweet spot)

  2. High Chemistry / Low Intimacy (fun but fragile)

  3. Low Chemistry / High Intimacy (roommate syndrome)

  4. Low Chemistry / Low Intimacy (running on empty)

• Common Myths Debunked:
  - Myth #1: Chemistry automatically leads to intimacy.
  - Myth #2: Chemistry, once lost, can’t be revived.
  - Myth #3: Intimacy is just about s*x

This Episode's Free Resource:

Each episode in this series offers a free resource to grow your intimacy!
Download this week’s guide: Chemistry vs Intimacy Self-Check here!

Follow Dana Che on the socials where you can get shareable quotes about each episode!

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Do you freeze up or shut down when it’s time to have hard conversations? Maybe you avoid conflict altogether because you’re afraid of making things worse. In today’s episode, we’re talking about how to stop running from relational tension and start communicating with confidence—even when it’s uncomfortable.

Avoiding conflict might feel safe in the moment, but over time, it damages connection, fuels resentment, and creates distance in your relationship. I’ll share how you can shift from conflict avoidance to confident communication using practical tools that build emotional safety and mutual respect.

Whether you’re naturally more passive or you’re just tired of having the same arguments over and over again, this episode will help you develop the courage and clarity you need to address issues in a healthy way.

💬 What You’ll Learn:

* Why avoiding conflict is actually more harmful than conflict itself
* Common reasons we fear confrontation and how to overcome them
* How the way we were raised plays a significant role in how we handle conflict
* How to communicate confidently without being combative
* A simple framework to approach hard conversations with grace and truth

Resources Mentioned:

Get Your FREE "Conversation Starters When Facing Conflict" Guide Here!

💡 Connect & follow Dana Che on the socials!

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Facebook

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.