A cop is on the witness stand, and I'm asking him to define a lazy eye. He can't. He's the government's expert on my client's eyes, and my client has one.

This is the first episode, so it's the story of how I got there, and it's a stranger road than you'd guess. A war crimes tribunal at The Hague. A friend named Kelsey Argue, the greatest name any lawyer has ever had, who is the reason for everything that followed. A one way ticket to Medellin. Clerking for a judge in Alice Springs and flying village to village by bush plane. A bald public defender arguing an entire motion while his cheap wig slowly rotated on his head, in front of a judge who told me afterward he'd made up his mind five minutes in.

Then home, and the Hillsborough County public defender's office, where I actually learned this job. A first jury trial where the officer wrote that my client's speech was slurred, and the cross that followed was about Spanish diphthongs. A Baker Act where a woman was nearly committed for being a performer.

It all comes down to one idea. The decision usually gets made early, and everything after it is the story people tell about the decision. Somebody in the room has to be the one who checks.

Next episode: horizontal gaze nystagmus, argued both directions, as hard as I can argue each one.

Hosted by Rory Safir, a St. Petersburg criminal defense, DUI, and injury lawyer. Referrals and case calls welcome at (727) 472-8096 or thesafirlawyer.com.

Narrated with an AI voice clone of the host. The story and the analysis are his.

For information only. Not legal advice, and no attorney client relationship is created. Past results never guarantee a similar outcome. Client details are anonymized.