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Everyone around you can see it. Your sister sees it, your best friend sees it. And none of it moves you an inch. Dr. Eric Williams explains why — and it's not stubbornness.

My guest is a licensed marriage and family therapist with 20+ years of experience, an Army veteran, and creator of the Shared Language Framework, built for couples in their first five years before resentment sets in. He's worked with over 500 couples worldwide.

In this episode:

• Why two people can both be trying and still fail — "clean," "help," and "love" don't mean the same thing to both of them
• The six reasons couples end up in his office
• Why "you've changed" is his biggest pet peeve — and why both of you should have
• Trading right versus wrong for what's working versus what's not
• Can't versus won't — why "you knew how I was when you met me" is a forecast, not a defense
• Taking accountability without taking the blame
• The three questions: Is this relationship meeting your expectations? How long can I do this? What am I willing to do about it?

Nobody can answer those three for you. Nothing moves until you do. It took me a year to answer mine.

Find Dr. Eric Williams:

• Free communication quiz: whywefight.coastalfamilymedia.com/quiz
• Community: skool.com/the-origin-code-project

Ready to go deeper?

• More of Virginia's story at http://breakthepatterns.net
• Book a complimentary consultation: calendly.com/breakthepatterns
• Follow along on Instagram and Facebook @officialvirginiamcconnell

Support the show

Red Flags & Real Love is a Break the Patterns podcast, hosted by Virginia McConnell — Dating and Relationship Pattern Coach, specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery.

🔗 Free quiz: breakthepatterns.netlify.app
🔗 Website: breakthepatterns.net
📅 Book a free coaching consultation: calendly.com/breakthepatterns

Connect with Virginia:
📸 Instagram: instagram.com/officialvirginiamcconnell
👥 Facebook: facebook.com/officialvirginiamcconnell

New episodes every week.